Just need to vent....(long)

Okay....so I go to my primary doctor today to get results of lab work.  He wasn't happy with my lipid profile or A1C last time and gave me the choice of WLS, Metformin, or trying it on my own for 3 months and seeing what I could do.  I was also supposed to increase my cholesterol medication from 20mg to 30mg (which I didn't do....I hate medication and want to take less, not more) Lab Values                     2/21/08                              6/19/08               Optimal A1C                                   6.1                                         6.1                    4.0-6.0 Glucose                            117                                       106                    60-99 Cholesterol                      183                                       173                   4.0-6.0 HDL  (good)                      39                                          44                     >40 Triglycerides                    192                                       184                     <150 LDL (bad)                          107                                         91                     <100 Weight                                278                                      266.4 Okay, so I know my sugar level's still high....but I've lost 12 F*&^&* lbs and my lipid profile is looking better (without the extra medication).  Now he tells me with being pre-diabetic, the LDL should be <70, as the plaque clumps together easier with the higher glucose levels.  He also wants to put me still on the Metformin.  I told him...."I can never please you" and burst into tears...bad day I guess.  (I had just been to the podiatrist and had a cortisone injection in my heel and was hurting like hell).  I agreed to take 30mg of my Simvastatin (up from 20mg) but refused the Metformin.  Oh, my blood pressure was 146/66 (high for me).  He was upset over that too cause when I was there 3 weeks ago for a sinus infection it was 108/56....no rhyme or reason to that one since I've lost weight.  I personally think he just had me upset and told him so.  He wanted to put me on another medication for that too.  I told him since it was so low 3 weeks ago, that didn't make much sense and I would monitor it for a few weeks and let him know what it was doing.  God, nurses make horrible patients!! I've attended the informational seminar for WLS and gave him the paperwork to fill out for that to start the process going (explaining to him that with my insurance this is a long procedure and I was hoping to have taken off enough weight by the time I got a surgery date to not have it be necessary....last resort).  Well he didn't feel I should do that if I wasn't gonna go ahead with the surgery.  I told him, it was HIS IDEA!!  He filled out the papers...when it came to the question, "Is this patient generally compliant with medication and treatment recommendations?" he read it out loud to me.  I told him, laughingly..."knew you'd have a problem with that one!".  He said as long as it said GENERALLY, he would mark YES.  I'll have more blood work done in September and return to see him 10/7. So normally, being this upset and it being 12:30 and I was starving, I would have just stuffed all those feelings with a Whopper with Cheese and fries on the way home.  Have to explain that I'm attending (two sessions so far) a bariatric group behavioral therapy session that is offered here at one of the local hospitals.  I figured if I ever do go through with WLS, I need to address the reason I turn to food for everything and change my behaviors prior....sure won't be able to use food after the surgery.  So, I came home, got out my notebook and practiced some of these new found skills and managed to not stuff all the emotions with food.  Guess something good came of it after all. Sorry so long.....just needed to get that all out of my system (journaling is another of the skills).

Aww Sherrie ((HUGGS)) Sounds like your having a really bad day.  First of all I hope your foot starts feeling better.  Will what they did today improve it any?   I sure hate you having to go through pain like that.  That right there can make your stress level shoot up, hence b/p.  I know when my leg is hurting my stress level skyrockets. Shame on  him for wanting to put you on bp pills just because of today.  Good for you for standing up for yourself on that one.  A doctor told me that once, and I just looked at her and said, I'm pissed, I'm really really pissed today.  So she let it go.  lol Don't think she wanted to further that discussion after I said that.  But then she did say IF it kept it up I would need to get on something.  I really wonder if they think drugs are a cure for everything.  My doc pushes them all the time.  My dh wanted some kind of drug a while back.  I told him all I had to do was make a phone call and he would give it to me over the phone.  It really is ridiculous. Hang in there, YOU know your doing your best.  And it is showing in your lab work.  Bah humbug to that doc.  You should be proud of yourself.  You could have gained over this past three months and you haven't.  You've improved!

