Fell off wagon big time, now LAST attempt

Hi Guys

I was really ashamed to come back here, but some nice people told me not to be.
I was trying for my last attempt but fell of the wagon and gained some weight back. I am still batteling the same kilograms over and over again. In the meantime, got a message from my isurance that they will pay for my surgery should I decide to have it. Then i started living on 2 thoughts: I could have a RNY in 3 months time. Why even bother?
Or....should I , could I, try it by myself?

I ate my way trhough al the forums, good and bad. And now my head is clear on what to do, with strict time limits.

I already told you I am 30 now and do not want to end up like mom, who is 63 and on WW for the 1000th time in her life. This is the year to decide:
WLS
Do it without WLS: ONCE and FOR ALL
Or stay Fat

Latter not being an option with 2 young kids.

I read my old columns I wrote for 7 years in a magazine and I got really depressed. In almost every column there was mention of a new start at a healhty lifestyle. New diet. New Plan. For my wedding, for a trip, for my pregnancy. I never succeeded to even get past 30 pounds weight loss and always regained. I got really depressed reading about this/ and sad. Past usually dictates the future. And the percentages do not lie: 2 to 5% of people can lose weight AND keep it off. The rest regains. Over and over again. (supposedly for obese people even worse %) I know a lot of fat people, but none who had ever succesfully kept weight off.
So I was eating my depression away and already with 1 foot in the surgeon's office...

I am still not totally ready to go forward with it. I decided to give it one last try. We (dh and I) set a doable goal. Start living healthily. Work out. Drink water. Stay on WW plan (whcih is great for me). Keep insurance papers at hand. If I send them in it will be done in 3 months time.

We set my goal to be under 135 kilograms before july 1st. Do not make it? go forward with WLS. Make it? One step further.
I though it was about 10 kilos to lose in 10 weeks, but turns out I gained some. I am 147 now. So 12 to lose.
It is very doable.
But I am scared to hell I won;'t make it. (or maybe I am scraed that I WILL make it... and have to continue without WLS)

Well sorry for long post. But this is the only place I can relate to people with the same struggle.

Jean, sorry to have stopped mailing. Could not face admitting my depression....

I'd really suggest trying Atkins.  Just give it a shot for 1 month of the 3 before your deadline for WLS.  I think you'll find  yourself very successful.  PM me if you want links to get you started.

Hi Jerseygirl

Thank you for your suggestion. You knoq: I really would just like to learn how to eat normally and healthily, with excercise. If I do Atkins, I will be doing another 'diet' in stead of adapting my lifestyle forgood. I am looking to do something I can keep up for good, not just whilst dieting and then resort back to old habits.

Another problem with atkins is, that i live in Holland. This is a bread and potatoe country!!!! People eat breda, potatoes, rice, pasta, cereals etc. Not very much low carb alternatives available like in the states. I would be setting myzelf up to do something that is hard to keep up with here!

Or am I mistaken, it is a very low carb diet, right?

Only reason I suggest it is because for many it puts them in control of the foods that put them out of control.  I don't think you'd be falling off the wagon all that much while on it. I felt much like you describe until I went on Atkins.  It is low carb (very low to start, then ends up with a little bit more of starches).  Ultimately it's produce and protein.  You've got veggies and meats/eggs/fish etc. there.  You'd just have to ignore bread, potato, etc. 

