The Day Unfolds Something New
Trained this morning with the group. At first Ian was a bit oversensitive, as he seems to be with me. We went to get bodybars and he said a heavy weight, starting at 12lbs, and someone didn't hear him, so she asked me and I repeated what he said, then grabbed slightly heavier ones than they, knowing I needed 15-18 for myself....His sensitivity showed when he snapped--it's all individual, and I said, I know, I didn't say anything. Sigh. But thankfully, the rest of the session was decent with him and we were okay. I just focused on getting what I needed out of it and if that meant constantly upping the weights, I did. As I did, I noticed M reacting with a look at the weights. I've figured her out more than she realizes. She and I are both strong women. She's in an alpha role battle with me. I tend to frustrate these types of women most because a) I'm a threat to their ego and b) I don't engage in the battle. More to come on her.... I met with Ian afterward to clear the air and plan on if anything needs to be said to the group. I finally realized the obvious--he's young, a bit immature, and unable to really dialogue in a discussion when there's an issue. When I am in an argument, I listen and share. It has to go both ways as there are more experiences than just your own, he's not yet able to do that. Ok. I accept that. The result is though that I agree we need a break from each other. We talked about maybe in a month or two resuming 1-1 and continuing on in group as it occurs. I am open to that...a bit. So, then a conversation ensued with K in the locker room. Turns out something that Ian mentioned to me was based on a conversation I had only had to her. It was a conversation that I remember implicitly and what he repeated was a severe twist on that. So, I confronted her gently and shared that part had upset me. Turns out she didn't tell him, she did tell someone else though. Hmmm, who could that be (are you guessing M?)> We danced around the discussion, neither wanting to hurt the other or betray other confidences or share things beyond the issue with each other. (We actually managed that.) But she kept explaining, things were bigger in this than I realized. I put it together. Long story short, I believe M had an issue with my friendliness and familiarity with Ian and made it an issue for him. I believe K shared the conversation with M and then M repeated a *******ization of it to Ian, that then resulted in yesterday's "office visit". Wow. It all makes sense. The issues M has with me, the drama it created, etc. etc. After today, Ian and I ended on a good, through frustrated note. We can't break our current communciation battle, so it has to be let go and a break is very necessary. But we can manage to work together in spite of this as per today. I'm okay with that.
As for M, I believe she's interjected herself inappropriately into a situation and created a hornet's nest. I now see what I needed to see. Clarity. It's an interesting thing. Still, in spite of the drama, it remains, I have a goal. Get out of my way or get run over. No 2 ways about it. Thanks for being there for me yesterday and guiding me through this soap opera (pffft). Time to change the channel.
Ironically, what K told M (and I had this out with K) was not her place to. It was K's opinion of what she believed was in my head to which she and M discussed and M approached Ian. K however feels she can say whatever she wants to as it's her opinion. Then enter Ms.Micromanage-other's-lives....
OY FRIGGIN VEY!
It wasn't even what I shared...it was K's OPINION! to which she feels is acceptable to discuss with others about me and others to act on or against my behalf. THIS is where I'll agree with my nemesis on this board about disliking those who play drama games. I have washed my head of this one.
