A less than supportive spouse

It's a semantics thing here. When you say diet, you mean to restrict them.  I say diet = any food plan that works for you. Some people may be eating too many cals for his/her body and be in a state of gain. Therefore, the diet, or food plan, would indeed call for restriction.

In my way of terminology, one can be on a maintenance diet - eating just the right amount of cals, not gaining, not losing. Maybe for you that caloric level to maintain is 1900, maybe mine is 1600.

Both you and I agree that how to get to ideal weight is not to greatly restrict cals. I did not read his blog, but just making sure that our new guy does have some idea how many he currently eats.

We both agree that no matter what, your food plan/diet/way of eating is long term.  It may change caloric levels, but nonetheless, I know I do better when I have at least a ballpark of how many cals I am taking in.

I am on a diet - a plan -  for life. If it suits you to not put it that way, farbeit for me to negate that.

OK, I understand your approach (though I was addressing your comment that I don't think calories count and correcting that point).  I just fear most people don't understand calories.  Using myself as an example--calories to maintain my weight now--3500; calories to simply breathe and function, 1900-2100; calories to lose weight given my activity-1900-2500.  I know the mistakes *I* made--constantly hearing the message "eat less and move more" and it was wholly inappropriate.  Not all fat people overeat and need to restrict from there.  And even when they do, the amount they restrict is important.  I know being bombarded by the "eat less, move more theory" made me fatter and remember, I was 320lbs last year on 1000 calories for 6 months.  That message is terribly pervasive and can lead to a wrong mentality, IMHO.  It can do more harm than good.  I know even as I struggled with slow loss many in a similar boat would suggest further restriction.  I'm just suggesting he figure out the numbers and go from there.  He can't go wrong.

HELLO EVERYONE,
 
   MY NAME IS RITA AND I AM NEW TO THIS SITE. WHAT I WAS WANTING TO KNOW IS CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT 'BMR' IS AND HOW DO I CALCULATE MINE? I AM VERY UNHAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT OF 240# AND REALLY NEED TO GET HEALTHY FOR MYSELF AS WELL AS MY FAMILY. I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A QUICK FIX,JUST ONE THAT WILL  ADD YEARS TO MY LIFE AND LIFE TO MY YEARS. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? I AM ONLY 37 YRS.YOUNG AND NEED SOME ADVICE ON WHAT WORKS FOR MOST WITHOUT WLS.