any good blogs?

Hi all! Anyone have a dieting or weight loss blog that is a must read? Here is one that I really enjoy reading.  http://www.dietgirl.org/dietgirl/ (keep in mind this is a written by a women living in the )

lol one thing...what is a wonkey drawer??  lol I found it in the comment section of the story.  Of course that is where I would find some kind of remark.  I've been getting a kick out of hearing new words from you guys across the world.  Todays new word..."wonkey drawer".  Couple days ago it was "lolli bag" from Em.  hehe  I just love it!  I have GOT to get over there some day. Lately it has become a nightly tradition that my husband and I discuss my new word of the day. hahaha

http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com is very cute.  I adore reading people's blogs all over OH website - hard to find the time to do it. In my next life, i want to be Oprah - I love how she features life stories of just every day people.  I'll keep thinking and post more. There's one I used to read called Bike Naked, I think - again, found it thru OH.

omg!  Diet Girl is fabulous!  I am buying her book.  I had to share this post for all you newcomers who feel so very desparate. here is one of her first blog posts (if you are not crying by the time you read all of this, you may be out of tears, get checked,  how beautiful.  Remember, she goes on to lose half her body weight, from what it appears, on WW!):

I am no stranger to WW, having tried it no less than five times before. But that's a saga I'll save for another day. This time round I was terrified, because I knew how huge I was. Not just overweight anymore, but obese.

The place was so packed tonight. It felt like the whole city had made LOSE WEIGHT their New Years Resolution. And I quickly noticed that I was definitely the heaviest person in the room. I am getting used to that now. Urgh.

Anyway. I looked at the scale they had and I knew I weighed more than it's capacity. This was my worst nightmare. I was just like those Super Fat people you see on A Current Affair, and they have to be weighed on super scales they use for cattle, or maybe at a Heavy Vehicle weighing station. I told my sister I was too big for the scale. She suggested we wait til the end to get weighed, until after the meeting was finished.

The lecturer was really nice. I've had my share of dull and uninspiring ones, but this lady seems great. Very motivating. I felt that it would all be okay.

Then the meeting ended and they had to keep weighing the new people, there was that many of us. I waited right til the end after my sister was weighed and I felt my stomach churning with dread. The weighing lady was smiling, told me to hop on, but I told her that I thought I was too big for the scale. She looked surprised, probably because while I look very overweight, my height kinda disguises just how very heavy I am.

So she had to get the leader to come over and they had to add a special weight to the scale to increase its capacity to 160 kilos. My face was burning with shame. I felt so hideous up there. I must have looked like hell, coz the weigh lady said, "You look like you're about to crack up, don't worry, we're here to help you!". Of course their kindness made me feel even worse and I felt the tears start to come. I can't begin to describe how humilitaing it is, being so huge you're unweighable.

Finally they got it to balance, and the Leader looked at me and I started to cry. I couldn't help it. I just felt like utter **** I hated me so much at that moment.

"I'm not going to tell you what the scale read," she said. "I will write it down and we won't worry about goal weights or anything for now. You made the big step coming here tonight and let's just take it slowly from here."

She and the weigh-lady and her assistant and my sister were all looking at me with sympathy and pity and I just felt sick inside. I know they were being kind but I didn't feel like being kind to me at that point. I was so huge she didn't even want to tell me how much I weighed. I knew I was on the verge of full-on sobbing so I went over into the corner and hid. The lecturer came over and gave me a hug and told me it would be okay, it would get there, blah blah blah. But all I could think about was how ugly and hideous I am, how much I have to lose, I felt so overwhelmed. I couldn't speak to her, only to say "sorry" over and over.

They were such lovely people, really. I especially liked the two weigh girls. Laughing all the time, cracking jokes, giving out little pearls of wisdom to the ladies. And young. I'd say late twenties, early thirties at the most. That's quite a pleasant change from my previous experiences, where all the people were middle-aged housewives who I couldn't relate to at all.

They kept reminded me that I'm not on my own this time. They are here to help. And I have my sister and we're going to do it together. She is a legend. Sibling support network!

But still, I cried in the car all the way home. Pretty pathetic huh? My sister kept reminding me that tonight was the toughest night, it would all be much better after this. Must be positive.

