Too scared for RNY

I am not completely sure what "it" is saying.  I think maybe I just feel like if I "wanted" it bad enough or "tried" harder, I could succeed.  I feel kinda bad physically, tired a lot, things like that.  My heart doc seems to think surgery is the best option for me, my heart is slowly getting worse.  I just looked at the memorial forum too, and that didn't help!!  I am probably not as young as I look, I am almost 30.  I have three kids and just can't help thinking I want to be healthy for them,  but I am scared something will go wrong with the surgery and I will leave them, when if I didn't do it I could still be with them even still obese.  Does that make any sense? I will continue to see my surgeon and just go from there.  I hope this calorie counting will help, and what exercise I can do.

Great post, Neecee, I concur with all your points. OP, you need to find your motivation, where you realize there is no choice. Mine was simple.  I'm 38, not married, want children and I don't have a big window for it.  It drives me to stick to this daily. Neecee's right, you should find your fear of staying 130lbs overweight.  What if you die at 35/40 because your heart couldn't take it?  Is that any better?  How about all the comorbidities possible?  I don't want diabetes.  Elevated blood sugar made me say "I have to get this off".   Still, I believe if you're so against an option that  part of you think is an option (WLS), your gut is telling you otherwise. Anyway, I think you need to work on your headspace and thinking.   IMO, it's not really hard to stick to a program when you know it's absolutely everything you need.  When you want the weight loss more than other things (the choices that got you heavy), you really can stay on point. Example--I love pizza.  Truly.  Could eat it for every meal.  Haven't had it in 7 months or more.  "It's" not worth it to me.  Period.  I can have a slice at goal occasionally, but it will hinder weight loss for me.  Anything that gets in my way isn't worth it.

RNY is a scary procedure.  I was too scared to do it, which is why I picked Lap band.  But I'm with the girls on this board - maybe you're just not ready for surgery, period.  Try to do it on your own some more, come to this board for support and maybe we can help you through it.