Completely OT - Your Opinion (long)

Sorry this is not weight related but you guys give good advice so I thought I would ask what you think on this sitchee-ation I am in.... So I started my job back in October of last year.  I told her when I started that unfortunately I would have to have surgery (my lapband removal) in the near future.  They brought me in knowing I would have surgery soon and it was agreed I would just take the time off unpaid....no big deal.  I accrue vacation and sick time with each paycheck and we can't use what we don't have, obviously.  It was my understanding that my boss is fairly reasonable about things and it's no big deal if you have to leave early/come in late, as long as you try to make up the time that same week....(eg: I left yesterday a half hour early, so this morning I came in half hour early to make up for it).   It didn't take me very long in this position to see that many people leave early/come in late, take off, etc....with regularity....and it's no big deal.  Well, I have never been big on calling in or being late, etc....  I only ask to change something when it's a legitimate reason -- I haven't used time off to "go play a round of golf" like another co-worker of mine.  Anyway, my boss ALWAYS comes in late (every day) and leaves early ALL OF THE TIME.  We all have to input our time into a computer program and print it out bi-weekly, including her....she never logs the fact that she left early or came in late, etc.... seriously -- hardly EVER! Well I could care less.....didn't give it a second thought really......until this week.  Well my "6 month probationary period" was to end this week and then I would be a "regular" employee.  She decides that I need to have my probationary period extended ANOTHER 6 months due to my time taken off in the last 6 months.  She says that if she does my review now, it would look bad to enter my time off, but if she extends it another 6 months, things will look better (whether that is even true is a whole different story). She said I had taken 56 hours of time off (beyond the unpaid week) and that was excessive.  We sat down and looked at the days I was off and discussed it last week -- she was clear.  I took my unpaid week off the week of Thanksgiving (so really only missing 3 days that we would have had any work to do anyway).  Then 32 of those hours off were for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day (which everyone took off).  One day was approved for me to be off on a Friday to go down and plan our wedding.  She approved it.  The other two days -- I missed one day when my fiance had his gallbladder removed, and one day when he had his tonsils/adenoids removed -- both of which were discussed with her ahead of time and she approved.  Other than that, I haven't missed anything. I have several problems here:   #1 is that I took time off that I had ACCRUED.  I didn't take off any time I didn' t have in the system to take (that's what it's there for right?).  #2 is that SHE approved these days off and said NOTHING to me at the time -- acted like everything was peechy keen.  #3 she CONFIRMED that my performance is great, I have NO performance issues.  #4 is that SHE (and others) have missed WAAAAAY more time than I have and don't even record it. Obviously if you have read this far, you can see that there are multiple issues going on here.  I will also tell you that she told me the week before (when we were discussing the details of the time I had taken off) that she "was wrong" in telling me I could use vacation and sick time both for my honeymoon in June.  I asked her a long time ago (we actually discussed my wedding/honeymoon when I was hired) if it would be a problem to use my vacation plus maybe one-two days of sick time to cover it since I didn't know if I would have been here long enough to accrue enough vacation time.  She told me it was perfectly fine, and now she says that I will have to take anything beyond the vacation I have accrued as unpaid time -- that I cannot use sick time for that.  She said HR told her this. So do you understand my frustration or do you think I am in the wrong here?  I really want to discuss this with her again because I am finding it hard to understand why I am being punished for taking time off that is given to me every other week.  Plus, if this was going to affect me, why didn't she tell me this at the time I discussed it with her?  Do you think this is right?  What do you think I should do?  Before any of you say "go over her head" let me just say that I work for the Police Department and it's a big no-no to step outside of the chain of command.  I am supposed to deal with this with her directly, not her boss. Thanks -- sorry it's so long but I wanted to include all the details.

If you used sick time, I am not sure what you can do. If you took unpaid leave under FMLA, I think you'd have been okay-- your employer can't legally punish you for that, I think. The lesson here is that you have to follow the policy of your employer as written-- no person's word in HR really means much, sadly.

If you don't get satisfactory responses, you go up the chain of command-- that's what it's there for, unfortunately.

I agree the chain of command is there for a reason.  And....believe me, I want to talk to someone other than her about it -- but I worry it would just make things worse.  I am all about sticking up for myself (maybe too much sometimes) but this is a job that I REALLY want and that I was SO excited to get.  It's just her that I don't get.  I took unpaid for my surgery (one week) and she SAID she was fine with that.  All the rest I took as "vacation days" as I didn't have sick time at that point.  When she acted like it was such a huge deal that I had so much vacation time taken I pointed out that 32 of those hours were for holidays (yes we have to use vacation pay -- it's built into how much we accrue). It's messed up.  As far as following the written rule -- I would think that as long as you HAVE the time and your boss says it's o.k. (both of which happened here) then it shouldn't be an issue.  I need to find out what this "review" at the end of my probationary period covers...that is what she kept referring to!