Yeah, I knew that. But I saw my weight on that card. 159.2 kilograms. That's 351 pounds. I needed to lose more than half of my body to be considered healthy. I'm scared, I'm disgusted and I can't believe I let it get this far.

But I am determined not to fail this time. I don't want to feel as bad as I felt tonight ever again. So here I am telling the world all about it. Wish me luck... please?

Oh how I relate to this. When I first started on here, I was just two days out from my first dr's visit in 5 years for ANY reason. I was scared ****less of everything but most of all I was scared of the sale because I KNEW I weighed more than it's capacity. I weighed 373 pounds the last time I had jumped on a local landscaping firms scale when no one was looking. I was mortified.  My dr's office agreed not to weigh me until I was ready. I set my mind to fitting on the scale before my next visit with my pcp. I did it, too. That was the BEST feeling I have ever had in my life. It didn't matter that it was barely under 350 (349 to be exact), I fit on the scale without special modifications of any sort. That first day I cried and was so embarrassed and today 44 pounds lighter, I smile with delight because I know I did this. I am on my way and I impress myself now. It is such an awesome feeling to be proud of yourself.  Never lose hope, you can change those things you choose to take control of once you decide to stop letting them control you.

N- I thought of you when I posted that link!  I really thought you might like it. I'm also ordering her book in a couple weeks! -------------------------------------------- Diet Girl is about 7 years into her dieting. She has lost more than half of her body weight through old fashion diet and exercise. If anyone goes back to some of her early posts in 2001 you'll see she is nothing short of a genius in phrasing the pain of losing massive amounts of weight. Her 2008 posts are often about "how I love my all veggie diet, and how I love to walk 20 miles today", but honestly go back to 2001-2005 and it's amazing. Here is another post that just hit close to home for me. ------------------------------------------

March 05, 2001

Only The Lonely

I had the most pathetic weekend. The only word for it is "wallowed". I wallowed. My sister was working nights so I spent most of the time on my own, alone with my brain that never stops thinking. If I happen to get into a good mood my brain goes, "Well this is no fun for me. How bout I kick off a bunch of crap thoughts and watch her spiral into a miserable mood?"

All I could think about was how long it had been since I've been out on the town on a Friday or Saturday night. It's well over a year. The bigger I got the more reclusive I got. The bigger I got the less worthy I felt. Why should I go out? Who the hell would want to spend time with me? I feel like I am an embarrassment to those around me, and to myself.

Two years ago I graduated from university, and we had the formal ball thing. I went along and had a good time for awhile but then all of a sudden I sobered up, and my friends said we were moving on to a club. I suddenly felt I had to escape. That I shouldn't be there at all. So I told them I would meet them at the club, but I just had to go home for a minute (I lived right by). So I went home. But I didn't go back out. I locked the doors and turned out all the lights. I looked at myself in the mirror, how I'd tried to pretty myself up for the night but it just didn't work. Then I just cried and cried.

That sparked off a year of extreme depression and bad **** in my life, that I always attributed to my post-uni uncertainty and stress about finding a job. But now I can admit much of it stemmed from my weight. Everything does, really. There's no escaping that. Everything I do in life (and mostly, what I *don't* do) is impacted by how I feel about my weight. I can't walk to a little meeting at work without feeling the panic that everyone will look at me and write me off as incapable and/or stupid because of my weight.

Getting back to Saturday night... I was feeling lonely. I feel lonely a lot. It's not that I don't have friends, I do, and often I am my own worst enemy. I go into recluse mode and shut people out coz I don't feel I am worth the effort.

It's the romance thing that gets me lonely. It's been so long since I've been kissed. Since someone looked at me like they cared. That they wanted me. I crave for someone to just look my way and smile.

Bah.

Now I've started this weight loss caper, I feel better about myself everyday. But deep down I still feel so pathetic. And I worry about when it comes off, will anyone like what's underneath? I am still gonna be plain ol me. Just a bit smaller. Is it going to make me more confident or will I still be the same social doofus that I am now? I guess it's now if noone wants me I can put it down to "ugly fat chick", but if I was no longer ugly fat chick, what happens if noone still wants me then?

Bah. I dunno why I even think about these things. It's not something I need to consider for awhile yet. I am still a whale.

oh man....she is very good about exactly capturing moments I think all us fatchicks/dudes have felt.