Rough week!

Well on Friday I had to run to the school as all cell service was out and my dgs was very sick- they couldn't find mom/dad so I was next in line!  Found dgs lying down in the office with lots of people around him- they said his HR was bouncing from 120-130 and he was disoriented etc.  We took him to the hospital where it seems he may be having anxiety attacks :(  It kills me... my dd began having them a couple months ago as well.  Drew is doing okay now but it's just all so ugly! Just got home when I got a call from my sister in NJ... she was stationed there with her dh & kids- then they divorced and she was just there. Raised her kids and now she is use to it there & has no plans of ever coming back this way. I've not seen my sister in almost 14 years. I miss her terribly at times. But anyhow- she is 4' and 11.5" tall and has bounced with her weight all her life- like me. I guess she was down to 150 this last year but has gone back up around 180.  She went in for a check-up as she hadn't been in for years! They FREAKED at her heart!!!   It looks as though she may be going in for bypass???  They told her absolutely NO NO NO treadmill until they do the dye test etc. I'm waiting to hear from her again to know WHEN that is going to be scheduled. My sister is only 52. But we lost an uncle to a massive heart attack at 48, our grandfather also passed in his 40's from a heart "embolism"? (Our other 2 aunts passed at 47 due to cancer) It is VERY SCARY!   I'm very scared for my sister. I wish I could be there if she has any surgery but there is just no way. I hope someday we see each other again. It's sad to be so distanced :( My sis told me "One more reason to get back on WW!" (she has had great results in the past) I know that is MY warning as well. I will be going in to see my Dr in the next 2 weeks- HATE to- but I'm afraid NOT to :( Just babbling I guess!  

You certainly HAVE had a rough week, sweetie.  In these situations, I've found there are very few words.  All I can say is that I do know how you feel.. how difficult it is to have a loved one go through something so serious, and be so far away. I experienced this very same thing with my sister's first brain surgery.  We were apart in miles.. but together in our hearts.  Our distance wasn't as great as yours, and for the second, even more serious brain surgery, I dropped everything and got on a plane.....  if it comes to that with your sister, I'm sure you'll go no matter what.  What I did find is that being THERE didn't make the worry any less.... and although she could physically feel my hand holding hers, the true connection was in our hearts and in our prayers. Sisters have a special connection that no number of miles can sever.... YOU ARE there for her.. without being there in body, and without even speaking a word... and I'm sure your concern means more to her than 10 strangers being there with her in the physical sense. I'm praying for peace and comfort for you, your sister, your dgs, dd and all those who have heavy hearts during this time of unrest. God be with you all Lori

Thanks Lori, You didn't say how your sister is? Did things turn out well? You know just what I feel... it's *HARD*.  I have 2 nephews and a niece that will be there, and I HOPE this will be fairly simple... they do so much now and far less invasive than my ds went through 13 years ago- I guess I'm picturing all that stuff. Intubation etc. I guess the first thing I need to do is just WAIT it out and see what comes of the whole thing. Maybe everything can be handled with meds even? Thanks so much for the words of support.

Thank you for asking, Mama.. I guess I should have included that. They put six coils in one aneurysm during the first surgery, and 2 months later they put three clamps on the big one that was about to burst.  She did so well that the surgeon actually did a victory dance when he saw her toes wiggle in recovery.  They removed the breathing tube during her very first day in ICU and the first thing she said was "How old do you think that doctor is".. LOL  "I dunno E, but you better hope he likes bald women with big black eyes!"  She just got her last angio results and the BIG one is completely gone!  There's some blood in the stem in the other one.. and a new one has developed..so they are watching it.  She stays in faith and keeps her wild sense of humor about her.  Waiting it out is about the only thing you CAN do....  I know that doesn't make it any easier but your nephews and niece will surely keep you informed if need be.  It's hard to accept that things will be just what they are going to be, whether we want them to or not...  so the best thing we can "do" is probably the most important:   keep an honest, open and loving line of communication open.. tears are allowed, "I love you's" are required and laughing together is mandatory!! 

