SABOTAGE.....Why do I do this to myself?

Haven't been participating much the last couple of weeks...just lurking....always a bad sign for me.  I got down to 263 two weeks ago and in the last two weeks have managed to gain 8 lbs!!!!  What is it with me?  Just looked at my graph, and it had taken me ELEVEN weeks to lose those 8lbs and now they're back again?  WTF? I have such a hard time getting below 260!  What frightens me away when I'm being successful?  I'm joining a 16 week behavioral therapy group and hoping that will give me some alternatives for using food as a crutch for everything.  I definitely need some help. I know what to eat...and go right ahead and make the conscious decision to eat what I know doesn't work...then get caught up in the cravings and the rest is history.  Have to put an end to this yo-yoing...not good for my health and I have to get this weight off once and for all.  I'm beginning to wonder if I can do this without WLS, but this group is part of the preparation for that.  I'm such an emotional eater and use food for EVERYTHING....scared what I may turn to if I'm not able to have the food after surgery...hence this group.  It can't hurt...that's for sure. Meantime, gonna try and get this food back on track (any track)....be accountable here as to what I'm eating and increase my activity.  Joining the Y on 5/31 and will be doing the water aerobics several times/week.  Now have a heel spur as well as the knee problems and walking is almost impossible.  Feeling old and fat and disgusted....not a good combo!

So glad you stopped lurking and started posting!! It sounds like you know exactly what you need to do. Your off to a really good start by recognizing those emotional triggers and joining the Y. It took me until a few months ago to finally realize that I was overeating at any and all moods UPs and DOWNS. I wish I had a solution for that, but honestly just owning it has been a big help in stopping myself in the moment. Best of luck to you!

Thanks....hope it gives me some insight.  I've spent a lifetime doing this and would love to find some answers!

We've had this type of discussion before around here:  what is the payoff for staying fat? I think it is an intriguing question. For me, "success"  is a case of making sure i consume foods that minimize cravings:  higher lean protein, moderate levels of good fats, leafy greens are key. When I do a good job of eating that stuff, the less nutritious stuff (hi bad fat, hi sugar) just does not call out to me as it once did.  And I make sure I move every day - whether i "feel like it" or not, it is not an option to skip it. No more than I would not do up my hair or brush my teeth - that's how ingrained I feel about moving around.  What's great bout your plan to join a 3D group AND post here is:  when we announce or know we will report our intentions, it does help to then stick to it.  Sherry, at our ages, WLS is a pretty viable option.  At least, the initial bunch of weight will come down and as you recognize, then you still have that wide open chance to control your old behaviors. I talk tough...not sure I would have ever had the guts to do wls in the end. LOL It is a big decision.

Just keep posting & talking about how you are feeling.  It is SO incredibly hard to fight this battle non-stop.  Take in all the support you can get.  Look forward, there is just no sense beating yourself up over a couple of bad weeks.  Hang in there!!

Yes...it's a huge decision and like I've said before, being a nurse and having a little knowledge is  a dangerous thing.  LOL I am going through the process though, as if I am going to proceed with the surgery and figure I may learn something in the process.  I will attend the monthly support group meetings, meet with the nutritionist and psychologist and do whatever they suggest and do this group therapy thing.  I have always been one for being as informed as possible.  Just hope by the time the whole process is done and I am close to a surgery date that I will have found some answers and strategies for myself and won't need that "tool".

I wanna go! :)  Good for you in taking a class like that.  Wish I could find something like that around here.  You need to nick those eight pounds in the bud Sherrie before it sticks to ya.  If it's only been on for a couple of weeks it probably won't take that long to get them off.  But if you don't do it now, they will be forever on your hips!  That is how it is for me any way, you might be able to get it off within a couple of weeks.  We're a lot alike, no surprise to you I know ;) , think we both need to work on our WILLPOWER.  I know I've been working at it.  It's like a take all or nothing type situation.  You start nibbling on something, then it becomes the same every meal, every snack.  Think we need some tough love!  That right there has always been my only way I can stick to something, don' t eve nibble a crumb.  That is where I think the class you are taking will come in handy.  You'll have to email me on them, I'm very interested in hearing what they have to say. Last night I was craving chocolate or some kind of baked goodies something fierce.  lol I was searching everywhere in the store for a min size of any kind of chocolate.  I never found any!  I was so mad, but thankfully the urge went away.  And thank God dh was with me so I couldn't sneak a regular size bar.  Well Sherrie, slap your hands, put the cookies away or better yet throw them out!   You need to get back on track with me.  You want to see those beautiful grand babies of yours grow up!  And at least an extra ten years on your life.  Start emailing me again.  I'm back in the game once again so maybe we won't sabotage each other!LOL  And one more thing, stop thinking you can't do this, because you CAN!  So....today's Saturday, DON't wait until Monday,  I know your tricks. :) hehe  TODAY...TODAY...TODAY....TODAY... Holly

I did not say it right in my post, but I wanted to say - Willpower is fleeting! It may last long enough to go out and buy all the right things, or make the decision to ry an approach, but it can only get us by in short spurts. ...making plans and then doing them is what creates outsomes! Having all the right foods at your home, having the better kinds of food with you when you are out and about, scheduling your day so that exercise can happen.

 

Holly, you used good words - we can and we will do this.

WOOT! Yes we can, as I frantically munch on an apple wanting something else.lol  I just got to say I'm such in a GOOD mood today. I took meds early on before the pain started.  I went garage selling alone (remember I'm a loner), cranked up the toons, the sun is out, and it's  a beautiful day!  I just feel so happy today! :) I'm considering taking a walk along the inlet downtown if my chest allows me too.  I'm just scared to try it, afraid I will fail.  I'm in too good of a mood for breathing problems to start up.  It just irks me that I have such trouble breathing while I'm walking outside, but not inside.  Strange eh?  Think it's a combo between my fat around my lungs and my allergies???!?! I have been wanting to self teach myself how to play the guitar.  My dh thinks I need a hobby, think that's his way of telling me I'm in his hair.haha  Well I found myself one and a little one for the kids for $35 bucks, in perfect condition!  I'm esctatic, and we are now strumming away without knowing what the heck we are doing. hehe

I am sooooo happy for you!  I can hear your enthusiasm in your post and feel it too.  I think it's amazing how differently we feel about ourselves when we are ON TRACK (or whatever you want to call it).  The scale can say the same ugly number as always, but if we're actively on plan and being proactive, our attitude toward the whole world is so different, so positive.  I have experienced this many times myself and it never ceases to amaze me. I plan on being in that positive mindset myself here soon and will look forward to the results and the pounds coming off once again.  Keep on strumming!!