Update...

I left my sister in the care of 3 other sisters and I took off for Iowa a week and a half or so ago.  I drove straight back to SC.. got in around 2:00am from 6:00am.  Ran from tornados in Iowa, floods in Missouri, horrific rains in Kentucy, traffic in Tennessee and a blackout in Atlanta.... was a hell of a ride. I got back and jumped on the scale.. EVEN with the traveling (those who know me are aware I gain massive amounts of fluid on long trips), I was at 204.  I'm getting very close to Onderland. I'll be looking for a job soon.  For the heck of it I applied at the Casino.  They had nothing available in the office but an opening for a dealer.  I thought it would be a good place to get my feet wet.  Of course, I left Iowa and I do have an offer here in SC, but it's two weeks training in Ft. Lauderdale, and I don't know if I'm up to getting on the road again. I don't know what's going to happen, but I simply need to leave it in God's capable hands.  It's really quiet and lonely here without my daughter.. and my heart is definitely aching.  I don't think I'm going to do so well with the empty nest thing................ but first .... I have to keep in mind that food is not my comfort.  The Lord is my comfort.. We shall see what we shall see! Lori 310/204/180

Great to hear from you Lori. I am so glad you are getting some "me" time. I think you definitely needed it. You are sounding soooo much more confident about yourself. That is wonderful to see and hear. What an awesome thing for you.  The empty nest thing. I totally understand. I have an 18 yr old right now and while I want to see her spread her wings, I am TOTALLY freaked out and scared for her and saddened for me because I have to let her make her own decisions and know when to NOT step in. She's in no hurry to move out but we all know that can change with the drop of a hat. I'm just holding my breath waiting for the shoe to fall. You know tho, my mom has often said, "God only loaned them to us for a time. They were never meant to remain in our protective arms. So comes the day we have to let go and let God." Love ya, Lori. I am so glad to hear you sounding happy and your weight still going down. Regardless what you think, we all know you are a strong, confident woman and God will show you what to do with those traits. You just need to open your heart and listen. Beth

Lor, It (past, present, future) is, as you know, always in God's hands! And, with Honorable Mention, you will deal with whatever is laid before you.  The past cannot be changed, of course, but God had His hand in it, whatever the choices were that prod us all today with guilt as somehow against His will.  But I accept that, %#^ed up as my choices may have been, it was for a reason. If nothing else, the outcome represents the sum total of the person I am today. My series of choices will be a guide for another person finding her way! Just so ya know, when my girls left me, it was a physical pain for me too. In fact, I knew years before they left of that pain. Be happy for her. She so needs for you to get whole, happy for her own best case development. Can you begin to fathom that? It's hard, but our daughters want all the same things for us that we desire for them! Lori, I am so glad you got home okay - wow what weather! Loving you, baby!

Glad you made it through your trip....sounds like you should have been "storm chasing" for the Weather channel! Good for you in being so close to onederland!  What a journey, and it hasn't even been a year.  Your perseverance is inspiring.   As far as the job, Lori...you'll make the right decisions, with God's guidance.  Glad you're considering that...will help with the adjustment to being an "empty nester". As for your daughter, (are you home now or back in NJ?....I'm confused) sounds like it's time for her to spread her wings and fly too.  Isn't that our hopes and dreams for them all along....so they can be happy, successful, independent beings and go forth to make their own mistakes...LOL?  It certainly is an adjustment...I remember those days. Blessings...Sherrie