How scary....I will keep your sister in my prayers.  It has to be so difficult to be on opposite sides of the country and not to have seen each other in so long....especially at a time when she needs you.  Does she have any family there at all?  Good friends? Sometimes a "wake up" like that is just what we need to get us moving in the right direction.  I know you said you've really been struggling since you got back from vacation.  You are wise to get thoroughly checked out with the doctor....especially with your family history.  Better safe than sorry. I so relate to the anxiety attacks...they can be brutal.  I had them very badly several years ago (before my divorce...gee it must have been like 15-20 years ago).  They eased up when we separated....stress can be a very big factor.  I have now learned to recognize the symptoms when I get them and that helps to just know what you're having and that you're not going to die.  I also learned some breathing techniques that really helped me and mine now are few and far between and quite manageable.  How scary for a child, though. Hang in there, Mama...you will find what works for you.  Holly and I have started South Beach and are really happy with it.  It is very similar to the Core program of WW, but more strict the first two weeks of Phase 1.  There's a lot of information online about it. Hope this week goes easier for you....still using that elliptical?  You were doing so well and can get there again....new slate today.  Lots of support and encouragement here for you.  We are all struggling together here. Blessings....Sherrie

Thank you Sherrie! Yes, my sister does have 2 grown sons as well as a dd that just graduated last May. I just wish I was there with them all. I think I need to just stop thinking the WORST. I think I'm jumping to conclusions because of what we experienced with our two boys heart issues. I need to just wait things out and see what he real issues are. Maybe it is something much more simple? AND... my boys were 11 & 12.5 years ago... medical advances have come a LONG way since then. My dd went to the Dr. again yesterday for her anxiety and depression. He changed her meds from Welbutren to Celexa and told her that Welbutrin can actually ADD to anxiety issues. He also gave her some more of the anxiety meds for when she is having an attack.  Since she & our oldest ds didn't get to go on the Disney trip with us- the two of them are going to Seattle for a few days tomorrow! That will be VERY good for her- to get AWAY for a bit.  (though I wory about the kids in just their fathers care- he is NOT drinking- he asked her to not divorce him for 20 days as he gets "dry"?) Thanks for your support Cherrie.

Mama....BREATHE!  I can't even begin to imagine the level of your stress right now. Stay strong. Even being far away from your sister, your strength becomes her strength and vice versa.  I feel so badly for your dgs. Anxiety attacks can be horrible especially for a child who has no clue what they are let alone what to do in the midst of one to control.   God be with each of you I pray.  Beth

Thank you Beth..... all your words HAVE given me strength... which has helped me to STOP and look at things from the cup as half FULL... apposed to the half EMPTY mode I was in :) Thank you!

Hey there, I was wondering why you wasn't posting.  I was about ready to email you, getting a little concerned.  I'm sorry to hear about everything that is going on.  I remember about your family history so this must be terrifying for you.  My prayers are with your sister that everything goes smoothly.  It's good she caught it now, that's a good thing!  They can do a lot of things they couldn't do even twenty years ago, so keep the faith.

As for you....:) hehe  You didn't really state how your doing?  Are you on track?  If not girlie it's time to get your books out and reread!  You know what works for you.  Don't let this fear get you, you've worked too hard for this.  Then get on your new little gizmo and ride! :) 

((((HUGS)))))) 

Thanks Holly... yeah, I've been kinda draggin since I got back from Disneyland. I think PART of it might be that I have got some stupid head/chest thing trying to glom onto me. EVERYONE around me has had it and I've been thankful NOT to have caught it... now though- it seems to be happening so I think that might be the run-down feeling I've had for some time. I'm REALLY thankful the FOUND the heart issues with my sister as it sounds like it could have been REALLY BAD. Actually- it has made ME afraid to exercise before MY appointment! The WL is just not going well and I'm not happy with myself AT ALL :( But I DO know what WORKS for me and I just have to knuckle down and GET WITH THE PROGRAM! Then Tim decided to make freakin snickerdoodles yesterday and I probably had FIVE... Gotta drink LOTS of WATER today!!!  Those snickerdoodles are NASTY :( Holly! Did you read about the HORRIBLE murder in SITKA yesterday? It was HORRIBLE! Things like that just don't happen that often in the smaller SE communities!  And this was on my MIL's street!  She can see the house from her living room window! http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/story/355888.html Anyhow- thanks for the moral support!!!  I just need to get myself together before I ruin what I've already accomplished!!