Depressed... battling 'self medicating' with food

The joy of it.

Life.

Seems that I am having a bit of a struggle at the moment.  I worked myself into one of those "life sucks" "I hate everything" moods lately.

Only problem is that when I get like this I really struggle with eating rubbish because it makes me feel good (for a moment anyway). I find my sorry self in the kitchen just "looking" through the pantry for something to eat. ANYTHING.  Something to fill the self nurturing void that is screaming for attention.  Preferably something wicked- cause eating a 'treat' feels like getting some of that comfort I desperately need.

I know... the enjoyment I get from eating this rubbish only turns into self loathing when I get on the scale and see that it has crept up a smidgen.  Time to kick my own butt and face the issues instead of stuffing them down with food.

Anyway, if you remember me then maybe you can kick my butt some too?

If you do remember me, then maybe now you know why I have been 'absent'.  Just checking out of life too much and have ended up on anti-depressant/ anti anxiety meds (which don't seem to help my self regulation with food). 

*Sigh*

There you go... I just put my heart on my sleeve.

Em

Sorry to hear, Em.

My advice?

Get sunlight.
Get sleep.
Destress with exercise (hard core to up the adrenaline).
And give yourself a great low carb treat.  I know you do low fat/low cal.  But your body may be needing more fat.

My latest indulgence:

 

COCONUT FUDGE
1/4 cup virgin coconut oil *
2 tablespoons natural peanut butter, brought to room temperature
2 tablespoons cocoa
1/2-1 cup granular Splenda or equivalent liquid Splenda, to taste (see my comments) (sometimes I double it for sweetness)

In a small bowl, microwave the coconut oil about 30 seconds on HIGH to melt. Whisk in the peanut butter then the cocoa. Add the Splenda to taste. I recommend starting with about 1/4 cup and add more if you think it needs it. Pour into a small nonstick foil-lined container and freeze until solid, about 20-30 minutes. Gently cut into squares with a thin, sharp knife. Store in the refrigerator or freezer.

Makes 4 servings
Can be frozen

* If you use refined coconut oil, it won't have any coconut flavor.

With 1/2 cup granular Splenda:
Per Serving: 183 Calories; 18g Fat; 3g Protein; 6g Carbohydrate; 1.5g Dietary Fiber; 4.5g Net Carbs

With 1 cup granular Splenda:
Per Serving: 195 Calories; 18g Fat; 3g Protein; 9g Carbohydrate; 1.5g Dietary Fiber; 7.5g Net Carbs

With liquid Splenda:
Per Serving: 171 Calories; 18g Fat; 3g Protein; 3g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 1.5g Net Carbs

This isn't really much like fudge. The consistency is more like a chocolate bar. It will be crisp when you bite into it.

Thanks for the ideas.

Sun... winter here.  But will try to get out more.

Sleep- is weird at the moment as I seem to be alternating between constantly feeling tired then once I do sleep I am having broken sleep with nightmares.

Exercise.  My saving grace.  Hard to even move to do that some days.  But I make myself. Need all the endorphins I can get.

I could certainly go a piece or two of that fudge... yummy.

Em

 

 

Try taking an Alkaseltzer right after your first binge, or right after you know you have eaten too much.
Think thoughts of clear bubbles working out that empty feeling in your brain,and replace the incesant need to stuff food in your mouth, with the need to clear yourself out.

Remeber, it may feel good in the moment, but you will feel like crap when it's all done. Fight that all or nothing urge, and get moving..

DONT GIVE UP JUST CAUSE YOU GAVE IN !!!

I have been drinking tea and coffee by the bucket load.  Have even switched to caffeine free and green teas so I don't over do the caffeine. 

I won't give up.  I have come too far to go backwards now.

The interesting thing in this process is indentifying triggers for me to eat unplanned foods:

1) Being IN the kitchen

2) Seeing the food

3) Seeing someone else with food

4) Feeling down doesn't make me eat - it just makes me less able to walk away or say no to eating when I am not even hungry.

It is useful to know these triggers as I can choose to avoid the situations sometimes.

Em 

 

 

 

Thanks Maria.

I like that motto.

I will not give up.  No way.  I have come too far. Oh and on snacking...yeah, it does make me feel like crap after.

Em

http://www.figureathlete.com/free_online_article/features/st op_sabotaging_yourself  

Thanks for that website.  It is a good one.  So is the authors site.

Em

Ems, I have been worried about you. I want to pm you because of what I really think.

You got good advice here, get out side, even if it is wintery down under (isn't it?).  And nurture, maybe with food, but good food, like veggie soup that takes a long time to shop for, cut up - it will fill up some hours.

This is a rough patch, luv. Try to set timers to stay out of the pantry, or go for walks instead. Go to sad movies, you have to get this pain out of you.

Be the Observer in your body, not the Victim.  Watch the pain bodied you, like it is not you and ask hard questions.

I am making myself some 'love in a pot'- VEGGIE SOUP! Great idea- binge and nurture but make it nutritious. Actually, I think I have even suggested that to Mary before.  I should have taken my own advice.

Thanks for the PM.  There are some hard questions for sure.  Just need to find answers.

Em

LOVE YOU GIRL!