Sorry for freaking out!
Ok guys.. sorry for blowing a hissy fit. Thank you for indulging my insanity.
My kid is in Florida.. there's a storm heading that way and it's making me want to go down there and drag her back by her hair (this is one of the reasons we moved out of there). That coupled with unreasonable weight gain (although I should be accustomed to it by now) is making me crazy.
I've decided to ditch the gym today. My body needs recovery time anyway and I notice it's getting more and more difficult to get my heart rate up as I do my cardio which means I'm becoming too conditioned for weight loss. I don't think my diet is off (except for the total sh*t I ate last night). I can't handle grains so I have to stay away from them. Some of you said that you cringe at what I eat, but it works for me. I was told a long time ago by an endocrinologist that I'm the type who will not be able to eat what I see others eat and getting up to 325 lbs kinda proved that... so I eat to avoid the discomfort of being hungry all the time, while maintaining my blood sugar AND lose weight. It works. Now I don't down what others do..... you all know my feeling on this. I believe that we should all do whatever works for OUR particular body chemistry .. and I've appreciated the support some of you have shown for the way I've been doing it.
I mentioned in an earlier post that the fluid problem is MY problem. All the doctor said was that I should be certain to take the Lasix and potassium every day... and some days I double up to 80 mg. I do notice that if I deviate at all with my diet (quantity) that the fluid rushes in... so I know I can't up my calories. I've had too many years of yo yo dieting and self destructive behavior that I believe is causing me to have difficulty now.
I took a couple of xanax and put myself out pretty early last night but managed to continually wake up and eat hershey kisses all night. Now... I never ate that many BEFORE I began dieting so it was just that "I'll show you" attitude I was having with myself. Yea.. I feel the crappy sugar headache from it this morning. I woke up at an 85 bs, so my pancreas and beta cells must be working properly. In the old days, I would have woken to a 400 over that.
I washed all of my window treatments and got my comforter, skirt and shams to the dry cleaners. I put away all the decorations in the garage and I sent Jon out early to rent a steam cleaner for the carpets. I'll just spend the day doing some serious spring cleaning and try to forget what's going on. Of course, the furniture is pretty heavy and has to be moved so it's not like I'm not going to get ANY exercise... just not the regimented kind. (Jon can't help me .. he has a bad back). I must say here and now that I HATE cleaning.... but it's a good punishment for the major indiscretion last night.
This morning I made an omelet with shaved ham and provolone and 4 eggs and had about 1/3 of that (the rest for Jon's breakfast). I made his lunch and snack as usual.. (ho hum) and I'm just keeping some tranquilizers handy so if I should begin to blow a fit and think about hot pockets I'll just find better living today through chemistry.
Ok.. I'm outtie but will take my breaks on the computer throughout the day. As soon as Jon gets his butt out of here and off to work I can get started.
thanks again..
See youz guyz lata.
Lori
My kid is in Florida.. there's a storm heading that way and it's making me want to go down there and drag her back by her hair (this is one of the reasons we moved out of there). That coupled with unreasonable weight gain (although I should be accustomed to it by now) is making me crazy.
I've decided to ditch the gym today. My body needs recovery time anyway and I notice it's getting more and more difficult to get my heart rate up as I do my cardio which means I'm becoming too conditioned for weight loss. I don't think my diet is off (except for the total sh*t I ate last night). I can't handle grains so I have to stay away from them. Some of you said that you cringe at what I eat, but it works for me. I was told a long time ago by an endocrinologist that I'm the type who will not be able to eat what I see others eat and getting up to 325 lbs kinda proved that... so I eat to avoid the discomfort of being hungry all the time, while maintaining my blood sugar AND lose weight. It works. Now I don't down what others do..... you all know my feeling on this. I believe that we should all do whatever works for OUR particular body chemistry .. and I've appreciated the support some of you have shown for the way I've been doing it.
I mentioned in an earlier post that the fluid problem is MY problem. All the doctor said was that I should be certain to take the Lasix and potassium every day... and some days I double up to 80 mg. I do notice that if I deviate at all with my diet (quantity) that the fluid rushes in... so I know I can't up my calories. I've had too many years of yo yo dieting and self destructive behavior that I believe is causing me to have difficulty now.
I took a couple of xanax and put myself out pretty early last night but managed to continually wake up and eat hershey kisses all night. Now... I never ate that many BEFORE I began dieting so it was just that "I'll show you" attitude I was having with myself. Yea.. I feel the crappy sugar headache from it this morning. I woke up at an 85 bs, so my pancreas and beta cells must be working properly. In the old days, I would have woken to a 400 over that.
I washed all of my window treatments and got my comforter, skirt and shams to the dry cleaners. I put away all the decorations in the garage and I sent Jon out early to rent a steam cleaner for the carpets. I'll just spend the day doing some serious spring cleaning and try to forget what's going on. Of course, the furniture is pretty heavy and has to be moved so it's not like I'm not going to get ANY exercise... just not the regimented kind. (Jon can't help me .. he has a bad back). I must say here and now that I HATE cleaning.... but it's a good punishment for the major indiscretion last night.
