Without you....

Lori,

I hope your having a better day today.  Have you ever thought of getting a fat analysis test done?  I'm really wondering if maybe your closer to your goal than you think.  Just look what happened with Jerz' test.  Maybe you should check into seeing  a diet doctor just to see (I'm not sure if they are the only ones who can do this or not).  But you really do seem like you might have quite a bit of muscle.  If not, then maybe the diet doc could come up with some kind of solution.  

But over all you are right, it does take enormous patience.  I have none, it drives me insane.  You have a lot on your mind right now it seems, let those tears of frustration go girl, they have to go somewhere.  I know I've been crying in the bathroom a lot lately.  Just out of purely hating this job I have and it killing my knee and neck.  I know I have to do it, so I keep quietly doing it.  At night I hate to sit because I know once I do my knee will totally give out (that is if it already hasn't).  Then it aches all night long to where I'm not sleeping enough.  It feels like a giant balloon right above my knee.   What we do for our family.  Ya have to let out your frustration some how, so let it flow and then you can get on with it! :)  

Think about the test, maybe I'm wrong, but I have this feeling it might be  your answer.  Then maybe your surgeries would be the next step for ya.  

Thanks..

I really shouldn't let all this bother me so much... that's the real problem.  I'll just never be happy being so big. 

HA.. to think of all the times at 160 lbs that I complained I was fat and went on crash diets to lose 10 lbs.. LMAO...  Oh Lord, to have those days back again.

You might be overweight, but you are not SO BIG!  I definitely understand your frustration.  The way you stick to just eating basically meat, eggs and cheese.  Your a better woman than me.  Your just like Neecee with all that exercise too.  You so deserve to be in Onderland.  Wish I knew what to tell ya.  Just keep doing the do and hopefully things will start moving again.

Put it out of your mind and have a good holiday. 

Brenda

No.. I eat veggies too... I just limit them to green peppers, broccoli, zucchini, yellow squash, occasional eggplant and occasional green beans.  I did add in tomatoes and onions....  but just took them back out.

I'm doing the do, Brenda.. .and this morning I'm up another 2 lbs.  It's just a matter of time before I'm back up to where I started...

Truly.... I don't know what to think anymore.  There's nothing left to read.... very little left to try.  WLS might be my only answer now.

Hey Lori....you may not realize it but you are such a huge inspiration to me and I"m a newbie on this site!! you have done an AMAZING JOB losing all that weight! I know its been said, so I won't repeat it, but we DO really expect our selves to be perfect...you have come so far....I have a little over a hundred to lose and I find myself saying, oh I've only lost 75 since January...and I tend to look at the fact that I still have so much more to lose, and frankly, not too many people at work barely noticed the 75!!  And that was tough...but I have...and we all face those dredddd %$#@! plateaus....a co-worker who got me into Jenny Craig in the first place...lost 120 pounds in exactly 11 months...she just lost consistantly...now this doesn't happen for everyone...but I am finding when I follow the healthy eating and exercising, its working for me too and I'm doing about 1700-2000 cals a day right now as she did....but the thing for her is that she plateaued...for 6 lonnnnnng grueling months...she was doing everything you're supposed to do during those nasty plateaus... and zip,nadda, zero was comin off and she was really starting to get frustrated (to say it nicely lol) but I watched her in awe....and she just kept pluggin away even when she was scared that she may be just stopped there (at that point she had about 60 left) but eventually it did come off....she's now down 180 lbs...and it took her (counting the 6 month plateau) about a year and a half...she's kept it off for two now and is maintaining.... but sweetie....I have hit a plateau too...and I just keep humming that song 'pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again' and remind myself thats its about Progress, Not Perfection!  You are doing such tremendous things with your life!! Asmy hubby likes to say 'good on ya mate' lol....GOOD JOB...just keep a pluggin...thats what life is anyhow right? Just puttin one step in front of the other...and trying to find our blessings each day! there are soooooooooo many including all these people here on this board/forum!!

Thank you...  THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!  ... awesome, awesome people..

