Hitting rock bottom

I think I'm there.... "rock bottom" that is.   Thiings are just caving in... no- they HAVE caved in... and I can (hopefully!) just move UP from here! ("UP" meaning DOWN in the weight category!!) So ya'll know about my preggo almost 21 y/o... things are going GREAT so far. Though she is staying with us right now- she is starting her 4th month now and she got to hear the heartbeat last apt. That was pretty cool.  She lost her job a few days after we returned from vacation in early March- but is now working for a hotel here. She is a "maid" but they pay well and she's getting some good hours in since it's now tourist season! From there she goes to sit her friends 2 kids till 11 p.m. so she is able to get some $$$ in the bank as she's staying here with us. Older dd has had to get the police involved to get her soon to be EX dh to STOP stalking her. That has continues to be VERY ugly! But she is completely IN her apt and is ENJOYING her FREEDOM from him.  We lost a great kid here on Mother's day... our friends lost their 16 y/o son to a 22 caliber hunting rifle. Just a nasty horrific FREAK accident that has turned everyones lives upside down. Jacob was buried yesterday and now it's time to start living without his beautiful smile around. His family is completely broken- as any family would be :(    I have to say though, the service was absolutely UNREAL!  The kids in our shop class, with the help of the teacher, pastor and a few other adults built the most FABULOUS casket- in ONE WEEK....  it was a yellow seder BOAT (skiff). Jake LOVED to be in his skiff and they built him a skiff to "sail off in".  VERY touching. I have been under the weather some for several days. Just not feeling well AT ALL. Sore throat-  Ds had a sore throat last Thur. and was SURE it was strep- so had him to the Dr. and they said it was just a viral bug- not strep! Since my sore throat began only about 2 days later- I figured it was the same- and masked it with eating 800mg Ibuprofin several times a day etc. Made it through the weekend, then the funeral yesterday. BUT, I went to the "celebration" after the service and all of a sudden I felt BAD!  Stayed only about 20 minutes- came home- took more Ibuprofin and felt horrible!   Mother-in-law was here and told me I looked like HELL! I looked at my throat with a flashlight and could NOT BELIEVE it!  I'm no Dr., but it looks like the worst case of STREP that I've ever seen!             So, I had to cancel my work for another day.... made some folks ANGRY! And will be dropping the kids off to school this a.m. and getting to the Dr ASAP!  I've slept very little all night. My neck, throat, ears and even areas of my FACE hurt!  I'm actually going to ask for a SHOT to get my pushed ahead a bit! On a PLUS side of this- there was a spread of food that you would NOT BELIEVE at the "celebration" yesterday- and I had not ONE BITE!  We were also suppose to go to a barbeque at their home after.... didn't go.  The rest of the family went to a barbeque at brother-in-laws house in celebration of niece graduating tomorrow.... not me (though I DID eat a little salad AND the cake from plates brought home) Anyhow- I feel like crap! I even ate a stupid piece of CAKE for breakfast... mostly cause I'm MISERABLE and just did not care. So anyhow, I consider this day at "ROCK BOTTOM". I feel like CRAP!  When I'm done here- I want to feel GOOD again and I'm going to work HARDER at getting healthy- including my weight loss. Life is to short Guess I'll see my TRUE weight at the Dr today. WHY do they have to WEIGH us... when we are really just going in for freakin STREP THROAT????

LOL...I had a friend who would straight up refuse to get on the scale...she would say I'm here for a sore throat, not my fat@ss.  Strep is awful, it sure does sound like you have it.

 

My God, that skiff story for your friend's son has me about in tears. How beautiful.

Wow, lot of stress in your life.  I know how overwhelmed you can feel with such stressors; remember, I closed a business, started a job, joined the gym, lost the job, was unemployed for months, now work 65 miles away.... All I can say is that through that stress I chose to look at exercise as not a chore, but a relief and time for me.  As for food, it depends on whether this stress makes you eat too much or eat the wrong thing.  For me, I've just come to accept what food fits in my lifestyle, what doesn't, and I don't feel bad about small indulgences.  You don't need to add guilt on top of the stress.

"Anyhow- I feel like crap! I even ate a stupid piece of CAKE for breakfast... mostly cause I'm MISERABLE and just did not care." Maybe find an alternative that address the desire but does less harm?

Awww mama, I hope you get some killer pills soon and it knocks that yucky feeling right out of ya.  You sound just miserable, I felt like I was sick just reading your post!  Take care of yourself today and don't let those angry parents get in your way of good health. :)    If your not healthy, who's gonna watch THEIR kids! Sleep lots today, and hope you feel better tomorrow. (((HUGGGS)))

Thanks guys... yeah, it's strep. The doc gave me 750mg Amox so hopefully it'll knock it out QUICK! I have felt so crappy ALL DAY :( Tried eating a few beer bits (halibut) and it felt like my throat was being RIPPED from my neck! OUCH! Course, what kind of IDIOT would dip it in KETCHUP when their throat is raw?!  I got on the scale at the Dr and nearly DIED! Fully clothed I weighed 198 :(  I wanted to CRY!  I ALWAYS weigh myself butt naked so I know some was my clothing BUT... I have seen 186 in the past couple months... but been bouncing around 191-193. That was TOOO FREAKIN CLOSE to 200!!!    My BP was 100/150 but he said he's not to worried since I walked in there miserably sick :) Anyway- I'll get my s%$t together. I just need to get myself healthy and get my self together. It's a must. I have another grand baby coming in December! I gotta get healthy.

Glad you got your diagnosis and drugs....hope you're feeling a whole lot better real soon.  Don't worry, you'll get back on track again.  You'll probably lose weight not being able to eat with that sore throat anyway (although ice cream feels good).  Just kidding...don't go there.