Why do I sabotage myself all the time?

Hi guys

Since my holiday in the beginning of May, I can not seem to get back on track. I just keep doing wrong stuff, eating wrong foods and even having binges. WHY do I keep sabotaging myself? I am intelligent enough to realize that it is harmful to my health goals, but I dgo ahead and do it anyway. Some days I wake up and I know that it will be a bad day. It seems like I need to feel 'full' for some reason.

I did start seeing a psychotherapist to sort out my eating problem. Only been once so far. But I reckon even if I do decide to have surgery one day, I should have this sorted beforehand.

I am starting a job next week, maybe that will help to get more structure in life.But it will also bring more feelings of stress and guilt (because of leaving the kids, asking so much of mum (who babysits), not doing enough in the house etc)

Now suergery right now is not an option, because our newly built home will be finished in october. So getting surgery in september is prob not a good idea. If I do have surgery it would be beginning 2009. So untill then I must give it my BEST try to do without!

Do any of you guys have those sabotage problems?

Love from holland

Carina

Sabotage problems.....FOR SURE!! I have a history of over 50 years of such.  Haven't figured it out yet.....fear of success?  feeling that I'm not worthy of success?  Who knows? I too feel it is something I need to delve into prior to successful WLS, cause if I try to sabotage that, I'm really asking for some problems. No answers, sorry....but I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

Carina, I did have for many years. If I had to tie how I handled it into a few pretty sentences, it's this:   I reframed my mind and got less drama-queen about making "less than" choices. I came WAAAAY off it to beat myself up at every turn. I reasoned that I do LOTS of things right, too. I will NEVER be perfect.  I also stopped screwing up the whole day over ONE dum meal or piece of cake.  II would (hopefully) enjoy the food at least, then MOVE ON.  The next meal or snack can be better for my goals. I even stopped trying to "right" the boat - like having a plate of veggies if I had a piece of cake.  I just try to eat the way i planned out the next meal or snack and bump over my choice i was not happy with. I began to try to learn from those episodes by self examination and then coming up with each mini-solution. Was it because I got too hungry? Usually. Was i eating imbalanced? Try eating less grains and more protein and more good fats in my in-between meals.  I made better plans for most days on the optimum foods I needed to reach my goals. I did go to a bariatric doctor to learn about portable lean protein foods which became a solution for my busy work day. I bring fruits & veggies with me to work and parties. If the food is not grabbale, i will eat what is there and it usually is not fare that helps me (high cal, high sugar, bad fats). I replaced negative habits with better ones.  If I saw the pattern of busting thru the door after work and leaping into boxes of crackers, I made different plans:  go for a walk after work, go outside and water the garden, do yoga, open a diet coke and put a lemon in it, practice music. Being home with kiddos is Hard.  Preparing food for them when you're trying to eat less and usually differnt foods, hard to exercise, etc.  Cut yourself slack now, but do keep getting back up and rearranging how you do things until you can find your key to unlocking being healthier 80-90% of the time.

Geeze Carina, it doesn't sound like sabotage to me...it seems like you need help with stress management.  That's a lot that you have to deal with and no time to plan your meals for healthy eating.  Add to that stress eating and you can't help but be off of your game.  But I'm sure your therapist may have said something about this by now.  I hope things calm down for you and your feelings of guilt about 'everything' don't get the better of you. Mary