I want to eat the pain away

You don't know me over here so I'll explain: I have a Lap Band that did not and has not worked.  I can eat as much as I want when I want and get hungry.  Basically most of my Banding I've been like  a No-Op. Anyways, I got banded because no matter how I tried I could no longer diet - something that I used to be good at.  My weight really got out of control following a dance accident in which I had to have my knee reconstructed. - that blew and I had to have a second surgery.  Always being a very active person, I packed  on weight because I lost my mobiltiy - hell, I was depressed and ate more too.  which I could not lose by myself nor with help of OA, WW, and everything else under the sun.  At 267lbs my quality of life sucked big time - everything hurt, my knees were cracking, popping, and  crunching  and I was huffing and puffing.  That weight was too much for ME - for my body. So with the band I could not diet no matter how much I tried every single day - they say the disease of compulsive overeating is progressive.  I had weight loss surgery and could not lose weight and when I did I gained it back only to be ashamed.  I'm a healthy food volume eater. Friday I joined Weigh****chers for the 3rd or 4th time.  It never worked for me before!  Saturday I woke up and had no desire to overeat - it seems my compulsion was lifted.  I've been doing great these past couple of days.  The point system keeps me accountable and busy. The thing is the feelings are coming in full-force and I'm wanted to overeat again.  I just won't give my feelings the power over my body still what do I do?  How do I not eat  on my emotions, how do I not fill the voids with food.  I've had lots of  therapy too in this arena yet I never seem to be able to control myself.  I'm praying  . . .  gonna pray right now. If you all don't mind, I'd like to stay here and lose my weight with you all and Weigh****chers. Best, Laylah

The more the merrier!  I'm sure we can help you!  It's a great group here. I think I have met you before or have at least seen you post. I think you posted on the DS board once or twice. Seems like a crazy question but did you get the adjustable lapband? If so, have you had any fills? I'm surprised you didn't feel any restriction with the band.

Hi Chris! Yup, I'm often on the DS forum and was trying for a revision.  Are you post-op  DS? God, I still love my band, it saved my life.  I had the intial post-op stomach swelling which caused restriction and quieted hunger during my first couple of weeks while I was doing the clear liquid, full liquid, mushy, then cautious with regular food diet.  I lost that 30lbs and Never gained it back 30 pounds was all it took to  relieve me of my pain. Right out the door, my hosing had a leak and my port was cracked.  5 mos later I was approved to  had to have a revision (would have been much sooner, but the crazy docs office never submitted paperwork - this was the CORI Center).  So, I finally get to have my first real fill - I hear my doc may be leaving depending on a contract negotiation - he lives out-of-town.  The next month I go for a second fill.  I get obstructed for 8 days - I can't eat or drink with the exception of 1 hour at midnight where I drink a quart of Muscle Milk and water.  My doc is gone and no medical professional will touch me because of liability issues (did ya know no one can touch you for a certain amount of time?) . . .  a whole bunch of crap happens inbetween, but I've not been able to take an adjustment without having "issues" like night coughing, choking, reflux etc.  Now I have a dilated esophogas - go figure! Happy Trails to you . . .

So you're not going to get a revision? Do you think you'll go for a another fill?

Well my doc dictated a letter for my insurance company last  Wed for a revision to the VSG.  I hear getting an approval for a "sleeve" is incredibly difficult.   I've had so many fills and unfills. With my dilation now I have to be careful - so a fill is a no go.  I'm doing weigh****chers in the meanwhile or who knows, I may learn to be one of the 2-5% of dieters that loses and keeps their weight off ;-).  What a damned merry-go-round.  I thought I had enough spins.  We all have to do what is necessary to keep us.  I can't gain anymore.

Hey Laylah - We've spoken before on the band board, but I migrate here for support from these fabulous people.  I'm doing WW too right now.   Best of luck!

Hi Janina! How are you doing with your band? Following Weigh****chers points and calculating my calories on the side is really keeping me accountable. It's a good program for me this time around.  Only thing is I'm getting really sad right now when I've been so upbeat.  I need to break this thing ASAP - that is why I'm just shouting it out so that I don't eat. Are you watching American Idol?  So many of the guys are great and cute this season!!! Tonight it's the girls.  I exercise or clean during every commerical break. Thanks Janina.  I'm going to start writing my food on your post. Best of luck to you too.  We can do this any how!!!

Hey Laylah. Please stick around! You can deal with this, I promise. It sounds like you might feel more comfortable in a group therapy-type setting...in which case, I hear Weigh****chers is great, and then there's us, and since I see you are a fellow New Yorker, you might want to look into something like an eating disorders group at Renfrew New York. All I can say is that while I'm pretty obviously not at the end of the weight loss game (will I ever be? even if the weight comes off?), I KNOW that it pays to never give up, try whatever you need to try, and KEEP GOING. XO

Hey Layla, I just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain -- literally -- as I suffered with my Lap Band as well -- for way too long.  I was never one that it worked for either.  I had to have mine out (Nov last year) because it was to the point it was not allowing me to eat anything good for me (had to eat the sugary, liquidy, calorie filled stuff most of the time).  I know it's really frustrating.  But I do want to say that it is still possible to get the weight off.  This is a great group of people here and even though I am not one of the ones that posts as much as some others (because I don't like to sound like I'm whining all the time when I'm frustrated!) I do lurk and read and LEARN all the time from everyone.  Please stick around -- it's a great support system!

Welcome, Laylah.  I too am doing WW (points) and Janina's food post helps keep me accountable....even more so than getting on that scale at WW every week.  I had a day yesterday that all I wanted to do was eat.  Try to keep your fresh veggies and fruits available for that non-stop eating.  I'm not familiar with the lap band, so maybe that's not possible for you.  Anyway...when you fall off the wagon (and we all do at times), just start over THAT SAME DAY and your losses will start adding up. Good luck to you!