Oh man
So I walk in this morning to work right. Food EVERYWHERE!!! Then I see the 2 dozen donuts..well the boxes I didn't even open to look at them. Now I am a big donut fan especially the jelly filled ones I could live off of them no joke lol. I could eat jelly filled donuts and chinese for the rest of my life. But I am not hungry so I just went upstairs to my desk and I popped my pill along with a water pill because the Phentermine is making my ankles swell a bit. Anyways, I am up here thinking about the donuts I have no craving for them or anything it's just my obsessive mind that isn't quite fixed yet. So I keep thinking about them but I know I can't have one neither do I really want one. I just wanted to post to take my mind off of it a bit and to totally talk myself out of going downstairs..even tho I really need to go down there and get a glass of water I am dying of thirst. Oh let me tell you about last night!!!
Last night ofcourse was Thursday night me and my 3 girlfriends go out to Uno's. Well I am the only one without a Long Island. Ofcourse ALL of them are like WHAT! you're not having a Long Island!? So ofcourse I had to tell them why and really I didn't want to..but I don't know I couldn't lie lol. So I said ok if you can guess what kind of medication I am taking I will tell you, so I hand the bottle over to one of the girls and she looked at me and was about to say it, but I could read her face where if she said diet pills what if she could be wrong and it would offend me, I kinda giggled inside thought it was kind of sweet of her cuz she didn't want to hurt my feelings. She went D.....and stopped. I took the pills back and said yes they're diet pills. My best friend looks at me and says now why all of a sudden did you decide to get those!? I thought in my head "HELLO look at me!!!!" They never look at me as a fat girl they always look past it and actually accept me as a person that's why I love them....but I ended up explaining how they worked and that was it! So last night I had my water with lemon I ended up eating about 3/4 of a side salad a bowl of chili and like 3 bites of the cookie sundae we all split. So I did well compared to normal. Usually it would be a 500+ calorie drink with either pizza or a high calorie salad with a quarter of that dessert.
Man I just babble on!!! lol. You guys don't have to reply to this I was just typing to get things out :)
Temptations will happen. Exercise power of choice.
FWIW, a colleague told me donuts were in the breakroom. For a second I thought mmm, bavarian creme. Then I thought of a half hour running at 5.5mph to get rid of it. Since I'm not up to 30 minutes straight running yet, I chose otherwise.
And as always, if the craving is real bad, have some protein. Really, it will kill it.
Oh I am not craving the donut at all. I don't even want it. My mind wants it because that is what I am used to, just eating whenever. But the medication blocks all cravings and hunger. So that is what is helping me in the long run. I just came back upstairs from being downstairs getting aglass of water and I actually opened the boxes and checked the donuts out for the first time I just went WOW there are alot of donuts!!! And walked away. And now i am here at my desk Happy and content with myself :)
You have great friends to see diet pills as anything other than a necessity for you. That's great. I had a drink for you last night - I went home and had some hot chocolate with Baileys Mint Chocolate in it. Soooo good. But I digress...
Best of luck getting through the day there. Your day today was my day yesterday. We had a buffet of donuts, munchkins, cupcakes, cake, crackers with pepperoni, cheeses, cheeseballs, ham, popcorns, chips, salsas, so much, omg... I ate like a pig, I'm not going to lie. I had a bagel with cream cheese, 6 homemade chicken nuggets, 4 munchkins, 5 crackers with pepperoni and cheese, and a slab of cake. I was such a pig. I couldn't eat dinner last night. I was stuffed like a teddy bear!
Munchkins are made from Dunkin Donuts and they're donut holes. Just little round donut puffs slathered in sugary glaze. Soooo good... And because they're little, you don't feel guilty eating 20 of them, because it's not a whole donut (even though, you've probably consumed 5 donuts while eating the 20 munchkins...)
Aaah, the brain game has begun. This was/is the hardest part for me to break. I'm glad you're working on it and it will get easier with time. It's been about 16 weeks for me now and sometimes I find that I choose to have an indulgence and sometimes I don't. It keeps me from falling off the wagon. My vow is to not overindulge or binge. If I can accomplish that I feel successful.
You did great last night, btw. What you said is right. Think about what you would have eaten before compared to what you did eat. Great progress!
Beth 
Yes the mind game is hard but I am winning lol. Currently I am hungry right now because I have been drinking protein shakes for breakfast the past couple of days and I didnt have one today because well I was hungry and because I usually have on for lunch too but I am eating lunch today so I am waiting for my mother to get here and I will eat! :)
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