Trying so hard to get back!

It's HARD to get back into the normal grind after you've stepped away for awhile!  I have just not been doing well AT ALL :(    TODAY though- I decided this was THE day! So back in the saddle I am! I didn't drink the water I should have but will do better tomorrow! Got on the scale a few days back- I gained SIX POUNDS on a 10 day vacation! I also started TOM the next day so hopefully that was a lot of it as well?  I'll weigh myself maybe on Thursday or Friday to see how things are going. I'm a real emotional eater. I have identified that one- years ago. Right now there is a LOT of emo stuff going on in my family and I'm kind of a wreck. Partly because I'm DEPRESSED. I hadn't realized how very much I would MISS the SUNLIGHT and WARMTH of getting OUT of this place. I mean, it was in the 70's... it was SO NICE! And here we are in the 30's and it snowed like crazy this weekend.  On top of that- I have 2 kids whose lives are in tremendous  turmoil right now. One is hanging with a really bad crowd... she got fired right after we got back (she worked at a video store and was letting her friend have free rentals) and I am 100% sure she is into some drugs.  The other one- she has been married for 10 years- has 3 kids and her dh has had issues with alcohol. He was in Iraq for a year and is in FAR worse shape now then ever before. He is drunk daily. He has freaked out a few times (involving a gun) and I am scared to death for her & the kids..... especially now- because she has told him she wants a divorce.  She just cannot deal with the issues any longer. He will go to counseling- maybe show up twice- then never again. He is VERY VERY controlling. It's scary. It's ugly. I know whatever is going to happen with them all- will be out of my hands- but they are my children. I am so worried for them all. MORE reasons to get my HEALTH BACK!!!  My children NEED me around awhile!   Anyhow- that's my update. Been working on my pictures from Cali and have made a few slide shows.... they turned out very cool :)  youtube is a GREAT source for SOUND! Since my dh lost my sony digi video camera in Disneyland.... I had to put music/sound to my still pics... it turned out GREAT :)  Also have 7 (8 counting my dd) kiddo's enrolled in my childcare as of this week- WOW! Times are finally getting busy! It's been a slow winter. (Oh! The buyer fell through on my car so will be putting a 4sale sign in there tomorrow! Arggg!) That's it from here! I think I'm glad I missed the turmoil on here but so hope nobody is leaving!!! (((((hugs))))) to all!

Oh mama, I'm sorry to hear about all that is going on in your life.  I was just thinking of you today actually and was going to email you to see if you were alright.  First your weight, you already know this one, you got to take care of YOURSELF before you can take care of others.  There was a reason why you went on this journey, and this journey was for a VERY good reason.....your health.  Get back in the game, force yourself, drink your water tomorrow, I know how much you depend on your water every day.  I hear you on the kid issues.  Mine are a little different, but I get the thought that no matter how old they are, we will always worry about them.  Your older daughter is going to have to lead her own path.  When she gets tired of it, she'll leave.  Hopefully it won't have to come to that, but I'm sure knowing she has a loving mom like you behind her means a tremendous amount to her. As for the other child, slap her hands. lol   I'm so against drugs, I'm trying so hard to keep my teenagers away from it.  I'm to the point where I will lock mine up if I have to keep them safe.  They already know I will be taking them to the hospital or make them volunteer somewhere to make them realize what's going on with the world.  Sometimes visuals I think makes them realize more whats really happening out there. As for the sunshine, hang in there girl.  We're getting there.  I know where your coming from.  I"m SOOOO antsy for summer to hit.  I just want to drive to Homer for the weekend, that's all I ask.  lol but nooooo the weather isn't allowing me too.  But we're almost there! Hang tough, and hang in there! ((((((HUGGGGSSSS))))))))

Thanks Holly... I know dd has to make it on her own but garsh! Why is it SO HARD?? :(   Arrggg.... I was there once to.... but my dh was into drugs and thank GOD- I got out before things got real bad. I wory more about the guns than anything. He and his dad are now OPENING a GUN SHOP!  YIKES :( Today looked like SPRING... then an hour later... it was a BLIZZARD!!! We really NEED spring!!!  

(((((Mama)))))  Your problems are real ones...ours here lately seem insignificant in comparison.  Kids! If to do all over, not so sure....for all the great times, i hate worrying about them, now I add the grandkids to that worry list.....it is a lot. Just pray and hang on, be the voice of reason and try be a soft place to fall for your abused DD and GK's.  Does AK have battered women's services?  Call and see...they saved my life years ago, and gave me a sane direction to go toward when all else was insane. Vacation does tend to this to us - it is a psychological struggle and physical to boot, i am convinced...like our bodies WANT to hang onto weigh****er, whatever that crap is that stowed home with us! ((((mama))))), will pray my head off tonight for you and yours.

Glad you posted...was getting worried not hearing from you.  I'm so sorry your family is in such turmoil at this time.  It doesn't end once these kids are grown and out on their own...like Neecee says, then you have the grandkids to worry about too!  My daughter went through a similar situation with her first husband with alcohol and thankfully got out quickly with the baby.  Alcohol can certainly destroy a family and I'm sure the stress of Iraq didn't help (my son has been there too). You need to take good care of yourself now and "let go, let God" with the rest.  It is so difficult, I know, as you lay awake at night and worry about them, but in the end it's all in His hands.  They know you're always there for them and that is a constant in their lives.  If you're feeling good about yourself, it will help you deal better with all their stress. Praying for you and your family, Mama.....

Good to see you back again! Glad you had a great vacation! I love the snow but I really couldn't imagine having to live with as much of it as you do. Give yourself a big ole pat on the back. You were way out of your norm on vacation and you only gained 6 lbs!  Most of it is probably water weight anyway and you'll be sure to knock that out in no time.  Plus, you acknowledged it and now you're on your back on track.  There's definitely a lot of turmoil going on in your life but we know it always works out in the end. Keep doing what you have to do to make yourself happy and healthy and then take on the rest of the world. You're no good if you don't take care of yourself first!  But you know that already! G'luck!

Welcome back, Mama!  We all missed you! You've always done so well with your eating program, you can do it again.  We have faith in ya.  I admire you so much with drinking your water.  I have such problems in that area.  I'm just not thirsty and don't want to drink most of the time. So sorry to hear about your troubles.  I'll pray also for strength and happiness for you and your family. Until then.....take care! Bren

It always hard rampin up.. I find it easy to start back slowly... Drinkin a little more water, cuttin back and exercising each day in increments.. you'll get there! Also don't stress the 6 pounds.. 5.5 of that is probably water. Sorry to hear about your family. Do keep them in order! -Bud

Thanks so much everyone.... I was going to sit here and jot an individual note to you all but I am beat tonight. It's 10 p.m. and oh boy... I have this new little boy (only till Fri!)  that is only 2.5 but that little turd spends the day spitting and calling me "Tupid" LOL..... I'm TIRED :) Thanks for all your thoughts, prayers and support. (((((hugs))))) to you all!