Just blabbering...

I went to my doctor today and we were talking about my weight loss. I was there a week and a half ago for ringworm and I weighed 326. Today I weighed 320. He started talking to me again about WLS. I told him that I had not ruled it out and that it was definitely a viable opton when the time was right. He asked when that would be. I said when I knew exactly what surgery I wanted, my current plan of action quit working and when I knew I could work the surgery the way it was intended to be worked.

Honestly, my biggest fear is being 5 years down the road and put the weight back on. Then what? All that time, energy, effort and money went for what? For me to start right back where I was? No thanks. Besides, most WLS work on the premise of restriction and malabsorption. I can restrict. I'm doing it. I don't have to be cut on to that much. Do I fall sometimes? Of course I do but overall, I am doing it.

Anyway, we talked for a good 20 minutes and he told me he had a couple of WLS patients that thought the surgeries would work miracles in their lives only to find out the only thing that changed was their weight, everything else was still as it was. He said he is proud of my outlook and how proud I am of myself and reminded me again that this is a life long struggle but it is worth it if I want it badly enough.

I told him it's like this. My mom is only 56 years old and weighs almost 400#. This year she has been diagnosed with sleep apnea, chronic asthma, and congestive heart failure. These add to her high blood pressure, depression and severe edema (Her feet look like seal flippers on the end of elephant legs literally.). She walked from her bed to the bathroom to the laundry room, put her pants on, got a soda and sat down and literally could NOT breathe. Her house is EXTREMELY small (like 900 sq ft) so she only walked a grand total of 20ft if she was lucky. She is looking at losing her job of bus driver at this point because of her health. I DO NOT WANT TO BE HER!!!!

I was almost there. I weighed 373# and could her myself rasping when I breathed, never wanted to move, and just didn't care as long as I had food, I was happy. I'M NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE! I can move. I am happy. I am proud. I have a goal and I WILL achieve it. I love the way my life and outlook are changing. I love being me right now.

He looked at me and said, "I think you just might be the one to beat the odds." I think that was the best thing he could have possibly said to me.

Beth

Great attitude, Beth!  You're on your way to a life of being free from the "prison" of food addiction.
Best wishes for continued success,
Kim

Thank you, Kim. That's what I am counting on!
Beth

Awwe Beth...that was sooo beautiful!  You are right, you are moving farther and farther away from the need for surgery.  I could understand if your health was horrible and you needed to lose the weight immediately, but now you've bought yourself some time to do this on your own.  AND YOU'RE DOING IT!  I have friends who've had this surgery and they are constantly dieting so except for fixing their health, they are on the same diet I am, only they can't take a lot of every day medicines and they are constantly being monitored.  So now that you've had all of these great results, they get addictive and you want to see more great results, until the number on the scale makes you happier than chocolate!

Mary

Beth,
   You CAN do this!! Look at how far you have come already!!! You are able to move and get around and feel better about yourself!! We are all here for you and you keep on fighting..sure it is a life long fight..but hell I am willing to take it and I know that you are too!!! Whats great..is we have the people here to help us each and everyday!! Only if you could get your mom up and moving and start seeing her weight drop! Don't give up!!! You CAN do this..we ALL can..we just have to really want to! We all have our bad days..but we pick up and get going again!!

Beth,

   You are truly an inspiration. With that attitude and motivation I know you will succeed! It's all in the mind - If you want it bad enough, you can achieve it. You have a wonderful outlook on life. Congrats on the weight loss that you have already achieved!!


Jessica

omg..this post took my breath away. This was a great post. Just from your heart.

Beth, all the things you are doing matter, no matter how this all turns out. I know that you will beat it all.

Your mom did not have the choice of wls. You do. You are young enough to analyze if you do really need it. Take a bit more time and then let God lead you.

Meanwhile, we all watch you and know what you are trying to do here. God is with you and we are too!

Your thoughts are very organized.. and I feel privelaged to have a peek inside of you.

You're right...  what happens 5 years down the road....   I've thought of that too.  How many times can I have my plumbing rearranged before I have none?  Your do is doing it for you, so why would you need to look further than yourself right now.  It takes courage.. and you obviously have this much needed quality because you are living proof that this can be done!

Your kind of watching your mom the way I watched my brother..  I can almost feel what you're thinking - there aren't words for it.  It hurts to see these things but it's giving you a peek at your future options- and it's giving you the strength you need to turn your life around.. ..

Go with God on this one.. every step of the way.. and KEEP ON STEPPIN'!!!

Beth....haven't been on here for a while and trying to play catch up today.

I was really touched by your wonderful spirit and attitude.  Attitude is so important in all of this.  If we can think positively and BELIEVE that we can accomplish this goal, it is so within our reach.  You are being very realistic about it all and are being such a beautiful example for your children as well.

My heart breaks when I hear of your mom (younger than me) and so incapacitated.  Has she ever considered the WLS?  Is she encouraging to your weight loss?

How wonderful to hear such praise from your doctor and validation of all your hard work.  Your beauty (inside and out) shines through each of your posts....what a loving and caring person.  You will make it and we are all here to cheer you on.

Thanks for sharing with us....Sherrie

Beth,

I stand and applaud you! YOU are happy. YOU are proud. YOU have a goal you will achieve! I LOVE IT!!! Whoo hoo!!! What a great way to start the morning.

Goodness. Come to Seattle and we'll go to Pike Place and have tea by the water and feed the seagulls. You are an inspiration and a bright light. THANK YOU for the post.

Ruth Shapovalov
Bothell WA near Seattle