TOTALLY off topic

So I can tell I hurt my best friend's feelings...... She sent out this email to her parents, her husband, and me -- she is an elementary school teacher.  She is applying to work at like 5 different schools and wanted to include something she had written as a way to set her off from the rest.  She wanted our opinions on it.  I wrote her back and asked if she wanted my overall opinion of what she wrote and if I thought it sounded good or if she wanted me to proofread, etc...  She said 'all of the above' and to be honest. Well, let me just tell you up front that FOR A LIVING, I write policy for our metro police department.  I WRITE for a living -- I PROOFREAD for a living!  lol   And not to be mean -- seriously -- but there were some serious grammar mistakes in this o.k.?  Well, so I figured she was just rushing through and/or tired, etc... and I just corrected them -- made some suggestions on how to word things better, etc...  I was trying to be HELPFUL!!!!  I did not think I did it in a condescending way at all.  In fact I think I did her a favor really -- I mean she is trying to get a better job as a TEACHER right?  So I sent it back to her with corrections/suggestions and told her to please not take it in a negative way at all -- that I was trying to be helpful, etc... I get this email from her this morning (she copied everyone) saying something like, "I feel so stupid -- you all probably think I shouldn't even be a teacher.....I feel really dumb with the mistakes I had in there, etc..."  and then she goes on to say that she had written it in a hurry and says she will never send anything to us (probably ME) again because she feels so stupid. I'm thinking WTF???  She asked me to look at it and make suggestions right?  She knows that I am ANAL about good grammar and sentence structure -- it is why I have the job I have.  Why would she send it to me if she didn't want comments and suggestions?  Plus I asked her what she was looking for ahead of time.  Was I wrong?  Now I feel bad....

Hell no, don't feel bad. She okayed this, and you helped her, whether she knows it or not. She just feels dumb...and she should go get help on this if she really wants a better paying job.  Many districts have an essay piece as part of the hiring process, so she would probably be sunk anyway in the end.  All you did was maybe get her in the door with a more polished resume/letter of introduction! wtf is right...teachers more than anyone SHOULD know how to spell - grammar these days is a joke, lots of things now acepted that were not done before, but c'MON, spelling is important. My local newspaper is horrific...whatever happened to reporters NOT knowing how to spell interviewees' names? Drives me crazy. Having done a lot of work in HR and hiring in general, I TOSS the spell/grammar nightmares...especially for a classroom job. Such an app would not pass the screening process no matter how highly trained the person was!  

Ditto to Neecee. Do not feel bad. You even checked with her to see what she wanted on the paper. So she got what she asked for!! Don't worry!

Here locally, she said they do not even teach spelling or grammar in K-5.  I was astonished! It (grammar and sentence structure more so than spelling) has always been one of my pet peeves so I pay MORE attention than I think a lot of people do, but it seems it's just getting worse and worse.  Maybe it's because they aren't teaching it in school anymore. I don't claim to be perfect -- far from it.  And in forums like this, or in really casual emails, etc... I am not all formal about things.  BUT -- if I am trying to get a JOB -- HELL YES it's going to be perfect!!!

Ditto on what Neecee and Christa said.  You should NOT feel bad.  You asked her before you sent anything back.  As your best friend, she'll know what you do for a living.  Frankly I would be happy to have an experienced proofreader make my resume/letter of introduction look polished.  Maybe next time before she sends it to others, she should send it through you for the "proofing" aspect.  Then to her family if they think she should add anything else.  Do not take any of the blame for this.  You only did it to help HER get a better job.

Don't feel bad, don't even think twice about it.  You did exactly what she wanted you to do.  She might of truly been embarrassed over this also, not realizing what kind of mistakes she made.  You did nothing wrong.

 

No..  no way.. You did what was asked of you... as a friend... and responded with corrections that would prove to be in HER best interest when using this material to gain employment.  You did NOTHING wrong.   Sometimes feeling stupid gets us back on our toes. 

Definitely not your fault, Jenn!  You were doing her a favor.  Did you copy everyone else she sent it to with your corrections?  Maybe that's what she had the problem with. I too am a spelling and grammar nut....I review all of my company's nurse's reports and that and punctuation errors drive me nuts. She was fortunate to have you to send it to ....you asked what she wanted and gave her your honest opinion.  I'm sure she wouldn't have gotten anywhere without your corrections. Don't sweat it another minute!!

Thank you!  All of you made me feel much better!  I thought I was doing the right thing but when she responded the way she did I started questioning myself.  I certainly didn't want to hurt any feelings, but by the same token, I want her to look good also. I truly had her best interest at heart.  Thank you for re-convincing me that I did the right thing!