Accountability..just venting

Well I've had a tough week.  I already quit my job.  The field is what I love, but the position was NOT for me.  Too much billing and paper work than I care for.  I need to see and work with employees, with people.  This job had me in a corner punching in numbers while I would hear questions be thrown at my boss and I just wanted to yell out the answer since I use to have her job in a different place.  What got me is that a coworker asked me to make her labels!  I know, petty stuff, but it just irked me the wrong way.  Make your own damn labels! ha  I did notice my boss come straight over and talk with her.    It just wasn't me, I need a little bit more excitement and challenging stuff to do.  Soooo I'm back at looking for jobs!

As for my weight, well that's one reason why I haven't been on the boards.  I think the misery of that job has made me eat like crazy.  But theres no excuses, I'm the one that puts things in my mouth.    I'm really wanting to go back to a doctor but I can't afford it right now.   It really seems like if I don'****ch what I eat for two days I gain at least a pound.  If I watch what I eat I remain the same.  I'm struggling SO hard just to keep at 300, and that's not even thinking about losing.  I'm getting aggrevated and confused again about what to do.  It seems like an endless thing with me.  I feel like a broken record.  I can't afford bariatric foods right now, or a doctor.  So I have to figure out something on my own.  All of this talk is making me wonder if my insulin resistance is causing it.  I've never really looked into it.  The doctor did tell me I had it, and one doctor put me on metformin, but I stopped going to him.  UGHH!!  But then again, I do know I eat bad at least every other day, so like I said..no excuses.  Just seems like I should be doing better than this.

I have been considering buying Alli to see if it gives me the boost I need.  I need something just to get me going.  I almost bought some the other day but I chickened out at the last moment.  Lol, think I'm scared of the stuff.  But that would be one way to keep the bad foods away for a while! 

Awwe Holly, please don't be so hard on yourself.  If you have been diagnosed with insulin resistance and put on metformin, then a very low fat diet like you would have to sustain with Alli could probably make you gain weight.  I know I did. If I were to eat a bowl of fat free pasta, my body would produce so much insulin, and then not utilize those calories for energy, that ALL of that insulin would turn to fat.  So it's the way your body is wired that is what's wrong with you, you just have to learn to diet around the insulin resistance.  So carbs are what you need to deal with in your diet, not low fat.  Some of us are severely insulin resistant and have to seriously limit carbs, and some can have more and still lose weight.  It's a matter of finding out what works for you. I pray you find what works for you, Mary

Thanks, ya know I didn't look at it that way.  So I'm glad I didn't buy the stuff!  You are right on one thing, carbs are it for me.  I LOVE them, but they hate my body so much. But then if I stop eating them, my sugar level gets low and I start shaking, heart pounding, you get the picture.  So this is where I'm stuck.   I remember when I had gestational diabetes my sugar level would sky rocket on plain white rice.  Then I could eat peanut butter and be fine.  At the time I thought that was the strangest thing.  I guess finding that "medium" is where it is.  Lol, that's tough tho!  How did you figure it out??

Good Lawd Woman, if I were to eat white rice, my scale would be screaming bloody murder, saying..."You Ate What!" Our bodies crave carbs when we are insulin resistant because the cells are starving, but no insulin is allowed in to convert those carbs to energy.  It's an addiction to carbs. Picture this:  Shaking, heart pounding, low sugar.  Doesn't that sound like an addict going through withdrawals?  It also can be accompanied by headaches.  That's what's happening to you when you are detoxing off of all of those processed, refined carbs.  It actually can take about three days for detox before you hit that low carb high. But once it hits, then it's smooth sailing.  You're not having the cravings and the symptoms from carbs. You also need to take a good B Complex supplement to help convert that protein to energy.  Very important! You could try going very low carb and seeing how your weight loss is going.  Then slowly start adding natural carbs until you see the point that you are not losing anymore, and then you know what your limit is for weight loss. And if you had gestational diabetes, then I'm sure your doctor told you that you are pre diabetic.  Better to start now while it is still controllable with diet and exercise. Mary

I havent gone low carb since my last incident.  My heart was pounding so bad that I thought I was going to either have a heart attack or pass out.  That  scared me so I didn't go back to the doctor.  I did call the nurse and she said it sounded like my blood sugar was low, but thought it was unusual for it being like day four or five of the diet.  Since then I haven't done any kind of low carb, that was scary!  It was also a 1000 calorie diet so that might have had something to do with it too....hmmmmm. :)

A thousand calories, in my opinion, is NOT enough calories to sustain muscle mass.  But I did Atkins to lose weight, and never gave a second thought to counting calories.  I know some of the other women here have issues with too many calories on Atkins, but that was NOT an issue for me.  I'm sure there were some days that I didn't make it to a thousand calories because I just wasn't hungry, but if I was hungry, this former fat girl ate!  And I still eat, just not carbs. And if your blood sugar gets too low, eat something like a sweet potato or a piece of low glycemic fruit.  Where there's a will, there's a way! Mary

Thanks. I've actually been thinking about South Beach basically for a few days now.  I tried it once before, but never made it past the two week mark.  Yes..addicted to carbs I am! :)  THink I'll take it more seriously into thought!!  I can't remember freaking out too bad on it though, so it might of been the combo between low cal and low carb.

Thanks! 

South Beach is the diet that Donna is on and she lost several small children!  So I figure that has got to be a great diet. That and SugarBusters is good, too.  I was on Atkins to lose weight, and I use SugarBusters to maintain my weight, because I am extremely carb sensitive.  If I'm eating normally, I'm gaining weight, so it's the good fight for the rest of my life, now.  But it sure feels good! Mary 

Look in the pharmacy, by the stuff for diabetics or maybe right on the counter... you'll see a roll of "carb tablets".  Each tablet delivers 4 carbs.  If your blood sugar is low (and you can figure out when it's gonna do that by testing), chew a tablet.  It's not going to deliver so much in the way of calories, but it will give you just the right amount of carbs to bring your sugar level back up.  I used to carry them with me. By testing you will find out what causes your insulin response.  Before there was pasta and bread, the human race didn't do so badly (or we wouldn't be here).  If you get your carbs from broccoli and zucchini and romaine lettuce and a wide array of many other veggies.. I don't think your sugar will drop. Test, test test test test test..  run through them strips while trying to figure out what you react to and what doesn't bother ya.

 

Oh cool, I never knew they had that! South Beach is looking better and better now.  I'll have to go look for them in the store.  I don't have diabetes, but if my sugar level drops it gets scary!  So this will at least put my mind at ease that I have it.

THanks!