I read your situtation, and to be honest I think you are right and I think it stinks.  You must feel very frustrated.

Did you discuss with her the fact that the honeymoon had been spoken about when you were hired and that you thought there was an understanding?

Sadly, I think you may just have to chalk it up to a lesson learned.  The lesson being that unless you get things written into contract people can deny them later. Personally, I would invetigate the possibility of doing some extra hours to make up time in leiu of those two honeymoon days... is that possible?  In the future get promises in writing... smile sweetly while you do that of course.. but cover your own interests.

You must feel like slapping her one- either physically or emotionally.  The stupid thing is that when employees are treated this way it tends to backfire- I am sure many in that situation would now monitor every minute spent working and insist on being paid for it and leaving right on the buzzer at the end of the day.  If they had been a bit more honest, upfront and kept their word you would probably be much more willing to put in the extra mile for them long term... but I imagine now you won't bother doing more than the expected minimum for the job.

Let us know what happens.

Em

 

Yes, I do feel like slapping her!  I will not slack off on my job because I am just not like that.  I've always been one to go above and beyond.  That is the other reason I don't understand this -- my performance she said was GREAT.  Obviously if I was missing too much time I think it would show in my performance. I've learned my lesson for sure.....  "do what I say, not as I do"   Unfortunately I cannot work hours to prepare for the honeymoon.  Everything has to be within the same week as this job is technically not salary ( I knew I shouldn't have gone back to hourly!).

I will still go above and beyond on what I am assigned to do, but I don' t see myself VOLUNTEERING to do much extra in the near future!

You kind of answered your own question - CAN'T go over her head or bear the consequences. However, I would meet with her again and ask her to clarify contract language for you, that you are very concerned, want this job (if this is the case). Boy, managers make a grave mistake when they don't live and let live when it comes to leave time. People are more productive when they can be open about time off and feel secure in doing so.  This is a special year for you - wedding - and I would also let her know that it is rather an exceptonal year for you with health issues and a very big personal move here. I would ask for another meeting for clarification and no matter the outcome smile, and apply for other departments or jobs.

I think you are right.  I think I will ask to meet with her again and just tell her this has been bugging me the last two days the more I have thought about it.  I will be professional about it because yes, I DO want this job and want to keep it (for a while at least).  We will see what she says.  She kept acting like she was doing me a favor by extending it -- basically hinting that if she didn't, I might be in danger of losing my position......sucks!

You definitely need to sit down with her again for more clarification.  If you take another 6 month probationary period, won't it still look "bad" to take unpaid leave due to your honeymoon.  It is definitely worth asking.  Also, ask her what about your time off looks bad, the time you took off with pay that you had earned or the unpaid time that you had already cleared with her due to health issues.  For the health issue, you can definitely provide proof you were in the hospital, so that time shouldn't be viewed.  Also, please get a copy of the HR manual.  That way you have the requirements at hand.  Let her know you want this job (if that's the case) and want to make sure YOU are playing by the book.  Definitely get the specifics on what a probationary period entails and what your benefits are during that time period.  Couldn't she just give you a 3 month extension instead of 6 months? Please let us know how it goes.

I asked her that exact thing about the honeymoon being in the next 6 months and she said that none of it would be viewed as "bad" because it's been pre-approved and she is fine with it. My thoughts?!?  YOU WERE FINE WITH EVERYTHING ELSE TOO!  I am not sure if I want to see what happens in another 6 months.  Wedding time is stressful enough without worrying about it causing you to lose your job (when it totally shouldn't even be an issue).  I thought about the shorter extension too -- maybe I will ask her about that.  You are right, I need to get a copy of the "expectations" during my probationary period and get her to be specific about what is bad.  If I have a meeting with her I will make sure to get this info.  Thanks!

Then I would make it a point to ask her exactly that.  What's the difference between last time and what is about ready to happen in the next six months?  You were supposedly preapproved before even getting hired.  I think it really depends on how much you value this job.  For one I wouldn't worry about what she says about your wedding or honeymoon.  This is a once in a life time thing, just tell her you want to be clear and understand what is going to happen after the six months is over again. She really reminds me of my old boss.  Being late all the time, doing her own thing, making her own rules as she goes along with it, and then BAM switches it around to cover her butt for her slip ups.  I've lost my insurance because of someone like this. If after she says it will be fine this time because it was preapproved, remind her of you getting permission about your leave for your lapband removal.  Tell her you thought that was preapproved also and your a little concerned because you are afraid you are going to be right in the same spot again six months down the road.  Nothing is wrong with letting her know your a little confused on how she's figuring this out. Also, in my past job preapproval for taking a day or two off doesn't mean squat in the HR department when they figure out your full time status or qualify for insurance.  Your boss might not be up to date with all the requirements of these.  I have a feeling that is why your still on your six month probation...for HER mix up to let you slide with a few days off when HR wasn't aware of it.  Not sure, but that's what it almost sounds to me.