Eat a cookie!

OK so I had one of those uncomfortable moments at work today.  There is a larger woman who works in the area I am in (luckily she doesn't work directly with me) and she's been known to be kinda grumpy from time to time.  It's obvious she is one of those glass half empty folks! So this morning I was sitting at my desk eating my morning yogurt and turkey sausage links..... and another girl we work with was asking me about the turkey sausage -- asking if I liked it, blah blah -- well Miss Negativity sits fairly close to us and kept rolling her eyes and giving dirty looks at us -- I actually didn't notice -- the other girl did.  Well, an HR person came in with some of those BIG HONKIN MUFFINS and offered them, and I said, "no thank you."  THAT WAS ALL I SAID.  And Miss Negativity gets out of her chair, walks into the room to get one of the big honkers, and then turns to me and says, "what is wrong with you?  what?  you can't even eat a free muffin?  they aren't good enough for you?"  I said, "I wasn't trying to offend anyone, I just already have breakfast here so I really don't want one."  So she says, really loud as she is walking away, "Some people get on my nerves, acting like they're all special, eating their special, HEALTHY food -- EAT A DAMN COOKIE!"  We just all sat there looking at eachother.  WHERE does that come from?  HOW did I ask for that reaction?  Surely it must be coming from some discomfort or something within herself because I don't understand how anything that was said between any of us could have called for all of that.  I honestly haven't even discussed my eating habits with anyone at work.  A few people have taken notice that I have lost a little weight, and I have acknowledged it, but it isn't like it was in a public forum.  My gosh!  What do you all think....how would you have handled it?

I would have asked her if she was the food police.  Why does she care what you eat.  She is probably a crab because of her weight and maybe she's not truly happy.  She sounds like she is jealous that you are trying to do something about your weight and she isn't.  That's her problem. You go girl! Brenda

Yeah, she's sounds like a jealous old bitty.  She's probably disgusted with herself but has dieted so many times that she's completely appalled by the thought of it.  Rightly so I guess.  We've all been there. Sick of dieting, sick of gaining, sick of it all to the point that we're ill and unhappy all the time. I suppose I can understand her reaction but that still doesn't make it right.  I think you should probably say something to her on the side.  Be assertive and tell her how you comments made you feel. I always like to assume good intentions at first.  She may not have thought her comments were hurtful. Perhaps she thought they were enlightening, informative or maybe even comical. Either way, you owe it to yourself to stand up to her. Not confrontationally of couse. that'd be just as wrong. I imagine this woman doesn't have many friends. That could be another reason for her lack of social skills. Otherwise you can let it roll off your shoulder and keep on keeping on. that sometimes is a good approach too.

At first I was gonna say "eff her!"  But I agree with Chris, assume she's just clueless(and jealous), and then if she doesn't get it let it roll off your back.   I admire your self control - with the muffins!  My hand would have involuntarily shot out to grab one!

OMG... what's with that!?  Ick! That woman is MORE than "half empty" !!!  Holy-o-moses.... I would think since this happened in front of the rest of your co-workers... the management should have stepped in and had their OWN discussion with her... about her rudeness and her confrontational behavior AT WORK. I like the way Chris put it: "lack of social skills" .............. I'm not nearly as NICE as Chris.... I call that: "socially retarded" I agree with everyone else on the kudos to you for resisting the muffin!!  I'd have management deal with her nastiness.... and keep on doing what your doing! I think you are making HER face what SHE needs for HERSELF... and that is bothering HER.  In other words... HER OWN ISSUE. You're doing GREAT!!  

Well, that is just jealousy, I think...she had NO right to tell you what you should or shouldn't be eating.  If she has a problem with the way you handle yourself with food, maybe she doesn't have that sort of self-control.

Again, it's jealousy rearing its ugly head, and maybe she IS clueless that those comments are hurtful to you. There are so many influences out there at work and people who try to pressure you into having what you simply CAN'T have or aren't allowed to have because of WLS or just your diet. She probably has no willpower, and by you stating you just had breakfast and weren't hungry some people don't get it.  I'd understand if she said, "Take one so you can eat it later..." instead of being...well...a bit snooty about it...to put it mildly. You go!  Tell her you don't appreciate her comments and hopefully she'll get off your case.  Perhaps you could be one to be a healthy food example, and people can see how diligent you are in your food decisions. Keep up the great work!

Yes, jealousy.  She has her own issues with a) food, b) success and c) others succeeding where she isn't.   IMO, the best way to deal with this is to be silent or just say, hey, it works for me, that's all I need. Instead of letting the incident get to you, turn it around and see it as you're succeeding and others see it.

I agree with you all that she is most likely jealous and uncomfortable with herself and therefore taking it out on me.  I mean we HAVE all been there -- I know I have been.  But I think she took it a little too far.  I was just in shock.  Granted, I have only been here since last October, so I am still getting to know how people are, etc... and they are still getting to know me, but....umm....  that was just weird. I know when I desperately wanted to lose and didn't have the willpower I would just secretly (and quietly) be envious -- I certainly didn't take out my frustration on other people.

I probably WON'T say anything to her about it directly at this point because I don't know her that well and if it is really uncomfortable for her right now (which I would say it obviously is) then I don't want to make a bad situation worse.  However, if anything like this happens again, I will say something to her.  I have a right not to be uncomfortable either......but I'll take it this time.....just once though! 

Yea, everyone hit it, I think it's jealousy also.  Either that or she just doesn't even want to accept the fact that she's over weight and ejoys it to where she thinks everyone should love food like she does.  Either way, you did good! :)  

Last time I lost weight I was very strict on not letting any other employees bug me about what I eat.  I remember turning down so many lunches because I just didn't want to be around it.  I was on the liquid diet at the time and no one understood.  They just kept saying, come on..one time isn't going to hurt you.  One guy (the only guy) in our office always stood up for me and told them to mind their own business and to leave me alone.  That at least I was doing something about it, unlike them!hehe  He was so much fun. :)

So more power to ya! 

next time grab a muffin and throw it at her... LOL ok maybe not or you could let her know that she should have TWO so that yours doesnt go to waste... hmmmm OR you could answer that you are in fact to good for a 450 calorie muffin.  YOU deserve better...  LOL   Yeah.. I like that last one