VERY down.. gained almost 10 lbs in the last few days

Sometimes I think that this sh*t is for the birds.  I haven't worked out at all since Wednesday.. and since Wednesday I put on almost 10 lbs.  I just can't believe it... I don't know how this is humanly possible. Maybe the loss in itself was just a fluke. I feel like running away from home. Got TOM for the 3rd time in a month.. this is a trip.  I'm so bored that I wanna slam something up against the wall.  I don't want to clean.. I'm sick and tired of cooking... laundry.. sick and tired of being useless. Yea.. I ate.. but didn't hit 2000 calories..  I feel like these walls are closing in on me here... same sh*t every freakin' day.  Eat, scale, obsess, laundry, cleaning, cooking, fighting for time on the internet.. laying on the couch chain smoking... waiting on NOTHING every single day.   10 lbs...  talk about an affront to my efforts...

I can't really speak to the medical side of this, because I know you have some challenges on that front that I don't, and don't know enough about to analyze...HOWEVER...I still have something to say here! You didn't put on 10 pounds of pure fat since Wednesday. Period. The quicker you forgive yourself for eating more than usual (that's just hard for me to process because even from reading your posts, it does NOT sounds like a lot at all!) the easier it will be to forget this. When are you getting back to working out? Or do you have an injury right now? I'm telling you that this can be overcome relatively quickly. I wish I had someone there telling me that all the times I thought my speedbumps were the END OF THE WORLD. You need to journal, call a friend, meditate, or do whatever works for you right now to give yourself the forgiveness you deserve... I know it hurts because you have been working so hard but I promise it is not a big deal!!!

I can't even fathom 10 lbs of fluid!  I just can't process this!  Yanno.. this weight loss has been the only thing keeping me sane and I feel like I've lost the drive to continue.. why bother? I'm supposed to try to workout again on Tuesday... but .. as of this moment.. I don't care if the house caves in so... who knows. 

WHATEVER you do, do not give up on your Tuesday workout. The first day of forcing yourself to feel like everything is back to normal, well, that's always hard. But force yourself through it and you really will FEEL normal in no time! I promise!!! Now, if you wallow in this, you WILL screw yourself over. I have been there. If you want to do the responsible thing, you will do everything in your power to forgive & forget...and you will be over it in no time. I repeat: you have NOT gained 10 pounds of PURE FAT in 3 days!!!

Hey Lori, it sounds like you are riding hard on the hormone express.  I spent a lot of time on that train and it's a very lonely ride.  Add to the fact that part of the cure is exercise, it doubles the frustration that you aren't able to move. And knowledge that the weight gain is fluid retention doesn't make it easier to deal with, either.  Fluid weight is more aggravating because of the bloat that goes with it.  But your weight loss was NOT a fluke.  It's still there under all of tha****er in your tissues.  And as long as you are not overeating, it's still there. One of the problems with the hormone fluctuations is fatigue and depression, so please take that into account when you are feeling like crap.  Are you taking a really good vitamin regimen to help balance your hormones?  That is one of the things that helped to 'fix' me.  Sorry you are having to go though this, and keep venting, it's good for the soul, whether it feels that way at the time or not!   Mary

You said it better than I could! Hang in there, Lori.

What other choice do I have?  I have no choices.. none... it's not like I can just run to the beach with a guitar and strum this out of myself.  I have no friends...  my sisters are long distance with lives of their own, the kids only come out of their room for food .. then disappear again.  I don't even have a church here!  Yea... this is the life... eat, sleep and obsess over the scale. I'M GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!

Lori... I'm fairly new here and don't know all your cir****tances, but agree...you know this is jus****er weight...especially with as screwed up as your TOM is!!  Talk about hormones gone wild!  Sometimes I think we all need a mental health day....go ahead and wallow in all your feelings.  You can pick yourself up by the bootstraps tomorrow and start another day in the right direction.  Not sure about your limitations with the physical exercise right now...but can you just get out and take a long walk?  That always helps clear my mind...I can curse and scream and cry and feel sorry for myself and somehow always come back feeling better. I had a day like that on Thursday....home remodeling project from hell here and learned the subcontractor was putting a lien on my house cause he hasn't been paid by the contractor.  I was really stressed out and instead of going to exercise or  taking out my frustrations some other way...I headed right for the food (sweets and all and I gave them up for Lent).  Well my WW weigh in this morning showed a 2.5lb gain...not happy but it's over and done with and I'll do better next week.  I'm angry with myself for using food to stuff my emotions....should know better, but it's an ongoing process and we're not gonna be perfect always. This too shall pass....go ahead and feel the emotions....just don't eat through them like I did.  You have been so dedicated to your program.....be kind to yourself and forgive this bump in the road.  We're all here pulling for you. Sherrie

I don't think it's "eating through them" that scares me...   It's "eating then sticking my fingers down my throat" which scares me more.

I ate 2 pieces of bacon and about 1/2 scrambled egg for breakfast (I made three and took a spoonful, then gave the rest to Jon).

I ate a lean hamburger patty with an over easy egg on it for lunch

The coffee is a flowin'......  I just stepped away from the sugar free french vanilla for half n half w/2 splendas

I picked up a new script of Lasix and now P'ing like a racehorse

Getting through this day is gonna be a trip and a half.

I can't EVEN IMAGINE what you're going through at home!  The only home improvement projects that are done here are done by me and I WISH I had some materials right now.. I could get into redoing the bathroom.. but.. why bother?  No one ever notices but me.

 

 

No vitamins...  I'm too freakin' lazy.  I have to take statins, I'm out of lasix, I take potassium with that and I've been eating soma like tic tacs all week (there's only 1 left out of a month's supply.

I'm moving better now... I was actually able to pull up my shorts and put on a bra all by myself like a big girl.  I'm just too lazy to get on the lifecycle.  I did 3 loads of laundry and washed dishes and cleaned the kitchen to the best of my ability.  Heaven FORBID my daughter pitch in ova heah...  I go to sleep with no dishes.. wake up to a counter full of dishes and crap all over the place.. EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. I'd like to jump in the stang and take off to Jersey for a few days.. but then I gotta deal with the GUILT of leaving Jon to fend for himself cause there's no way my kid will cook him a meal, prepare his lunch or iron his shirts.  Last time I took off for a week, he threatened to go off his diet... I just can't deal with this crap anymore.   Hormones or no hormones....  this is not a life... being here is a death sentence.. I actually miss just laying around waiting to die when I was 310 lbs.  At least I had something to look forward to then... well .. maybe I do again... 10 lbs in a few days.. God only knows where I'll be in a few weeks.