This morning I made an omelet with shaved ham and provolone and 4 eggs and had about 1/3 of that (the rest for Jon's breakfast). I made his lunch and snack as usual.. (ho hum) and I'm just keeping some tranquilizers handy so if I should begin to blow a fit and think about hot pockets I'll just find better living today through chemistry.
Ok.. I'm outtie but will take my breaks on the computer throughout the day. As soon as Jon gets his butt out of here and off to work I can get started.
thanks again..
See youz guyz lata.
Lori
Dude, i was thinking you needed a slap like in the old movies - you were rawther hysterical! Glad you feel better.
I SOOOOOO understand how your head can get that way. I wish I had a nickel for every time i felt just as hopeless.
It's almost like we all have to not think about any of this being about weight loss...just go about our business of choosing high quality food, whatever our plan may be, move out butts and be done with it. The scale will say what it will.
Trust me, i think all of us feel this way. At least you recognize it all - and admitted it.
hugs....
I SOOOOOO understand how your head can get that way. I wish I had a nickel for every time i felt just as hopeless.
It's almost like we all have to not think about any of this being about weight loss...just go about our business of choosing high quality food, whatever our plan may be, move out butts and be done with it. The scale will say what it will.
Trust me, i think all of us feel this way. At least you recognize it all - and admitted it.
hugs....
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." ~Mark Twain
(deactivated member)
on 8/18/08 1:52 am - Rochester, NY
on 8/18/08 1:52 am - Rochester, NY
Lori....glad to hear your BS was normal today....how the heck do you account for that? I was worried about ya.
Hey...a hissy fit is what we all need once in a while....glad you decided to share yours with us. Now there's a perfect night.....waking up to Hershey kisses every few hours....my kind of insomnia.
Boy, bet that house will sparkle today. I ate like sh** this weekend too and managed to gain 3.5lb (I know, shouldn't have gotten on the scale), but just got back from the Y and an hour of water walking and am determined once again. Must have been something in the air this weekend.
Will pray this storm heads out to sea without doing any damage.
Hey...a hissy fit is what we all need once in a while....glad you decided to share yours with us. Now there's a perfect night.....waking up to Hershey kisses every few hours....my kind of insomnia.
Boy, bet that house will sparkle today. I ate like sh** this weekend too and managed to gain 3.5lb (I know, shouldn't have gotten on the scale), but just got back from the Y and an hour of water walking and am determined once again. Must have been something in the air this weekend.
Will pray this storm heads out to sea without doing any damage.
Again.. there's no way you could have gained 3.5 lbs over the weekend. Why the HELL do we do this to ourselves! Think about it... think about what's in 3500 calories. That's a LOT of food.. you'd have to do that 3 and a half times to gain 3.5 lbs. I think science needs to take a closer look at this because to gain like that you'd have to eat a big chocolate cake every day for a week.
My stomache is getting raunchy again just thinking about it. It freaks me out that I burn like 1500 calories at the gym everyday, yet I still gain the way I do.
Maybe I'm just raunched out at the kid being down there and not doing the right thing.... especially after she has SEEN FIRST HAND the devastation these storms leave in their wake. I'll just keep watching the news with this first class headache. Grrrrrrrrrr
My stomache is getting raunchy again just thinking about it. It freaks me out that I burn like 1500 calories at the gym everyday, yet I still gain the way I do.
Maybe I'm just raunched out at the kid being down there and not doing the right thing.... especially after she has SEEN FIRST HAND the devastation these storms leave in their wake. I'll just keep watching the news with this first class headache. Grrrrrrrrrr
(deactivated member)
on 8/18/08 4:00 am - Rochester, NY
on 8/18/08 4:00 am - Rochester, NY
Oh I know....but ate more carbs than I should have and you know those carb-o-hydrates (they soak up tha****er). It will come off, but it's frustrating....I know, preaching to the choir. I would be flipping out too if I gained 10lb overnight. Do you have one of those fancy scales that measures % body fa****er etc? Would that be better or worse to know it was just fluid? Just something else to get paranoid about I guess...never had one myself.
Well, we'll just keep doing the do and hoping we live long enough to see the other side of 200! LOL
Where in Florida is your daughter?
Well, we'll just keep doing the do and hoping we live long enough to see the other side of 200! LOL
Where in Florida is your daughter?
She's on the west coast.. SW Florida.. near the beach.
Jon just called to see if I was still flipping out and I told him that I think I'm going to get a gastric bypass. If I don't lose it with that..... then I know it's over. I'm not into pain but I'm running way behind schedule. I should have had this freakin' weight off of me by the end of June. Instead of losing now.. I'm gaining. He says "there's a medical reason". Oh SURE.... he should be me trying to tell a doctor that who's looking at me like I'm lying about what I'm eating... treating me like an *sshole.
Oh.. I'll get accused of not exercising too.. That seems to be a favorite. I CANNOT get under 200 lbs and right now I can't stop myself from gaining.