I'm feeling much better now that I've painted some stuff and put window treatments back up and blah blah blah...  OH.. and peeing myself down to 212 from 220 is a major relief.  I just stayed home and stayed calm after a completely sleepless night.  I was watching the hurricane all night.  I dragged my sorry ass into the kitchen around 6:00am and made Jon's breakfast, lunch and snack for the day and went back to the sofa and just vegged out all day.  No sleep yet, but I'm definitely out of that deep funk.  I think I have to go get myself some kittens or an alpaca or something for company around here.  Well.. the schedule is that it's back to the gym tomorrow at 8:00am.  Then I do thursday and friday and stop.  Next week it'll be two full weeks that I backed  the exercise down to an hour and a half a day for 3 days, so I'm going to kick it back up a couple of notches and see what happens.  I'll go back in at an hour of cardio 6 days and an hour of weights for 3 of them with 1 day off.. do that for 2 weeks, then go back up to 2 hours of cardio a day (I'm talkin' outloud here).   Lack of sleep makes me even more weird!  lol

You're doing quite well.. 75 since January!  You GO girlie!  Jenny Craig, huh? I knew someone who was on that years ago and she did quite well.  She only had like 15 lbs to lose though.  Are you working out at all?   
A six month stall.. ay?  

Very interesting.......  more food for thought.

Patience.. God is trying to teach me patience.. and He picked "this"?   ooh.. He's a smart one!

Love the quote...patience is soooooooooooo hard to find some days, I just think I have the patience to look :) Only 15? girl I have 15 under one arm to lose lol...Blehhhh...15....if only :)  But I know those that have to lose only 15 often have just as much struggle (ok, I just can't relate to that....no matter how understanding I try to be lol) yep she stalled for 6 months....I would have been chewing on my arm at that point, but she somehow just kept telling me, 'oh it'll come off Chloe,it will...just gotta let my body do its thang'  I just thought...man I'd be finding the old chinese menu I thought I 'lossed' :)  But I had tried it all and JC seems to be fitting into my life really well dispite all the kirstie-alleyish jokes you always hear...are the one I just read/heard...'yeah I called Jenny Craig'....'she didn't answer'   ok, mayabe you had to be there.  But the food is really good (this coming from attempting Nutri system and gagging at everything I tasted...a freeze dried burger is not my idea of cuisine) and I use Lean cuisine and WW entrees sometimes too when money is tight cause the JC can be a little bit higher...and on weekends I just do my own thing.  Usually grilled chicken and salad or soupls in the colder months.  Exercise I am not doing as much as I should and could....just treadmill and exercise bike.  But one thing I really can recommend are those exercise Bands.  I have managed to find something tht actually is helping tighten up my bat wings! and really shaping up my back and shoulders and I just barely use them ten min. a night.  I am finding so much better results with them then hand weights.  I did tell myself that I might get a gym membership for Christmas cause I do like machines...just would rather exercise in the privacy of my own home...but I dont have room or money to get all those nifty machines. I tried a local CURVES but I went at my all time heaviest and I hate to say it, they weren't very accepting and I felt like a social outcast....one of them made a not so nice remark to me when she had to find a larger cuff to take my BP and then another one who was showing me the circuit made a joke when I was trying to get on a machine with difficulty...and no one bothered to even call after I stopped going to see how things were and it really surprised me...but since I was always the biggest one in there...I always got stares and very little support.  Never went back again. Maybe I'll pull a Julia Roberts/pretty woman and go back there one day all fit again and say, yeah...remember me?  And my sister back in Chicago is still going there keeping shape after years...so I just had the bad experience apparently.  But I know its good to mix it up when working out so your body doesn't get used to things....but I also am very cautious about trading one addiction (food) for another (working out) I dont want to have to work out for 2 hours a day or more to stay healthy and fit.  I love to exercise, never been a problem but emotional eating has been...but my goal is to get to a healthy weight for me (190-200 is good cause I'm 5'8") and get in 30-60 a day of cardio and some band work or gym if I start to go to one of them again... with maybe one day off...and just make more choices to move more.  My problem is I have a sit on my arse all day job...and if any of you have any good tips for exercising while sitting down...and not the donut to mouth arm workout...please let me know!!! Ironically I gained  a goood chunk of weight with this job too which is sad, cause I love my job but need to find ways of getting up...even if It can only be for a couple minutes at a time!

