I stopped myself...but should I still feel guilty?

So I don't know how many people here know my situation, but basically I've gone from 257-155 pounds since November, 2006.  However, for almost a year, I've stalled at 155-165 and haven't been 100% serious about finishing it off.  I don't know if this is because I'm afraid of what happens next (seriously...skin...everywhere....minimum, I'll need a tummy tuck...breasts are also nonexistent except for the sagging has-beens that still...okay, I'll stop there) Anyway, I've finally made it my business to finish this thing and get down to my initial goal of 137 pounds, and enter maintenance-mode.  I've been extremely focused on this goal for the last 4 weeks, and haven't really cheated once in that time (except for a sip-seriously one sip-of a margarita...goddamn tequila!).  The weight is slowly moving in my favor..just really slowly. Losing this last section has really been tougher than all the other pounds combined...seriously, the end sucks! Anyway, so today I went over to the coffee shop to grab myself a coffee...so I spot the blueberry scones and impulsively said "I'll take one of those, too."  The sweetheart packages it up for me and I head back to work.  I open it up and mmm, my god it looks fabulous.  the big glittery pieces of sugar are seriously *twinkling* under the fluorescent lab lights I'm sitting under (I work in a lab...).  I break off a chunk and stop myself, thinking "how many calories are IN a scone, anyway?"  I do a quick google search and see that there's an estimated 500!!!  holy freakin crap!  So I think...well, 1/3 of a scone can't hurt, so I break off a third and hand the rest to my labmate (a skinny man who can eat anything and not gain an ounce.  I secretly hate him).  Then, I think to myself "gees, jules-this is still more than 100 calories...look at how small it is!  just that for 100 calories!"  so I break off *just* a bite sized amount, which I averaged to be between 20-40 calories, ate that, and handed the rest of the piece I had left to my labmate as well. Anyway, what I want to know is if you all ever feel guilty for doing even that small of a slip?  I mean, it was miniscule in comparison to what it could have been, but I still consciously made the decision to buy the scone...I still wanted to eat the whole damn thing.   Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we do so well with our diet and then blow it in one simple sitting?  It really drives me crazy!  ugh!

Guilt's kind of useless, but you certainly can learn. Say, "I dodged a bullet, whew!"

No guilt.  Wasted emotion over food. Moments will come and go and can teach ya lots of stuff.  In this case, you learned--it's not worth it--and figured out how to handle it (passing it to someone for whom it's not a bother).  Kudos to you.

I don't feel guilty over slips. I acknowledge them and accept them. Frankly, sometimes I slip on purpose. The reason is that I hate deprivation. If I allow myself a slip now and then, I stick to the rest of my eating plan MUCH easier. Even skinny people have "goodies" now and then. They just don't eat an over-abundance. You handled that situation quite nicely. You got a good taste of what I am sure was a fabulous tasting scone BUT you found a way to stop at a taste by giving the rest away. Very nicely done.  I hope you enjoyed your nibble. Take it for what it was...a treat and move on. You haven't hurt a thing and you did it once so you will know how to handle it next time around as well. Beth

We feel guilty because we take the current whimsical pleasure and trade it for our future goal that will ultimately result in daily pleasure. We feel guilty because we've given in to temptation.  We become disappointed in ourselves because a simple piece of flour and sugar won the battle. How could something as strong as us give into such a simple little measly scone??? Surely that means we are weak!!?  That's the root of the guilt there.  I think it's important to work on forgiving ourselves and working towards loving ourselves because of our variety...and realizing it is a war and one battle does not win the war. I think I'd like to change the golden rule for those of us who struggle with overcoming obesity. The majority of us are very kind to others and really go out of our way to serve them.... I vote for, "Do unto yourself as you would do unto your neighbor."    Of course you might want to add some caveats that you can no longer bring your neighbor cake and cookies.. :P

I say guilt has a function - to help you avoid it "next time", how to re-route! It never pays off to live in guilt or shame. I try hard to make sure I don't live there. I read this at work and was pondering it here and there this afternoon. I know for me, close to goal, I HAVE to be concerned - VERY concerned about a "mere 200 calories".  It's enough to not allow me to lose.  Your example was 100 calories, and you are in maintenance, but I think you get my drift. We got closer to goal or at goal by being obsessive, in my opinion! It's just that where does it end if we allow here and there to happen? I'd rather save a little splurge for the bigger stuff - special weekends, holidays, etc.

okay this is a problem with your interpretation. there is NOTHING wrong with scones! especially 1/3 of one. a balenced meal plan includes an occasional margarita or scone. to believe you will never have those things or that you wll berate yourself with guilt  if you do is setting yourself up for failure in the long run. the diet mentality of "falling off the wagon" "slipping up" "being bad" "cheating" is all part of the illusion and torture we put ourselves through that does not have any purpose or greater good. guilt is a completely and utterly useless emotion that does absolutely nothing for you. it makes you feel like you were somehow in complete control and you lost it when really no one is ever in total control. i would suggest working on the negative self-talk and the cognitive distortions that are leading to these feelings. as an aside, is 137 a realistic and maintainable weight for you to aim for? if you have been at a stable weight for more than a year, there may be a reason why (other than not being "serious") and don't be scared of the plastic surgery - its not too bad and certainly worth every penny.

Very good points, Andy! I too try to not label any food as bad, and you are right, all foods can fit into a balanced meal plan. I interpreted the scone purchase as impulsive and therefore maybe extra calories.  Which, as you say, is not the end of the world becasue 1/3 is not THAT much.  Hardly a binge. I am only beginning to accept my own judgment as part of my recovery from being compulsive with food choices.

Thank you for the word illusion - good way to look at it.