Maybe I need to do a liquid fast if I can handle it. It's hard not to eat at all. I've done it before but I was younger and stronger willed.
I do have a scale that measures body fat % as well as fluid. I see a small increase in fluid.. I mean ... small... like 1%. I just got on the scale.. 218. Three days ago I was 208.. What a b*tch.
Jon just called to see if I was still flipping out and I told him that I think I'm going to get a gastric bypass. If I don't lose it with that..... then I know it's over. I'm not into pain but I'm running way behind schedule. I should have had this freakin' weight off of me by the end of June. Instead of losing now.. I'm gaining. He says "there's a medical reason". Oh SURE.... he should be me trying to tell a doctor that who's looking at me like I'm lying about what I'm eating... treating me like an *sshole.
Oh.. I'll get accused of not exercising too.. That seems to be a favorite. I CANNOT get under 200 lbs and right now I can't stop myself from gaining.
Maybe I need to do a liquid fast if I can handle it. It's hard not to eat at all. I've done it before but I was younger and stronger willed.
I do have a scale that measures body fat % as well as fluid. I see a small increase in fluid.. I mean ... small... like 1%. I just got on the scale.. 218. Three days ago I was 208.. What a b*tch.
Glad your feeling better today. I hopped on here with high hopes I would see a post from you. Everyone has their days, yours was yesterday and now your back at it. I swear something must be in the air lately. Haven't you noticed how many people are having problems on this board lately? Starting to think we all need to go shoot our scale.
Glad to see you back in full force!
Wish I was feeling better... but it never feels better to get on the scale and see such a gain. I've just been working so hard on it.
Yanno, Holly... I could see if I was lolligagging or going out for ice cream and thinking "that's ok... it won't make a difference"... but that's not the case.
I'll remain pissed off... I'll just try to keep it limited to a few holes in the wall. I've just got to settle myself to the fact that there's not a darned thing I can do about it anyway.
Yanno, Holly... I could see if I was lolligagging or going out for ice cream and thinking "that's ok... it won't make a difference"... but that's not the case.
I'll remain pissed off... I'll just try to keep it limited to a few holes in the wall. I've just got to settle myself to the fact that there's not a darned thing I can do about it anyway.
(deactivated member)
on 8/18/08 6:04 am
on 8/18/08 6:04 am
Lori:
I'm glad to see your post today. I know after a day like yesterday, it's hard to keep it in perspective but you've done a GREAT job. Remember that you've lost over 100 pounds which is a huge accomplishment. Also keep in mind that you inspire many of us with your commitment to your program - both food and exercise.
And take a xanax when you need it. I certainly did today and I'm feeling better. 
I wish you continued success....you ARE successful! 
Kim
Let's not use words like "accompliment" and "inspire". I feel neither of those. I feel stuck, confused, irritable (to say the VERY least), let down and disillusioned. Logic says that if you DO the DO, you'll be successful, but since April I've been wrestling with the same freaking garbage.
No.. I'm not going to throw a hissy fit and even though I said I wasn't going to go to the gym today, I went and did a good hour of cardio anyway.. (not like it'll do any good) but if I don't at least try..... I don't know..... with any luck I'll wither away.. LMAO.. I WISH.
At least my carpets are clean but the scarves around the bamboo blinds aren't rehung because I have nothing in this house which will hold OVER 200 lbs! (just another reminder).
I did make 218 today. Three days ago I was 208. Everytime I get close ... I get totally screwed and the freakin' scale doesn't even kiss me first.... it just says "YOU SCREWED UP SOMEWHERE!"
I didn't punch any walls yet (cause I know I'll be the one to have to fix them). I didn't take it out on anyone (Jon's thrilled he has to work late tonight). I just cleaned my house to within an inch of it's life .............. and maybe I'll just run to home depot and get some paint! (Not that ANYONE EVER comes to my house), but ... I dunno... maybe I've been eating and not realizing it because the only thing I do is go to the gym and work in the garden... who knows.
No.. I'm not going to throw a hissy fit and even though I said I wasn't going to go to the gym today, I went and did a good hour of cardio anyway.. (not like it'll do any good) but if I don't at least try..... I don't know..... with any luck I'll wither away.. LMAO.. I WISH.
At least my carpets are clean but the scarves around the bamboo blinds aren't rehung because I have nothing in this house which will hold OVER 200 lbs! (just another reminder).
I did make 218 today. Three days ago I was 208. Everytime I get close ... I get totally screwed and the freakin' scale doesn't even kiss me first.... it just says "YOU SCREWED UP SOMEWHERE!"
I didn't punch any walls yet (cause I know I'll be the one to have to fix them). I didn't take it out on anyone (Jon's thrilled he has to work late tonight). I just cleaned my house to within an inch of it's life .............. and maybe I'll just run to home depot and get some paint! (Not that ANYONE EVER comes to my house), but ... I dunno... maybe I've been eating and not realizing it because the only thing I do is go to the gym and work in the garden... who knows.
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