Getting Big

We had to realize along the way just how big we were becoming.  Why when we saw our reflection in the mirror didn't we stop and think about just how big we were becoming and put a halt to it?  Does the food really taste that good?  Did we realize just how much power food has over us?  Why didn't we put a stop it before we became obese or morbidly obese?  I realize a lot of us avoided mirrors, but sometimes it was inevitable.  Did we try and block it from our minds?  I think for me I did both.  I know when I get stressed I always turn to food.  I know I don't like when I have to think about what I can eat.  I just want to be able to eat whatever.  Look where that has gotten me. 

It's hard to change all the habits and ways of thinking.  Do we ever stop struggling?  I think we don't, we're just learning to live with it and do the best we can.  It definitely is not an overnight fix. Why can't it just be simple?  Life.

Brenda

 

 

Interesting topic. I've been morbidly obese since I was 13/14 years old.  Did I not see that I was getting overweight?  No, of course I did.  But I ate what was prepared and bought and I was quite active. Besides, I was always dieting, what was I to do differently?

I guess I don't feel as some do, that it took time to come on (and will take time to come off).  I always felt it was fast.  One week I'd be up 7 lbs and that would just keep happening.  Everytime I had gains I was actually trying not to. And I can't blame it on many of my choices as I ate as my family directed and also as my friends modeled.  If they could have a handful of Doritos, why couldn't I? I was likely IR back then (as I was already hypoglycemic) and no one suggested that starches and sugar was the devil.  And all the adult years that I was overweight--same thing, was always trying not to be.  I just can't blame my habits--just a lack of knowledge and abundancy of misinformation.

I looked but never really wanted to accept that it was myself making that way.  I would go on and on about how unfair it was that I was fat and other people could eat what they wanted and not gain.  Of course I looked in the mirror and I hated what I saw.  I tried losing weight many times in the past but I never wanted to accept that I would have to eat 'differently' for the rest of my life.  Eventually I had to come to terms with it all and here I am.

I'm with you on feeling like I was cheated by not being able to eat like everyone else.  I wonder to what extent that is really true.  I saw a show on the IFC about a thin woman and a chunky woman.  They did a study on them to see why the one was so much thinner and seemed to be eating constantly compared to the heavier woman.  After the study, it was proven that the thin ladies metabolism was actually a little slower than the heavier one and the thin one did actually eat less than the heavier one  They were both shocked.  I know my husband's identical twin brother has always been a little heavier than him, but he also really does eat more.  I am more apt to eat when I'm not hungry than my husband.  He doesn't love food to the extent I do either.  If there's something in the fridge I love, it will bug me till I eat it.  He can wait and it the next day or so.  Sick behavior is all I can say.   Brenda

 If there's something in the fridge I love, it will bug me till I eat it.  I think this the key to understanding when our food is an addiction. We can't get our minds off of it. We obsess over it. I mean when we get a craving, it's just not that easy to "work through it" because in our minds "we gotta have it" and that craving is not going to go away in our minds until we get it.  The hardest part is you can stop buying drugs, cigarettes and alcohol and avoid the places where they are available to us but food is EVERYWHERE. You can drive down most streets without a restaurant or a sign jumping out at you. When you get the newspaper and magazines, there are food ads and coupons galore. The worst of al1 is that it is in your own home 24/7.  I think when it comes to addictions, we have the hardest battle of all.

I think for one I have always been use to it, being overweight since about the age of five. I think for me it was normal.  I was at my "normal" weight, so I didn't think much about it.  Sure I knew I was fat, but I knew I was always like that.  Mirrors I avoided, foods helped love myself.  I didn't get any kind of real  true love until this marriage I have now so I had to get it from some where..and food was it!

I think also some of us..ok me..:), get really stuck in the mode of being "mom".  The kids take over our life, and we don't even think about our self anymore.  Our life becomes their lives.  Their needs exceeds ours and we just forget all about ourself.  I am a REALLY bad one at this.  Someone about ten years ago told me "You got to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.  If not, who's going to take care of them when your gone".  That made me start thinking that I totally had it backwards.  Then is when I started caring for myself a little better, just a little bit at a time.  Three years later I got a divorce.lol  My life really started about seven years ago!  Before then it really was all about EVERYONE ELSE! 

Do we ever stop struggling?  I don't think so.  I think for most of us it will be with us all of our lives.  Sure it might get easier I think, but it will still be with us.  Sort of like alcoholics, we're stuck in the addiction.lol  Sort of sucks, but we just got to do what we have to do to make it work!

That's how I'm thinking about it. 

I agree that when you have been overweight for so long we learn to adapt.  My younger sister put on a few pounds as she aged and she couldn't handle it worth a crap.  She was constantly talking about food and checking the label to see how much fat was in it and I rarely did that myself.  Gaining a couple pounds was always on her mind.  I used to think, do something about those lousy couple of pounds or just shut up because I'm sick of hearing about it.  I on the other hand didn't talk much about any of it.   I realize more than ever that food really is an addiction.  Geez, I think I need a twelve step program, but I don't like facing that. Brenda

From all the post I have read on here, I have picked up a few tidbits put together piece by piece. 1)Most of us gain when we diet. 2)Most of us are IR therefore cutting out processed carbs or carbs all together causes an instant loss of some magnitude because the insulin isn't there turning everything we eat to fat. 3)Most of us are eating balanced meals in smaller portions 4)Most of us have struggled all our lives being a fatty but never had the information or knowledge we do now to change that. 5)we ALL need this group because that is how we became informed, encouraged and are actually succeeding in losing weight. Without each other, we would still be lost. Brenda, we all knew we were fat or getting fat just by the size of our clothes even without the mirror. Personally, I think we chose to ignore it because it hurt too much to acknowledge it and be at a loss as what to do about it because nothing had ever worked or if it did work, it didn't last. I also think the reason we are all here now tho is that we have chosen to acknowledge and take responsibility for it at long last. As a result, we have all come together at the right time and the right place to learn and work together toward a common goal.  I thank God for this group and the things I have learned here. It has truly been my saving grace. Beth

Hear Hear!!  Fantastic post! Couldn't agree more!

I agree with a lot of what you said, but were we IR when we were just kids?  If our glucose and AIC test normal doesn't that mean we're not IR?

Brenda