Don't look at me to goof on someone's do!  We gotta do what works .. and I'm not opposed to anything.. lemme tell ya!  So no Jenny Craig jokes here!  You GO, girly girl!

I'm doing a JC too..  THE J.C.!  I tried NutriSystem.. gained weight.  I found I'm very carb sensitive (and all the insulin I was shooting didn't help matters).  Prayer..  it started with a prayer  "Lord, please take this out of me or take me.. but please don't leave me like this".  Amen..   That was the same prayer that got me off of drugs.. and He heard it again when I couldn't walk 10 steps without feeling like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I thought I had a food addiction too (hell.. I've been addicted to everything else), but no.  I've always, always hated food.  I will say I have an eating disorder.  A disgusting one that shall remain nameless.. lol  I don't do that anymore though.. I don't feel the need.  I also don't eat nearly what I used to... I'm just not hungry anymore and I do NOT allow myself to fill up.  If it happens, I know I'm gonna be sticking something down my throat!  EWWWW.. hey...it's real!  I remember eating out of boredom... walking back and forth standing in front of an open fridge or staring aimlessly into the pantry.

Yes.. eating at my desk was a problem for me so I'm with ya on the work thang.  I haven't worked in 2 years...  and I'm trying to get the guts to get back out there.  It's a humbling experience.

I checked out curves, but I didn't like the hydraulics.  In order to increase the weights, you have to pump faster which is completely opposite of everything I know.  SLOW negatives works best for me. 

Yea.. chewin' on an arm.... I think I'm almost there.  I've been fighting at this weight since April.  I go down, then put on between 10 and 20 lbs in 2 or 3 days (fluid).  Really ****** me off.. (no pun intended).  If I was hanging out at KFC everyday, yea.. I would deserve this.. but that's not happening.  I grow most of what I eat except for the cow.. that I went across the road to kill!  ONLY KIDDING!  (I've been tempted.. I see those suckers and think "fillet").

Ok.. my last thoughts (these emotional enemas are exhausting.. aren't they?)

I would rather exercise at home too, but going to the gym is the beginning of getting out of the house.  For the first few months I walked in looking at the floor......  put my earbuds in and did my thing without so much as a nod.  Three days a week I work with Andrew.. my trainer.  People have been stopping to talk to me lately.. and although it feels good to interact with people, sometimes I wanna slap 'em and say "hey.. if you came here to socialize.. go ahead on, but you're getting in the middle of MY DO so GO AWAY!"  I don't though... I just smile and nod and ease my way to the treadmill, close my eyes with my music on so it doesn't appear that I'm being rude when I don't hear them.  LOL

I think we learn a lot by watching others if we pay attention.  I see folks pumping the weights furiously and getting nowhere.  This reminds me to keep my form perfect at all times.  Not "ok", but PERFECT.

Well.. this was fun!  Instead of walking back and forth to the scale, I actually focused!  Thanks for the bantar!

You're well on your way.. keep on going with your bad JC self.  I'll be here tomorrow as usual!

Niters!
 

well I will check in tomorrow as well cause I think I have found yet another addiction...but this one might be healthier--support! and this site! I feel like I have finally found folks who truly know what I am dealing with as well....along with the Jenny site too...but I kinda like this one a bit better..... Oh before I retire (or my hubby physically takes my little laptop away for good) I have to tell you something funny that I thought of when you were mentioning getting interupted (HOW dare they?!!!)at the gym when wanting to really focus on working out.  Two of my co-worker are deaf.  But they are also very warped, God love em both, I certainly do.. We keep ourselves in stitches most of the day. And they have taught me sign lauguage and told me to use it when I need to 'remove myself from annoying people' in any given situations LMAO ...ok perhaps some might find this a bit bizarre but I have used 'no speaka englaze' when bill collectors used to call years ago lol so hey, Im not proud in that area lol but its just a thought :)  Hey I use JC with jc....so hows dem apples? goooooood night ..need to get to bed so to enjoy going back to work after a holiday weekend...always heaps of fun for all....be still my heart!!!