Venting to keep me from eating anymore tonight!

Ok....  so I guess I wasn't very contented today.. (not that I am ANY day), but today, I settled my issues with FOOD!  I haven't done this in a long time and I don't want to keep eating tonight so I'm just gonna vent!   Ok.. so the day started with me feeling quite dizzy when I awoke.  I stumbled into the shower with a hot cup of coffee and ran out to get to the gym on time.  I had to be there an hour before training to get my cardio in and I was like 10 minutes late. Ok.. so I worked out and went to Wallyworld, came home and started to pick up.  The nightshirt I threw on the bathroom floor before I left was NOW covered in ants!  Apparently an ant problem developed while I was away....  so now I'm fighting the little buggers.   I found them in my med closet in the kitchen which made me squeamish about popping a couple of Bayers.  I sprayed the closet out with ant spray... waited a bit then sprayed it out with cleaner and cleaned it all up.  I replaced the shelf liner with new stuff.. put everything back.. and a half an hour later they were back.  Then I found them in the dish closet... then on the counter.  I cleaned the place to within an inch of it's life and STILL... ANTS~! Ok.. so I went outside to take my mind off of it.  I was gardening out there in a pair of bathing trunks and a sports bra.. figured I'd work on the tan.  I blew out old leaves and blew off the porch while I was at it.  Dragged the tiller out to dig in more of the big garden.  I planted more tomatoes and squash.. lay down about 8 bags of mulch, weeded the gardens, planted petunias in my hanging baskets on the porch... and managed to run over the hose that's connected somehow to the air conditioner.. WITH the TILLER!  Ok.. so it kinda flooded out there, but the horrible part is that the air stopped working and the house hit 90!   In the meantime, I just ate.  I ate and ate.  I went back for more stea**** and eggs, ATE my dinner (2 chicken thighs), then had a hot dog with mustard (no bun), 2 slices of roast beast, and this cheesecake thingie kinda sorta.  I've had about 3 bottles of diet snapple, 3 pots of coffee (some cups had whipped cream in 'em) and now I'm so stuffed... but BORED... so I'm afraid I'll eat again. I spent about 20 minutes on the phone with my little ****roach, took a cold shower to shake off the heat.. and was BORED and uncomfortable all evening. I'm super pissy tonight... not wanting to be here but not having the courage to go anywhere else... My cat bit me.  (probably a love bite but it doesn't feel that way). and I am NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT BEING JUST ME AGAINST AN ARMY OF ANTS TOMORROW!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr NO FOOD NO FOOD NO FOOD.. Oh.. and ps... I got on the scale and went from 204 - 210.5.  I'm never going to see Onederland at this rate.  :(

Lori, Simply put...LIFE SUCKS!!!  Now that we have established that, move on. One thing at a time and it will all go away in time. I would be more pissed off about the A/C that the ants. The A/C can be costly to fix. The ants are just annoying as all hell.  The good news? This, too, shall pass. It will just annoy the hell out of you til it does.  What do I know? I know food is not the answer. Finding something to beat the **** out of...yeah, now that helps. lol Good luck hunny and let us know how it all turns out. Beth ((((((Lori))))))

You are such a go getter.  You don't depend on a man to do anything for you.  Good for you. We all have those days and like always they will pass.  We've had an ant problem around here too, especially in our storage shed.   

You are doing wonderfully with your weight loss. 

Brenda

 

 

Honey I am so sorry that you had a bad day!!  This to shall pass.  Log it, and move on.  You will do better today!!  I am sure of it.  We all have those days.  I hope that you can get passed it and move on.  Hugs to you for having such a bad time of it.  I am feeling for you.  Damn the ants!!!

Thank you for your words of encouragement.. Unfortunately, I had another bad day with food... it's almost like I want to say "well.. who cares".  I don't want to go back to being over 300 lbs, but I've already seen a couple of pounds creep back up on me. Why do I do the things I don't want to do and despise the things I should do. I hope I get up the gumption to do a meat and egg fast.... I dunno... I just don't FEEL like it anymore. I managed to put in the seeds for green beans and sunflowers today....  wowee.. big woof...  I have an early appt at the gym with my trainer...  kinda don' t really feel like doing that either............................................................................................................................................................................................ and how do I get back to doing the do?  hmmm...   is it over?  Has this past year worn me down? Who knows.. Lori

Oh my honey.  Don't talk liket hat.  Don't get discouraged please.  You can do this!!!  You can get back into it. Forget about it and move on sweetie. Please please don't get discouraged.  You can do it.  We are here to help you.  Don't eat the stuff!!!

"Why do I do the things I don't want to do and despise the things I should do." Hmm..  Sounds like Paul. :) We all suffer from it.  I too had a very bad day yesterday. I'm wanting to eat everything in sight and I have been.  I don't think this is it for you. You're not done. If you were then you wouldn't be venting and trying your best to fight it. You'd be in there eating right now without a second thought if it was all over for you. You've had days like this in the past and you pull it together.  I'm positive you will again.

Can we say "DAY THREE SUCKS AS WELL". I ate all night last night for some stupid reason... I just wish I knew why.  I used to have such will power.  So now I'm back up to 212... isn't that just freakin' LOVELY! I went to the gym.. only did 45 minutes of cardio before my hip just gave in...   I started with my trainer and gave up about 30 minutes into it.  I'm supposed to go tomorrow.. but if I don't get through a session, why bother paying for it!  Well, I do have a month's worth of credits because I took off in April just after I paid him. So.. here I am home again.. laying on the couch...  I walked in and made 2 stea**** with an egg and put whipped cream in my coffee. Yanno.. I woudln't mind eating if I were actually hungry.. but I'm NOT. I got 2 new kitties yesterday and they already christened my rug.. isn't that freakin' wonderful?  I was up all night listening to the big one hiss and spit at the little ones.  I don't think I have the patience for kitties anymore.  I think I'll get rid of all three of 'em.. even the big guy. I don't know how to get back on track... I just don't know how.  I've never gone off the deep end this badly.

Sounds to me like you're dealing with some emotional stuff right now.  I bet that you eating is a form of self-medication. Everything seems to be going wrong lately for you and who could blame you for feeling down about it.  Try to reflect on what's happened over the last month or so and see if you can connect all of it with your eating. Address it and figure out a way to make yourself feel better without eating. I feel ya on the new cat thing. We have a new kitten and a new dog. While they get along great the 'big cat' doesn't like either of them and hisses alllllllll the time.  Irritates the crap out of me because she just makes noise and is anti-social. Ahh well.. She's always been a ***** At least the kitten is paying her back for us. :)

Well Chrissy.... In my experience.. there are better ways of self-medicating!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....   thank GOD I'm not in Jersey since the GWB is just a zip up the highway. I think I'm just bored.  I don't want to clean the house.. I don't want to garden.. I don't want to go to the gym .. and even though I'm just laying here, I don't want to do that either. My big cat is now hissing at ME!  He's scary!  I think I want them all out!  I don't want to clean up after myself.. nevermind these freakin' cats. The only thing I feel DoWN about is the FAT that's on my ASS and my lack of desire to do anything about it anymore.  I didn't make my goal cause my lazy ass couldn't take care of everyone else and STILL take care of me.  I don't want to get a job looking like this.... but right now I don't even give a sh*t. I think I'm about to give ...  only 3 days back in the gym and I don't want to do it anymore.  It's too much of a pain in the ass to rush the frig around in the morning to make Jon's meals while trying to get myself out the door.   It's just too much.   I'm supposed to go to the eye doctor today..... guess I better cancel that... I dunno.. just ignore me, I'll go away....