Losing weight through surgery-- "cheating" or accomplishment?

I've heard it both ways-- and I am still of the opinion that it doesn't matter how you do it as long as you pick an approach that you are willing and able to live with for life. That's the hard part. I think it's all in the approach. If you sit back on your laurels, pick a surgeon, your Blue Cross ponies up, you have the thing done, and you eat whatever you like and let the surgery do it's thing--well, fact is-- that *will* work, to an extent. For a while. And better with some surgeries than others. I approached it differently. You guys all know I dropped almost 70 pounds first (with your encouragement.) Since surgery there has not been one unplanned day of eating-- I document everything online, play with the numbers, look for the right balance of weight loss and decent nutrition. I exercise and generally just move much more often than I could or did, pre-op. I read everything I can get my hands on, and put it to work. I prepare all my meals myself-- haven't had fast food in a year, no bread, bagels, Doritos, donuts, chips, or pasta in a year either-- although I *can* eat them, I don't. With the exception of small birthday treats (planned)-- I haven't eaten sugar either--even though I can (I do not dump on sweets.) I eat measured amounts. I plan everything. I guess you could say I am doing it the hard way in a sense, but this way, I get to not only experience the benefits, but own some of it as an accomplishment, which is nice. What do you think?

I think you're doing it the "smart" way.  You might have this tool in place.. but the tool in itself teaches you nothing.  Yes.. I agree that what you are doing is difficult, it's complicated, it's time consuming and sometimes frustrating... but you are taking out an insurance policy on your long term success by doing what you are doing!  I think the surgery is wonderful.. it's a great safety net... but it's not for the faint of heart and way too many people jump into it without understanding the lifelong responsibility.  By the time YOU went into the surgery, you were already owning up to that responsibility.  I got a lot of respect for that. "Eat what you want just because you think you can get away with it" is not a responsible attitude in my very humble opinion.   I've read that people suffer many complications as a direct result of that attitude.  It brings to mind the ol' binge and purge (I admit I'm guilty of this).  Now THAT's cheating!  But the cheater is ONLY cheating him/herself out of the benefits of learning healthy habits. One of the things which frightened me the most about wls was reading about folks who "regain".. and those are the population of wls patients you refer to when you say "that *will* work, to an extent.  For a while."  Maybe the WLS community should change it's criteria to include LIVING the responsibility for 6 months prior to the surgery.. .. now THERE's a learning experience!

 

I don't disagree with that idea. Sadly, many people who opt for WLS have lived the "diet" lifestyle for 6 months already, over and over, ad nauseam-- and are at the end of their collective ropes.  I never dieted, so I still had a lot of fight left in me, I think. And since I am still on the first (and hopefully only, ohpleaseohplease) diet of my life, my metabolism cuts me many breaks that others just don't get. "Regain" is a fact of life for all of us-- I never make statements like "I lost 150 pounds FOREVER!" for just that reason. Vigilence will need to be life-long, for all of us-- but the way I see it, I had 39 years of doing whatever the hell I wanted, and now, it's time to pay up.

What you are doing is what I am trying to do. You, however, have an edge over me. I do not mean this in a derogatory way at all. I am restricting what I eat trying to avoid surgery in the long run. It's not that I won't have the surgery, I just really want to know if I really can do this completely on my own before I go down that road. Ok so the edge you have over me is that it becomes easier for you to restrict what you eat than I simply because you have a tool that physically limits your intake where I must mentally do it and hope that it becomes a life long habit.  I say as long as you are doing the work to lose the weight then your pouch is a tool and only a tool. It's not a miracle but it sure does help you create a miracle. Keep using it and workin' it, everyone deserves a little help now and then. Beth

I think it's wise to do what you can on your own, first. Or you'll always wonder if you could have. I lost 70 pounds in four months-- so I knew I could lose weight. The issue for me was one of keeping it off: I spent several years working and socializing in size acceptance circles, and encountered a great many SMO people who lost a lot of weight, only to regain and cause themselves tremendous heartache. My mother, father, grandmother and uncle all took this route, and are larger now than ever before for their journey. I was not willing to be among this group: it simply is too painful for me to contemplate. My experience with SMO people (like yourself, and myself-- over 60 BMI) is that they can generally lose about 100 pounds pretty easily, but then they tend (YMMV!) to hit a plateau which is very hard to budge. With my co-morbidities, I would have still had a lot of trouble at 268 pounds, so I knew that sort of loss would simply not be enough to alleviate my illnesses and pain. I needed better odds, so I took a surgical route to help me continue my losses and keep me from regain.  Odds still aren't great, but they're lookin' better!

OK... let me be philosophical here.

To see something as cheating implies that it's a deceptive way to gain a benefit.

WHO is being decieved? family? friends? society? YOU?

If you look at the ultimate goal- having a long and healthy life, then isn't it cheating youself out of that goal for life NOT to take any opportunity available to be your best self?

So, in other words INACTION is the ulimate cheating- because you are cheating yourself out of a healthy longer life.

Judge yourself by how you have prolonged your life rather than by the tool.  The tool is inconseqential really.

Told you I was being philosophical!

  

Em

You've been around enough to know where I am on this. I truly beleive two factors are pretty important before considering WLS:  age and amount of weight to lose.  In my mind, if you are age 40 and 100# MO, you will not LIKELY lose a meaningful amount of weight without WLS.  Sure, people do, but they are truly few and far between. Once a person has arrived at 100# and more, bodies rebel on so many levels. Plus, the added angle of meaningful exercise is not gonna happen when you have that kind of weight that has likely caused joint, bone damage by that stage. When a person is age 29 and considering WLS, I feel less supportive on some levels.  Chances are at that stage of life, that person has not *really* done the hard work (eating way less low nutrient foods, exercise daily).  There are exceptions, always.  The end DOES justify the means when age and amount of weight is considered.  NOTHING is a guarantee of keeping it off except doing the right things. Cheating?  no, don't get how it is cheating at all.  It is a viable option, that's all.

I say do what ya gotta do. I think it is an accomplishment non and surgical. If you can lose it...lose it the way you know how and what works for you! So celebrate!!! ;)

I agree that its' in how you define cheating.  You do have an advantage, is that cheating?  No, but it's apples and oranges.  I've never liked folks calling WLS cheating as it has its risks and side effects that can be pretty hard to manage.  But we don't have the malabsorption you do, which gives you a speedy and near guaranteed loss.  Ours is much more trial and error as to what works. I do say congrats on how far you've come.  But me, I hope to never pursue WLS.

Speaking for myself, I know that I'm struggling to lose the weight, even with the damn band in my belly.  So anything I lose is an accomplishment and far from cheating.  WLS is NOT the easy way out.