Oh honey... I know what it's like to break down in a doctor's office.   I understand everything you are saying too.   What I think you needed here is some kudos from your doctor for the strides you have made in improving your health.... for making the changes you have made, and for your desire to continue to improve...even if it means going for the surgery.  Your doctor, of all people, should understand that you see this as a LAST RESORT, not an instant fix.  I admire you for seeing it this way rather than being of the mindset that "oh.. no problem.. I'll just go get WLS and fix this".   Give yourself an "atta girl" for the way you handled this (by getting out your notebook instead of pulling in the drive through).

 

 

You don't whine much about your foot problems...once again, i forgot that you have issues. That right there is hard to reckon with when a body our age is trying to drop weight.  1.  No way should you take BP meds - not yet! OMG, they watched mine at 140-150 over 86 for a few YEARS before I got treatment. You are baby stage at this point. I do know that perhaps at your age, they want to cut stroke risk - and for the low risk of taking those meds, eh, maybe you should consider it, but give it more time. 2.  CONGRATS on not running to food. Every time we win a small battle like that, it does make us stronger.  3.  You are right...and Jerz said it earlier...you do seem to have some unresolved eating issues and yeah, for real, that needs to be pounded out with or without WLS.  4.  Prediabetes (and there are those who say that is like being a little pregnant) would scare the holy sh*t outa me and I know you know its implications.  5.  Which leads me to finally, WLS would be in the forefront of my mind if I were you. I'd seriously consider doing it, all the while working on my eating issues. We've already talked about it:  I know you're scared, me too. May come a day for me, too, Sherrie! A diagnosis like diabetes might put me over the edge.  Blessings, and basically, you are hanging tuf. Be proud!!!!!

Thanks for the kind words and support, guys....much appreciated. I just wanted him to validate today that I had made some positive changes with some positive results!  And he was just telling me that it wasn't good enough!  I told him I battle with this weight thing every freakin day of my life for the past 50 years (started my first diet at age 11).  If I didn't have some accountability for what I put in my mouth every day I would weigh 400lb easily.  I DO TRY!! Just to clear something up....I have been on BP medication for about 15-20 years....seems like forever.  He wanted to ADD to it.  No way, when my blood pressure usually runs under 120/70....today was a fluke.  (For an example of what a stickler he is...went with my mom to the same MD last week and her BP was 136/72 and he was gonna increase her medication because he likes to keep it at under 135.) I know, the diabetes thing scares me too.  Really need to keep my carbs to all of the good ones...fruit, veggies, occasional whole grains. Who knows, I may just decide on the WLS route....at this age it scares me....wish I had done it 20 years ago.

well yeah, you would think he would have thrown you a bone.  12# is 12#, a sack of taters plus! And your readings are coming down, he is ingracious there.

I know you went through a lot today but you came out like a pro by not eating out of stress!  I know you have to be so proud. I was impressed, Mary

Thanks, Mary! I was proud of myself too, and as Neecee says....these little triumphs make us stronger one by one.  Made it through another day staying within my points....one day at a time.

My diagnosis 3 years ago of diabetes is what put me over to the decision to have WLS. I did try to control it first with diet and then got it more or less under control with Metformin. Then I started getting prescriptions for cholesterol reducing meds and high blood pressure meds and finally had enough. I also take acid reducers and have for years. I am plain tired of having to take all these prescription drugs and want to get healthier before its too late. I am 51 years old. I will have to take nutritional supplements for the rest of my life but I may get to quit taking all the other drugs I am taking now. I know its going to be a lot of changes for me and I have to relearn how to eat but for me its my right thing to do. Take your time deciding what is right for you. Something will work and you will find it.

Thanks, Ann and good luck with your surgery!  I wish I'd done it 20 years ago, but scared to do it now.  how did you like the Metformin?  I really don't want another drug and my doctor said it might make me "jittery" and I can't stand that feeling.