Substituting food... who else?

What do you do when you recognize it but then you bru**** off and later justify it? I've noticed substitution eating for a while in my life.  I can't quite put my finger on what triggers it exactly. Sometimes I think it's purely boredom and I eat to occupy my mind.  I'm pretty sure I don't eat to calm myself when I'm angry and I don't eat when I'm lonely. I haven't experienced true loneliness in a long time.  So I notice that I'm eating when I'm not hungry and I want to label that as emotional or substitution but to frank, I have no friggin clue why it is I want to eat.  After dinner is the worst!  Typically about an hour to two hours after dinner I tend to want a snack. Usually I want something sweet and salty. A PB&J or PB& syrup is my usual victim. Sometimes I'll try to justify it in my mind based on what I've eaten for the day.   Last week I threw out the SF jelly and the syrup.  Since I did that I haven't had a PB&J/S since. But still, I have those urges. I've recognized that since I threw the sweets out, now I've started eating more dinner.  I almost have been doing this subconsciously. I claim, "OMG, I'm starving!! I'm soooo hungry!".  So I'll load my plate up higher. I justify it! lol! It's FUNNY but so SAD at the same time.   Is this emotional....??? I tend to tell myself it's not emotional... rather what this sounds like to me is an addict.

I don't know how much of that is emotional and how much is your blood sugar when it comes to dinner.  The night time thing sounds like a craving to me caused by bs levels post prandial.  Two hours after dinner used to be my witching hour too. Of course I had to look this up last night.. lol.  I read something very interesting in that as children, for one reason or another, because our needs were satisfied with food (a "treat" for being good, no dessert for being bad, etc) that our wiring got screwed up somewhere along the line and we do the same things as adults.  If we're cranky, we learned that food will push that emotion away. I think why I'm recognizing what I'm doing at this point is because I'm NOT eating my way through it and allowing myself to feel the emotion.  Anger doesn't do it to me.. but sadness does.. lonliness does.. emptiness.... it makes me feel like I have the need to eat something.  As you know, with the low carb thing, hunger is virtually non-existent, so when I get up and open that fridge I know it can't be hunger. The behavior with me is so blatant that I wanna smack myself for not seeing this before.  I get up and go to the fridge.. look around.. then shut the door.  I could do this 10 times in a matter of a couple of hours.  I have "safe" food in there, and when need be I'll grab a couple of slices of turkey... but I don't want to address this by satisfying the need with safe food.  Ok...  so I sit back down and realize I feel like screaming "is there anybody OUT THERE".  <-- that's the proper response.  Heading to the fridge is not.   This article I read last night offered a wonderful suggestion.  Go through a day with jus****er and allow yourself to feel hunger.. real hunger.  Ok.. that's not going to make much sense for me because I can't trust "hunger".  Hunger could mean my blood sugar took off...  but it's not a bad idea.  I seem to remember (forgive me, my memory is not the best) that Neecee was involved in a thread about hunger sometime back... and if I remember correctly... the general consensus was that there is nothing wrong .. nothing bad about feeling hunger.  According to this article, it allows us to determine the difference between real hunger and head hunger.  When abstaining for a day, we actually get to feel the symptoms of hunger and learn to identify it. I think you recognize an issue because you said it outloud "I have no friggin clue why it is I want to eat".  If you were really hunger.. you'd know why... no?

Kriz & Lori, I did the SAME thing.  it was almost like even if I ate a TON of supper, it made me HUNGRIER! Remember I'm the Oreo + canned frosting chick! geeeezzz, embarrassing. In fact, that made me remeber one other thing that helped me:  i would imagine a video camera on me with my fatass into the fridge and the major shame THAT would bring. Sometimes that thougth alone would make me digress just a little. I think you hit it, Lori.  It must have been blood sugar issues. I did begin to conqer my night eats til many years down the road & i was able to afford better food - less fried potaotes, fatty meats, fresh produce.  Feeding my body real food helped me so much. And the other thing was to identify certain suppers that then and now triggered me:  red sauce (italian or mexican), rice, pasta, white bread will set me off.  And right, Lori...hunger is NOT bad - we just hate it. I still wrestle with that one.  It distracts me like nothing else. It blows me away when I hear someone say calmly I'm hungry then they DON'T go directly to the fridge/cupboard.  I wanna be that guy! I am almost that guy - I try to wait for a while at least, and lots of times I do not go cram food - I do forget about it.

Oh, I have done this, a repeat performance many days for many years! Not so much now - I am grateful that those moments are few and far between now.  I worked hard to get here, so i must mention that. I went to OA like 4 years, some weeks 2-3x a week. It was a great way for me to grab more insight and find tools and comfort to get past that.  it still took years...so those out there who are still out of control, it will come. I will share one tool called HALT. I review these four places first to see what to do: Hungry:  stop and ask - am I hungry - when and what was the last thing I ate? Maybe it is simply time to eat - not a binge call.  If I know I am not hungry, just bored, it's time to find something else to do! Angry: this used to be my main trigger.  I reduced the sources of anger in my life (bad marriage, money problems, kids moved out LOL - etc).  AND i know how to manage my anger.  It is not a bad thing to feel anger - unless you do fool things like empty the fridge.  Lonely:  my close second to why I ate! This is where I must call someone who loves me, or reach out.  Maybe I feel lonely because I have not been a good friend - maybe I need to invite soemone over or send a letter! Tired:  just review if i am really tired rather than hungry, then rest!  I never took time to time out til i learned more about all this.

That's a very useful tool... I have to try to commit that to any memory that may be left in the 3 brain cells I'm workin' with.