Hi, Wow, I can really relate to everything you are saying.  I am 41 years old.  My weight has been up and down my entier adult life.  Although I have been able to lose weight in the past, keeping it off has been elusive.  I have researched the topic of wieght loss and from the data available surgery is the most effective treatment.  I hate the idea of surgery.  So like you, I have three choices. Face my fears and have the surgery. Lose weight without the surgery. Stay fat. LIke you, staying fat is not an option.  I have a wonder wife and two fantastic children who need me to be there for them and to be healthy.  So what do I do? I don't know how things work in your country, but for me I need to go through a process that will take 3-6 months before I can qualify for the surgery.  I have decided to use this as my last chance.  I am proceeding with everything I need to do to get clearance, but at the same time trying to change my eating and exercise habits.  I have not set a specific weight target for myself, but I have decided that when the day comes that I have qualified for the surgery I need to do an honest assessment.  If I am losing weight and I think I can keep it up, I will delay my surgery for three months.  I will continue this way, three months at a time.  If at any time I stop losing or begin to regain weight, the the surgery is the only option yet and I will proceed.  Since I hate the idea of surgery I am currently very motivated to succeed without it. To try to maximize my chances of success I am using all the support tools available to me.  My insurance company requires that I participate in a medically supervised diet and exersice program for a minimum of three months.  I am taking full advantage of this.  I am also visiting this board regularly and attending a support group meeting at least once per week. I figure that even I cannot lose the weight on my own, I will be preparing myself for life after surgery.  We must remember that the surgery is not magic and we will still need to modify our eating after. I am sorry this is such a long post, but I really feel connected to what you are going through.   I hope that both of us can succeed without the surgery.  But, if that is what we need, then lets succeed with it.  Failure is not an option here. Good luck, and don't get discouraged!

If you want to give it another try let me tell you the #1 important thing is your attitude.

I just added a post to my profile. Have you read it? Does it make sense to you?

Maybe it was the product of too much pain relief? But I can honestly say that today was the first day in my life where I wanted to shout from the roof tops with the joy of what I have achieved. I felt like I was standing there with the world before me.

Your future is in your hands.

  

I have an excellent article about HOW to change your life and meet goals (not just weight loss.. any goals) would you like me to scan it and email it to you as a PDF? It gives strategies to make goals happen and talks about how to define and break the goal down.  (Anyone else who want the article let me know).

Em

Buzden you are a kindred spirit, we are going through the EXACT same thing!

here also the whole process will take 3 to 6 months, from the day I send in those papers. I am keeping the papers at hand untill july 1st. If I did not meet the weight goal then: the papers go to the post office. But if I do meet my goal, I will delay sending them another 3 months with a new goal.

I think the same as you do: let's do it without WLS but not beat ourselves up about it if we DO end up needing it. As long as satying fat or jojo-ing for years to come is eliminated from the options list.

Be aware though, of the trap i feel in the last couple of weeks. I kept thinking about WLS, leaning towards going forward with it, doing some insurance work on it. But that meant I let myself slip away from the other option. I just started eating because I almost half decided to have WLS anyway. Be aware of that!

As dr Phil (or Oprah?) says:
Make a choice and live with that for a couple of weeks. REALLY live it, so do not contemplate WLS anymore, just go for the healhty lifestyle (something u can keep up for eternity) and exercise. Go for it 100%. And then later evaluate.

Could also be turned the other way around: decide to go for WLS and do everything in accordance with that decision. Live with it. see how it feels.

You can add me as a friend if you like.
I am giving it my last en best shot. Let's do this!

Em, that would be great! I already look into your profile a lot for the needed inspiration. You are one of the very few peeps that I know of who lost weight AND kept it off for quite some time.

Any help is more then welcome!

I am also reading the dr Oz book to better understand my body. he says: do not tery to lose weight with willpower, for you will fail every time. Don't lose weight HARD, lose it SMART. Makes a lot of sense.

Consider it good as done. It's currently midnight here... so I will wait unitl the morning as I need to sleep and recover.  But I'll message you my email- send me a message and I'll reply with the article attached OK?

Being 'smart' about it sounds like a shared concept you can work in combination with the article I will send you.  One of the stages is to define the steps you need to succeed.

Em

  

I LOVE that - Work smart!  I will hold that very close today!  Yes, yes, yes, a healthy food plan is exactly that - planned. You cannot subject yourself to hoping the right foods will be there when you are hungry.  YOU have to make that happen!