Body Dismorphic

Anyone else experiencing this?

I had this as a child and on into my teens. I was over conscious about my man boobs.  Even now sometimes I catch a peek in a window and I freak out.  I don't necessarily know if it was BDD at the time but thinking back on it now it sure seems that way. I obsessed about them and constantly tugged at my shirt to try and hide the fact I had tits.   Doesn't  bother me so much anymore though.  Perhaps because I've gotten older and larger so now they just kinda hang there and make me look pumped!  hahah  Thinking about it more thoroughly... Overall, I still think about my size and the way I look for long periods of time.  I think about what I look like many times throughout the day.  How I sit, how I walk, how I talk... all is done in ways to mask my size.  So yeah... perhaps I'm still suffering from this but not to the extent that I did as a child.

Kriz, Tits make you look pumped.  You totally crack me up! Brenda

If you think that's funny then you should watch me flex them!! 

LMAO! They never made me looked pumped. What'd I miss! I do not suffer from this though. The **** i see in the mirror is 100% real. Disturbing to say the least... -Bud

I think i am thin....  it is always a shock when I see myself in a window or something....

yup...body image works both ways, too, for me.  Most of my life I have felt like a big conspicuous ugly cow. Some of my fatter years, i am not sure I realized what a big fat cow i had turned into. I think, and still fear that I am perhaps too complacent about my size. Luckily i can now afford nice clothes, so I'm not stuck with big K-mart floweredy shirts or anything. Unluckily, one cannot *really* hide the fatness.  I have an ED, too, which is part of that body dysmorphia scene.  I can at long last say i truly love my body more than I hate it.

I don't think I CLINICALLY have BDD but I have definitely lived through many of the typical behaviors of someone who does.  The reason I feel like I hit "rock bottom" and want to get this weight off "this time" is because I did get to the point where I felt like my weight and appearance was a constant obsession for me.  I was finding myself avoiding family/friend functions because I knew people would just be thinking, "oh my god, she's gained so much weight."  It was made worse for me by the fact that I did lose a lot of weight with the LapBand surgery and gained most of it back before having it removed.  I felt like all of the same people who were commenting how great I looked as I lost the weight, must surely be noticing my gain now, and thinking, "oh my god, how could she do that to herself."  It has affected my relationships (namely with my fiance who thinks I'm beautiful either way) because my self-esteem has been SO low.  I know that my weight and my general view of my appearance has held me back in life and it's sad.  I think I haven't had the confidence to go for certain things, interview for certain jobs, date certain people, etc..... Like Neecee (I think) said though, it has gone both ways for me.  When I was at my heaviest (which isn't much more than I am now) I didn't really see myself as heavy as I actually was.  Yes, I knew I was fat and felt like a cow when I would try clothes on or see myself naked -- but when I would walk past a mirror or a window and catch my reflection it would just catch me off-guard sometimes -- like wow, have I really gotten that big?  And I know, for example, after I had begun to lose the weight after LapBand, I looked back at old photographs of myself and thought, OH MY GOD, I knew I was big, but I didn't see myself as big as I really was. I don't know if any of this makes sense to anyone else.  I guess basically it was like I was so obsessed about what I looked like and felt SO bad about it that you would think I was in reality about how bad it was -- but even then, looking back on it, I still didn't realize how bad I had gotten -- I guess I got used to myself the way I was and was trying so hard to convince myself I wasn't "that bad".... OK I'm rambling, sorry....

I know I avoided full length mirrors.  I concentrated more on my face than my body.  I think I tried to block out what my body looked like.  I know sometimes when I was in the grocery store and catch a glimpse of my reflection, I would think, damn girl you've got a buffalo ass.  Disgusting.  My husband tells me that the things that upset me or I don't like I hide from them, not just weight stuff either.  He says he likes my big butt, but he's nuts. Brenda

I keep having "moments".  Lately, it's been that I see my reflection with me at the side and am surprised that looks so slim. Then it's about clothes.  I really need to "downsize", but I'm trying to wait until spring, but I'm not sure I can.  Clothes with elastic waists of course make things easy,  but when you can hold your skirt out a foot to your side, it's time to get smaller clothes.  I keep thinking, what I grab will be fine, then dress and say, "Okay, this has got to go."