I need you guys again
Challenge is over in 2.5 weeks. Thank God, yesterday wore me out. As more emails were exchanged, it really comes down to--we're having fun, you take the fun out of it, can you be fun or leave? I'm not sure about that, so I really have to think about letting them go when this is over. It's not that I don't want to be fun, but Ian taught me to push hard, that requires focus for me. If I laugh and joke, I get hurt and/or **** him off.... I tried to build the team. As for going to Ian to handle the conflict--I did so solely because he felt I overstepped him in leading the group. That was all because I once asked "are we going to do this again," and he was offended. ((shakes head)). I just was trying to prepare to run again. So I deferred to him on the team conflict--as he's the leader of the team....
Anyway, I’m just going to protect my goals, finish out the Challenge, and work however *I* need to to keep seeing results and being content in my space, know what I mean?
Hit 44lbs down today. Oh so close to 50.
Meeting is tomorrow. Here's the scoop. His boss loves me...blows me kisses in a nonromantic way, encourages me constantly, tells me how proud he is of me and acknowledges my effort. I let him know a few days ago about a problem that occurred (Ian's fault)--we had a boot camp for the Challenge, but I was the only one there to take it and the instructor never showed...turned out Ian told the instructor we wouldn't be doing it...because the other two in the challenge didn't want to, but he made that decision excluding me and never let me know. I waited for hours. The boss ended up having to comp me a PT session. D'yall now see that it's not jealousy but actual exclusion? Purposeful or not, it was hurtful. Anyway, ever protective of Ian because I DO treasure him as a one-time confidant and trainer, I told his boss in a way that would not hurt him in his job, but would still serve my needs. So, the boss knew there was an issue. Then after it seemed Ian didn't want to train with me anymore, I asked his boss how to handle my remaining sessions purchased as he was the person to ask. His boss, who shares too much with me as most people do, shared his 2c--he thinks Ian is bipolar and has known him for years. He said, "His highs and lows are too dramatic." That would explain a lot about why I've felt hit by this, y'know? Now, I don't agree with that assessment, but I think it makes for an interesting foundation for tomorrow's discussion. What do I think is going on...I think Ian got uncomfortable with how close we were, did not know how to handle it, handled it in a way that hurt me, I tried to fix it as I cared about him as a person AND about him as my tool for my goals...and then misperception after misperception, we ended up here, with him ignoring my needs, him not communicating, me an unhappy client, and the group dynamic off. I will say, I'm in a far better place than I was yesterday (thank you all) because I got through my hurt and anger to the point of control over getting what I need for myself. I need peace and I need communication and I need the right tool. That's what this is about. So, I am okay with this meeting. In fact, I'm prepared for it like it's a business meeting. I've printed out my emails--nothing has been written that couldn't be shared with his boss, and to point out--too much contact? Huh. Okay, well, do you consider 3 emails a week, one on progress, one in gratitude, and one informative about a session too many? Save it for session--okay, that's hard but something I have to adapt to. I live in an email world and this other approach is unfamiliar to me. LOL. Well, too many yesterday? Yeah--yesterday as **** happened with the team! handle instead face to face? How, where--impossible! And, inappropriate (if they go there)? Hardly. Emotional with gratitude and concern? Yes. Informative? Yes. I repeat, I have written nothing that couldn't be read by all. What do I want--to have the ease I had with him AND the tools I need. I would be content to have him and Karissa both train me, but I also want very much to have communication and peace with both of them. Now who knows, maybe they're going into this to ask me to leave the group (as Ian put it "to discuss issues that have come to light"???!!!). Screw the group, screw the competition, screw people who can't help me toward my goals. If you're not for me, you're in my way. But I'm a strong girl, I'll plow right through you, so step aside or get hurt. : P
I really don't understand this at all, to be honest. I don't go to the gym to get into complex relationships-- I go to get in better shape and that's that. I don't have time for middle school personalities after 3pm. I don't understand the draw.
Emailing the trainer? Just seems odd. Maybe inappropriate on both of your accounts. You asked for advice, so here it is: Stick to business. Be about business. If I have a student email me three times in a week, I assume they are needy and don't understand the nature of our relationship, so I explain it to them-- plainly. You're a student...so with the exception of emails explaining why one of you can't make a session, I'd can it. You don't need the drama. Move on from it. Your health is for you and that should be your focus-- it's not a kaffee klatsch or a slumber party, it's a chance to improve your health. Period. If there's too much nonsense around you, remove yourself, find another gym, and keep business there in the forefront in your mind.
"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U. Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift 12/08
Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09 -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
Total Cost: $33,500 Start wt: 368 RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150 Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7
