Ending a Friendship

I've been working on changing my eating and physical activity for the past 6 month and have successfully lost 32 lbs. In the process one of my close friends had Gastric by-pass and has lost 74 lbs in 3 months. All I do is listen to here complain that the weight isn't coming off fast enough or I only lost 4 lbs this week.  I'm really having a hard working out and hanging out with this person. Any advice on dealing with this situation ????

Can I just say if you can hang onto the relationship and not go through a "break up" give it a try. Maybe talk to her less if you have to. I had to end a 22 year long best friend relationship 2 years ago and it STILL makes me cry to think about not being apart of her life anymore. She was the most selfish individual I think I've ever met or have ever known. We had gone through so much together growing up that I thought it would all just settle down once we got to be 30, but no dice. I called her on her selfish ways countless times with no real change. In fact she just got worse the older we got. Sometimes you just can't change a person no matter what you say.  I was talking to a very good friend of mine tonight on the phone telling her that my life is so much better and that I can get around better since losing 41 pounds. She is very supportive. BUT when she then says "yeah I SO know what you mean. My size 5 jeans are fitting so much loser now. I feel great!!" well...... it's hard NOT to feel kinda crappy when I'm thinking in the back of my head "gezz I just want to be out of my size 24's."  Honestly, I don't know what I would do without the support I get on here!

 

Maybe it's just me, but  if she's your friend you should just tell her how you feel!  I know I wouldn't be upset by it.  I'm sure you are happy for her, and let her know it.  But her rubbing it in like that without realizing what she's doing isn't right either.  Just let her know, she probably is unaware of it.  Also let her know that 74 pounds in three months is INCREDIBLE, but at the same time...32 pounds in six months without having surgery is FANTASTIC!! Pat yourself on the back, you've done very well!

Here's a good question for you to ask her.  Have you ever in your whole life lost even close to that amount in 3 months?  Her answer will obviously be no, then you reply, get real, girl!  Then you say, how much weight do you see me losing each week?  Then let it go at that.  Point made. Brenda

Like Holly says, tell her how she is making you feel.  And before you do remember, she did have to have surgery to get to this place, which is not bad, my point is that it is something of a sacrifice. She ratcheted up her risk of many things going wrong to get her weight loss.  Yes, this was her choice and it may have been the right thing, don't know her story, but in many cases, i am usually a big supporter of WLS, seeing it as a very viable option. AND she is in what is referred to as the honeymoon phase - this will not last of course.  I really do know how you feel, I think anyway...one of my dear friends at work os looking great at almost 2 years out...she and i tried to qualify together...i was not approved by my doc (she goes to the same doc, who supported her loss; she had over 100# to lose, I had about 75 to lose). My friend does not rub into my face - she knows how hard I work and has never ever said anything to gloat. I cannot say I am NOT jealous of her, I am...it appears that she is keeping it off, maybe losing even more after all this time, not even exercising, eating all the desserts in the breakroom, etc.  And here I am, struggling.....do you feel this way, too?  Is this actually classified under "our problem"?  I think so. But again, having a heart to heart and reminding your friend how her words make you feel may be important and may help save your friendship.

She's not directing comments at me but making comment aloud regarding how she's only lost "X" amount this week ...." I've nicely reminded her how difficult a time she used to have just losing 2 pounds and that she should be thrilled, excited , proud of where she is now. I guess I am somewhat jeolous and tired of reminding her in a nice way. I'd rather blow off steam here then ruin our friendship.

and that works, too to talk it out here. I think you sound like a wonderful friend!