Um... attention?
Wow.. the weirdest things have been happening at the gym lately.
First.. one lady decided to strike up a conversation with me. She mentioned that she's been "watching" me. Now.. I don't like being watched.. but I was polite and the conversation made the time on the eliptical go faster.
Next, there was a heavy woman who basically said the same thing.... she's been "watching" me...but she asked me to "work" with her.
Two days later... two ladies stopped me as they were leaving the gym and I was on my way in to ask me how I've lost so much weight. Ok... I said "well.. not in a way I'd recommend normally". One lady then told me she has diabetes.. and the other one - well, I've seen her try to work out and I can tell she is in soooooo much pain. I'd say she's in her late 50's.. maybe early 60's. I told her that I can see that she is in pain and told her that I KNOW what it feels like. In July of last year, I was using a walker to get to the bathroom most of the time. I let her know that she's nowhere I haven't been.. both of them. I told them we would "talk".
Yesterday, a nice gentleman struck up a conversation with me. He told me the same thing "I've been watching you and it's amazing what you've done". He then told me he wants to lose 10 lbs and asked me how to do it! ahhhhhh
I really don't know what to think. I've been going to this place almost daily (except when I was in Jersey) since November... and no one ever talked to me. Weird, even the man who owns the concession came up to me today AS I was on the treadmill and started talking to me. Um... why now?
I've spent the last 2 years almost all but isolated... cut off. It's almost as if when I was 300 lbs, even though I took up a phenomenal amount of space, I was completely invisible. The more weight I lose, the more tangible I become?
I can't be the only person to experience this. Are people afraid that obesity is contagious and actually hoping that weight loss is contagious as well?
I'm in a holding pattern.... I don't want to say "GREAT. people to talk to", and I don't want to say "oh no.. people are talking to me".
I think that it is great that people are coming up to you and asking you for advice. But i like the remark that you made or he whole paragraph about how when you were bigger it was like you were cut off..that you were invisible..I feel like i am that way all the time..I feel that people can't be friends with me because I am overweight. And you made a good point..do they think that being obese is contagious?
But hey think of the positive you are being noticed And people see that you are losing and they want to lose too..Its kinda sad..it takes someone being smaller to even be noticed..
At least you are losing!!! :)
I can definitely validate what you are saying. "People can't be friends with me because I am overweight". I, for one, would like to know why... I would love to have had the opportunity to dispel the fear and misconceptions.
Sometimes I think that people have an innate tendency to look at others as if they were shopping! "Do I need that? Will that look good in my living room? How will this make my life easier? When people looked at me at 325 lbs.. they didn't see that they would derive any benefit from having a relationship with me. To be fair, at that size, I was very impaired. I think people look at very overweight people with the potential of being a burden to them.
Over the years I've heard all the usual.... lol.. like "fat people smell" "fat people are lazy"... What I've NEVER heard is "I can see that person is in pain", "I wonder if that person needs any help"... and that's a shame. Having had a brother who was about 400 lbs most of my teenage years and about 600 within the 5 years before he died, I never had the chance to form derragatory notions about heavy people and although when I was hearing those nasty statements, I was an average size... they always hurt me to hear them.
What makes anyone think that heavy people WANT to be heavy? It's beyond me....
It's very sad that people can be so shallow and closedminded!! There are very few people that have been skinny all their life..that would have the heart to think about the pain we go through..it seems that its the people that are big..or once were big...that can look at someone overweight and know the pain they are going through. I wonder at times what this world is coming to. As bad as it is...if someone didnt want to have something to do with me when I was overweight..the day that I am smaller..and they all of a sudden want to be my friend..i honestly don't know that they will be worth my time.. Is that harsh? I really don't think so!! None of us want to be big..and i dont think "fat" people are lazy..i hate the word fat people..big people aren't lazy..we'd love to go out and have fun but most of us are to embarrassed!!
And I am sorry to hear about your brother!! We all get to fight this battle each and everyday but we can get through this :)
I think that we avoid fat peeps is rather primal. I think the judgment, right or wrong, is that they are unhealthy.
I'll just speak for my own experience here. The very obese people in my life are, quite frankly, Life Suckers. They tend toward whiny and depressed - or on occasion, rather in your face "I'm fat and proud of it". It's hard to see that real person.
In all fairness, there are also thin Life Suckers in my life. I cannot abide by that type any longer. I will not be mean to anyone, but nor do I "owe" them anything. I did usta...could not walk away and let them draw me down.
Now, I have had obese friends who were great fun - when I too was obese and was more an eating buddy. I just cannot do that...for anyone.
And...I feel dissed also, at this weight. There is a certain genre that I do not belong in. I'm over it.
Just my two cents. I know what you mean, it is NOT fair, but who said life is?
This speaks to me - maybe it could be your calling? Your heart is in the gym, i can tell. I know this is not the point of your post, but it jumped out at me! Those folks felt comfortable to approach you.
Being in a gym, one will be watched, which is why, exactly, so many folks never would go there. It is out of many people's comfort zone, fer real. I think gym rats do study each other, if for no other reason but perhaps to validate what they are doing? I dunno. I tend to think that most people are so into their own issues and hangups, they do not have time to worry about YOU.
At the gym, however, IS the other type - one who comes up unsolicited and spreads it thick. All kinds make up our world. I would tell those folks the truth...hey gotta get rocking...no time to chat! ...then exit stage right!
Definitely off point: I have shared before that Susan Powter, of all people, was the first person who taught that looking at your form in the mirror as well as yes, looking at your body is vital.
Her statement really triggered positve things within me. I know I am way off topic here, but her book helped me look at my naked body and realize, hey i can work with this. The first time I looked across the room, squinting my eyes, like a dream sequence. LOL. After that, i began actually softening the lighting and looked at myself.
Back to OP (original point), yes, weight loss/gain truly IS contagious. hey, do share your experience. You Go Girl!!!!! Told you were changing!!!!
Wow, Neec... that post is all over the place.. lol You know me, I have the attention span of a carrot!!! lol
To be honest, the thought has crossed my mind..... the thought of working with folks but not just anyone. I have more of an interest in sharing anything I may have learned with others who are in the same boat I was in.... uncontrolled type II's who cannot lose weight.
