Are we really different?

I must admit something here.  Years ago when I went to the doctor for a check-up I asked her for a prescription for some diet pills.  She told me they were merely speed and wouldn't give me any.  She told me to used something like fiber trim instead to help me feel full.  Trust me, that was not the answer I wanted.  I thought, just give them to me will yah!  I just gave up on the idea after that. I remember my telling her that it was especially hard for me to stay on a diet. She didn't say anything.  She is the quiet type and actually a nice doc  After I left I thought about what I had said.  I felt stupid.  Where did I get off making a comment like that, like it isn't hard for everyone.  What makes me so special?  What about the diabetics always being hungry or people on medicine that makes them hungry.  That's the people that can actually make a comment like that, not me.  I felt spoiled and kind of ashamed.  She probably thought what a spoiled *****  I think pretty much all of us on this board, know about food addiction, etc., etc. I don't think it's necessarily about who has the worst problem, more a matter of what brings us to the brink to have the desire to change/overcome it.   I'm all for whatever works, works.  If a pill would solve my problem, I'm sure I'd take it. Brenda

We're all the same in some weird aspect. lol

Well said!   We do all have a lot of the same feelings and desires.  I can relate to your story about the doc! I did the same thing. Mine gave them to me..he's like that.. He'll give me whatever I want.  I used to tell him I refused to exercise and was NOT going to do it. I didn't see the point in it because other people didn't have to exercise and stayed skinny, why should I?  He just sorda laughed at me and gave me a few raised eyebrows.  I haven't been to see the doc since I lost the 40 lbs.  I'm sure he'll be happy to know I exercise now. :)  I want to go back to him now and apologize to him for being so "stupid" and pigheaded about exercise.  I was in denial and obviously depressed about my weight situation. I think he knew that.  He's good about offering up suggestions that get you to thinking.. He never says "You need to exercise to me".. He simply says "Have you ever thought about it..?"  Makes me think he has a background in psychology. :) Anyways..I digress.

Well said!   We do all have a lot of the same feelings and desires.  I can relate to your story about the doc! I did the same thing. Mine gave them to me..he's like that.. He'll give me whatever I want.  I used to tell him I refused to exercise and was NOT going to do it. I didn't see the point in it because other people didn't have to exercise and stayed skinny, why should I?  He just sorda laughed at me and gave me a few raised eyebrows.  I haven't been to see the doc since I lost the 40 lbs.  I'm sure he'll be happy to know I exercise now. :)  I want to go back to him now and apologize to him for being so "stupid" and pigheaded about exercise.  I was in denial and obviously depressed about my weight situation. I think he knew that.  He's good about offering up suggestions that get you to thinking.. He never says "You need to exercise to me".. He simply says "Have you ever thought about it..?"  Makes me think he has a background in psychology. :) Anyways..I digress.

An aside...why would it be so bad to say "you need to exercise"?

Because at that point in my life I was completely unwilling to exercise.  I wasn't even contemplating it.  I despised the thought of doing it and if he were to have told me to do so I would have lashed back out at him in anger.  Call it denial.  A good doctor who is concerned about his/her's patients emotional well being will not tell them what is needed to be done but rather present them with ideas and allow them to think about the required changes and make the steps at their own pace. It's called the stages of change model. This was introduced to me by someone from this board. Andrea to be exact.  Go check it out. The link below explains it well. I went to him to talk about weight loss and wanted a pill or something that would do it for me so i didn't have to work hard at it. I was in the pre-contemplation stage where I felt there was no hope for me and I needed a miracle to fix my weight problems. He gave me the pills and asked me what I thought about exercise and seeing a nutritionist.... I then sounded of my aversion to both.. He let it go and said "Try the pills for a while and come back and see me in 2 weeks so I can check your vitals." The next visit progressed into talks about WLS and eventually I talked about wanting to exercise and eat right.  I stopped seeing him shortly after that due to insurance purposes. If you'll notice my responses to new people on the board are usually gentle and only introduce a few simple suggestions of things they can do to begin weight loss.  I generally cannot tell at what point in the change model they are so the best approach is always to start slow.  As they talk more I an fill them out and begin giving them more information about what has to be done. Always sure to tell them I'm no example because I quit all the time! lol  I know what to do.. Just struggle in making it long-term.  Change takes time. I go forward and backwards on the model. I imagine if you think back to your own life you'll see you've done the same as well.  You didn't get to the point in your life without first going through all the stages.  I believe this is why so many people respond badly to your posts. They're not ready to accept the changes you tell them that will work and the revolt against you. They don't want you to tell them what will work, they just want to know some suggestions.. some simple things they can do to get started.  Just gotta ease them into it. This applies to all things learned or changed in life. http://psychology.about.com/od/behavioralpsychology/ss/behaviorchange.htm

  Great post! Personally, if I walk away from a doctor feeling like an idiot, I'll never see that doctor again.  I've been made to feel like a complete ass by a few of them.  I went to a doc with a lung infection.. he didn't even listen.. he just said "you need to lose weight".. "UM.. THANKS for stating the OBVIOUS!"  (wacko) I love my doc in Florida.. in fact I'm ready to go see him and shock the hell out of him... he hasn't seen me in 70 lbs or so.. but even though I think he's the best thing since sliced bread, I have a confession.  I keep a doctor on the side!  :-x   This other one is more of a "friend" and he gets copies of every test and discusses the personal stuff with me.. like the DEPRESSION from the weight and emotional side effects of feelin like a leper.  He's my "under the radar" guy. The last line of your post says it all!  WHATEVER WORKS!  What works for me may not work for you and visa versa.  In a forum such as this, I believe the key is to keep an open mind so that we can support one another and yes, at times, exhort one another if we feel someone is doing something that will result in harm.  This whole trip is a path to self discovery.. not just weight loss.  We learn an awful lot about ourselves while learning about each other!   (I have no clue if any of this makes sense).

"In a forum such as this, I believe the key is to keep an open mind so that we can support one another and yes, at times, exhort one another if we feel someone is doing something that will result in harm.  This whole trip is a path to self discovery.. not just weight loss.  We learn an awful lot about ourselves while learning about each other! " PREACH!!! You said more than a mouthful and it made total sense. -Bud

Brenda my love, you're absolutely right.  Like I said, we all have methods to our madness.  I like the easiest method possible, but that's cause I'm lazy.

I've gotten to this place you so eloquently desribed...whatever works! Before i researched WLS, even though I was fat, i would have argued to the death that eating right and exercisng can be done, weight can be lost. No pills, no thrills, just dew it. NOW...i turn over the fact that Ob-viously I could NOT do it that old fashioned way..not and keep it off. It worked in fits and spurts for me...was it me, was it the plan i was on...we can argue ad naseum. I feel glad i can admit to the world i need help. I found it, in my pills, in my bariatric doc visits, in you guys. I need you all. I'll use these tools and more to come. And you're right...why whine or lament and judge when this is our path.  Maybe a blind person would LOVE to only have to worry about eating too much fast food.