Too scared for RNY

Hello, to everyone on this board.  I am in the process of becoming approved for wls, but think I will re-consider.  I am just too scared.  When I think of all the things that could go wrong, and how I would feel afterwards, I am chickening out.  I feel like a failure, because I know I will probably not be able to lose the 130 pounds I need to with diet and exercise.  I have been trying for 6 years now. I have been back and forth with weigh****chers for the last 3 years, and I am bigger now than I have ever been.  Am I a failure for just being scared???  I keep going back and forth but, I know when it comes down to it, I won't. I could evern talk myself into going through this  whole process and all the testing, but would chicken out on the way to the O R....Looking for some advice.. am I the only one???

Trust me......you are not the first to feel this way.  I guarantee you that everyone that had the surgery got scared at one time or another.  I did.  There were a couple of times that I thought about calling it off.  Let me tell you though......I am SO glad I didn't.  The pain was easy.  Barely hurt at all.  The pain meds were wonderful and the feeling of lots of weight just falling off you is AMAZING.

You are in good company!  I went to a bariatric surgeon that was on my insurance plan - then found out that WLS is excluded on my husband's insurance. The more I found out about surgery, the better I feel that I didn't rush into it.  Its definitely not for everyone.  If it became an option I might still consider it, but at least I have a better perspective now.  Whatever you decide, I'm sure you will feel welcome on this board - its a very open-minded and accepting group. Go to the main board too , read LOTS of posts, and ask lots of questions.    

I think fear of the unknown is a healthy thing!  I too have always considered WLS a "last resort"...and now that I'm 61 and still haven't gotten this weight off, it's definitely last resort territory.  I have two friends who are in the process and came to this board looking for more information.  Although the success stories here are phenomenal...I (for myself) have found more that scare me off.  I have signed up for an informational seminar in April (very popular bariatric surgeon) and have determined to do my best with WW between now and then, but know in the deepest regions of my soul that I probably won't go ahead with the surgery.  You are not alone!! However...you're young and probably healthy and have all of that in your favor.  I think this is a good place to gain a lot of information....keep researching the surgery and reading profiles and posts and asking questions.  It certainly seems like there's a wealth of information here and everyone is so friendly and willing to answer your questions. Whether you find a lifestyle that you can lose the weight without surgery or, go on to pursue that course....I pray you will find your solution.  Don't get discouraged....every situation is different and there's not just one solution for all of us...Sherrie

Glad you're back.  I think you went through a rough spot with the board. Why do you think you can't lose it with diet and exercise?  Think that and of course you won't.  THink you can and you will. I had more than you to lose and am well on my way.  It works if you do it right.  Just remember "diets" really don't work.  Lifestyle does.

You are just getting cold feet. People that are 100 lbs overweight have less than a 5% chance off losing the weight and keeping it off.  You need to do it for you health. Look into the Lap-Band, it is the least invasive of all the procedure out there, as with any surgery it does carry risk, but you should go to the Lap-Band forum and read about it at least. Kim

You've mentioned multiple times on OH that you are receiving treatment for multiple anxiety related disorders and have been agoraphobic et al in your past-- it seems to me that the best person to discuss this with would possibly be your mental health professional. They can help you do distinguish between "real" fears and "fantasy" ones, if that's something that's a challenge for you-- I know it can be for many with anxiety. Certainly there are risks involved-- serious ones--but you also have shared that you have multiple medical issues which disable you, and that you've gained since your consultation consistently, which really must worry you-- so it sounds like you still have a lot to think about.  You know what your issue is: your obesity is becoming disabling....and I mean this gently although it sounds harsh--- the question now becomes, "What am I willing to do to save my own life?" When it's your time, and you are ready to do the work-- either way-- you will know. Until then, keep researching and talk with your people. Good luck to you!

Thanks for all the replys.  I do not think my weight is a "disability" in it's self....I have a heart condition and I do have an anxiety disorder, but I am not in mental health treatment.   I have done so many times in the past and found it not really worth while.  I am also in the healthcare field myself and know the difference between real and fantasy.  The anxiety I feel is from a lifetime full of serious health problems and abuse.  I do kind of take offense to someone thinking I may not be able to tell the difference.  I simply know at this time I wouldn't wouldn't be willing to risk my life to lose the weight.   I am physically able to  do all the same things as a thin person.  I guess I will just continue to use ww at home and hope for the best!

Sounds like it's not your time yet-- not a good idea to do anything you have so much doubt about.

Good luck with maintaining your health!

Most importantly, you are not a failure.  This is hard, make no mistake. Easy to put it on, death to take off and a living death to keep it off. WLS is not even the "answer"...it is only one more way to get the weight off initially.  After the honeymoon, it is back to you, my friend.  Are you ready for that? In my mind, scared is good. Shows you have more than half a brain there! Listen very carefully to that fear..is it saying, "get more information?"..or is it saying, "you really have not tried hard enough or long enough to lose without surgery?" On the other hand...are you being scared enough of being more than 100# overweight? You look very young, so you may not be feeling all the scary parts of that condition. No doubt, you hate the part where you don't fit into most clothes, or you hate the part where you don't fit into seats...but do you really *get it* what being that fat is doing to you? Only YOU can honestly and clearly sort that out. For me, when I have investigated and made a decision, I feel a calmness, a surity of what I am about to do.  Yes, it has its risks, i know them all, again, because I have investigated. I wish you luck.  You look very young, so for now, my vote is to stay in the non-surgical game and give it all you got.