sumpthin' Shari said...

she made a statement that her wls has not really been the reason for her loss as much as diet & exercise per the same stuff she did before wls.    I wonder (cuz in reality we shall never know) if Shari would have been able to do this without wls? She is, of course, dead right that eating right and exercising as she does will do the same thing.  I guess my other question is, left to her own ways which were working, could she have kept up the same momentum and had the same results as she sees today?  Because Shari is Shari, my answer is, she is an exception to the rule. In all "fairness" for lack of a better word, the high numbers who fail at weight loss tried just as hard, but were possibly not able to hang in there as long as it would take to get all that weight off.  Am I making any sense here at all?

Right now, I am also dumping 30% of the fat I eat through malabsorption-- but since I eat about 20 grams of fat a day, it doesn't amount to a whole ton. Does it help? Sure, probably. Fear of repercussions is usually what keeps me in line. Primarily emotional ones: I don't want to feel like a screw-up, so it's easier to stay on the wagon-- but there's also potential pain of filling this pouch, or the potential to dump or what have you lingering out there somewhere in the ether. I might have lost momentum if I'd continued dieting--I'm willing to bet I would have. Remember-- I was just losing a few pounds pre-surgery to help my doc-- but the approval process went on for several months-- the date kept moving... If I'd known that from the start, I doubt I'd have bothered! Add to that the fact that my partner needed my support as well for his efforts-- so I felt a need to be an example. All solid motivators. I am a hardcore food addict and still struggle even now. I made myself relax on Christmas and it's made me feel very fearful and agitated all week. While I'm very anal retentive when I am focused,  a strong emotional event could probably blow it all to kingdom come. If /when that happens, it's good to know my built-in safety net'll deploy. You also have to remember, Neece-- well, look at the avatar. I was suddenly very ill, bloated, sick from my obesity. That's a much better motivator than a potential fear of potential problems up a potential turnpike. I had daily misery whacking me about the head. Without that, I'd never have bothered.

It is so complex. As you have probably read along the line, wls patients almost always have a period of regret, kind of...a hard look inward that says, I coulda done THIS and not mangled my guts. But really, could s/he have done it?  I vote not, espcially the closer to middle age a person is. The shoulda-woulda-coulda syndrome! I think you just ensured that your old age will be as quality as it can be! I also think you just proved to yourself and others in your life that taking a risk can pay off well.

# 1  Got SNOW tonite? lol.... # 2  I like what Shari said about the "built in safety net".  That is really what I want from a WLS.  All my eating is stress related with my disabled DD, and staying the course with proper eating I have found to be very difficult.  You know, start a "diet" (healthy eating), the stressfull event happens, fall off the wagon, cycle continues....I've had years of stressfull events with DD, and now need the WLS to get me started, and to be a bit of a "safety net".   And ya, you make sense

I understood what she meant right away....   I thought about surgery long and hard and decided against it because of the financial devastation that could come about due to potential complications with no insurance....  so I thought......   "What would WLS do for me that I can't do for myself"  The only thing I could come up with is the malabsorption BUT I didn't want to go gastric bypass anyway... I was thinking about the band...  so.. what would the band do for me that I couldn't do for myself?  NOTHING.. It can keep me from overeating, but I can keep me from overeating as well.  It would keep me in "line" out of fear of pain, but honestly, feeling the emotional and physical pain of morbid obesity was putting me back in line.   I believe what I read that WLS is merely a tool, the hard work has to be done by the patient.  SO I pretended I had the surgery and tried to eat what a WLS patient would eat.. THAT was hard.   Shari's experience should be documented for all WLS patients to see.... it's NOT the surgery that takes the weight off... it isn't a magic bullet.  Considering the number of folks *****gain after losing all of the weight.. more people should go into this with both eyes open knowing that the SURGERY isn't the CURE.. one's own mind, will and determination is the cure.... and the surgery is in place to catch you if you fall.. that's all...  and if someone is continually falling, then the side effects could be as devastating as the obesity itself. I would have liked to have gone the route of surgery because I'm a person who NEVER finishes anything I start, and I fear failure.... but I get a sense of determination watching Shari's progress... It's inspiring to watch someone morph into a new creature.. and THAT I want more than a piece of cake! 

I think we focus entirely too much on weight loss, you know?  It reminds me of the girls I new when I was younger who spent years planning their weddings, but gave no thought to how to conduct a marriage. Weight loss after surgery (hell, even without surgery -for me) is/was a no-brainer. Frankly, it'd probably happen whether you are vigilant and compliant or not. I like to do the best I can, but even at half power I'd probably have pretty good results. I'm spending all of my psychic agitation on my marriage, not worrying about my honeymoon.

I know what you mean...   I'm trying to enjoy the ride and put aside thoughts of my destination, but I guess it's the narcissist in me that always feels like I'm offending someone with my weight that brings my thoughts back to how EASY I feel life would be without the poundage.  At least now I can walk through a store and hold my head up instead of always looking down which is a far cry from 70 lbs ago when I didn't want to walk into a store to begin with out of fear I'd be gawked at and laughed at.  I spent more time sitting out in the car than I'd care to remember......   For all of us, this is a genuine learning experience... not just learning how and what and when to eat, but learning about ourselves, learning about possible inner demons which have driven us to such self-destructive behavior and feeling good about destroying them instead of ourselves.  I, for one, am learning how to communicate with myself .. to accept my body's responses and react to it rather than always fighting it.   Shari, your strength of character is bringing you through this which tells me you will maintain for a lifetime.  As for me.. fear is bringing me through this.. .my character sucks quite frankly.  I'm striving for self reliance and the first step is THIS challenge.  If I can do this.. I think I can do anything! :)