Fell off the wagon

 

I've been lurking mostly the past few days.  I'm feeling guilty and depressed.  I went to Costco's several days ago and bought a big bulk package of cookies.  Needless to say I've been munching on them every day, and that leads to more munching since I know I already blew it.  I tend to go get a few every time I enter the kitchen.  What no one sees me eat doesn't matter right?  That's what my mind says anways, which leads to not tracking points, fast food, etc.  I haven't even counted my points ever since I bought them.

Sometimes I really wonder if it's worth a battle.  A battle that I've lost so many times before.  I can't stop thinking about that the actual amount of people to successfully quit is so low.   Am I one of those statistics, I'm starting to think not.   I just can't stick with eating right.  I'm starting to feel like it's a worthless cause.  Not sure if it's depression kicking in (I go in bouts with it), or I'm just fed up.  Just getting tired of not finding the "right way" for me. Lol, just realized I'm crying, but quietly since dh is right here.  Tears are rolling from my face..yep, depressions probably kicking in.grrr  

 I'm rambling, this is just a note to self to see if it helps me any.   

You know what I think you should do and why, so I won't repeat myself.  I can only say that I used to feel that way, but to me it's been rather like quitting smoking.  Your body misses it at first, then when you've kicked the physical withdrawal, it's all mental.  And if you don't associate with smokers or buy cigarettes, you're less tempted.  ANd the longer you stay out of the habit, the more the habit becomes distasteful to you. So, why buy them?  Were you hungry at the time?  Tip--have protein before you shop. You now know it triggers overeating for you.  So realize how bad these are for you and stay away from them. Don't get me wrong, if I had a bite, I believe I'd eat too many too until over a few days the package would be emptied.  Just not worth it. Feel tempted?  Do some exercise.  Leave the room of temptation. Really, really want them?  Buy a snack page of them ONLY. It's not a worthless cause. YOU are not a worthless cause.  Your health is of utmost importance.  Do not accept defeat--do not defeat yourself! Oh, and ((hug))

if only it were that simple... I havent had a cigarette in 9 years... but I still crave them.  Just the discussion of them on here makes me want one... the difference is that I can make rules about not touching tobacco or related items... I cannot go without touching food. Now if I could just take a pill to meet all my nutritional needs I could probably not eat forever and be fine.

Hmm, well that was my experience.  Wouldn't want one ever again.  Now, way past the distasteful part and all into the "why would I do that to my body" part. No one's saying go without food.  Either limit those trigger foods or avoid them.  You can still eat to satisfaction.

Holly, Don't torcher yourself, get rid of them.  If it's not in the house you can't eat it.  I know all to well how you feel.  My husband brought home some cool whip around Thanksgiving and I kept getting into it, after it was gone I said no more.  Don't bring that **** in the house again. We all go through periods where we're struggling.  Hell with statistics.  In my opinion it's going to take time and constantly battling in order to keep our weight under control.   For me if I paint my fingernails or buy some new make-up or something, it seems to help with my motivation.  Just little things like that.  Be a primp ass or whatever works for you.  We all feeling like giving up sometimes, but no way is that the answer.  Try, try, try is!!!  This is probably the most difficult month of the year.  Obviously, everyone is gung ho for the new year.    Ask yourself these questions, am I having more days that I watch what I eat than I was before?  Is my weight at least no longer going up?  Am I learning to make small strides?   Last night my husband, myself and my son were in the basement exercising.  I hate to exercise, but it felt kind of neat that we were all down there at the same time.   Brenda

Holly, Holly, Holly..... I know how you feel.  But don't give up!  Let's change the statistics.   It's a real bad time of year now.  Lots of stress, etc.  Just TRY not to eat in excess for now.  Then you can at least maintain your weight.  Then after Christmas you will be motivated to get back on that horse and ride again! We're here for ya.     Bren 

Resist them thar cookies girlfriend!!  YOU CAN DO IT!!!! I have felt that same way so many times over the years... it's like- what's the use? I'm not going to do it this time- any better than the last time!  But I think we CAN change those statistics!! Don't be so hard on yourself Holly... this is the hardest time of the year for us... and extra hard, when you live with what? 5 hours of daylight? The knowledge that after 12/21 our days will start getting LONGER.... THAT is literally MY light at the end of the tunnel! Hang in there! You have been doing great and you can pick up again! Just cause you blow it- doesn't mean it's gotta be blown every day.  

You are sneak-snarfing, eh? As we talked about your son, you know there is a deeper issue when you are sneaking them.So, my suggestion may surprise you.  Eat some, but the rule is with your meal, like right after your meal.  Don't sneak them!

I saw this saying on the board and it is something that rings very true for me.  "What we eat in private, we wear in public." It's really difficult with other people in the house and I think with more people it gets harder.  Everyone wants something different.  In the beginning I was able to convince (some) people in the house that I needed to keep certain things out of the house but, within a few weeks, things went back to normal.  I just had to find a way to deal with it and it isn't always easy.  Yesterday I realized that this is one of the worst weeks I've had.  I've had the visual artists' version of writer's block, couldn't concentrate and kept going into the pantry, opening the door, looking for some tasty snack.  The funny thing is that I didn't really have anything.  I had an extra fiber bar, but that's pretty much it. I know it's going to be a lifelong battle for me more because of my head than anything else.  I had no cravings for anything particular yesterday, nor a desire to eat anything.  Wasn't hungry.  The idea of food wasn't all that interesting to me either.  It was just the act of distracting myself or "drowning" my sorrows and/or stress.  Knowing that bothered me a lot.  Knowing I got through the day made me feel better. I like alcohol every once in a while and I really do miss it.  I can't drink it at all now but that doesn't make it any easier.  The good thing is that I can survive without drinking it and I just have to accept that. It helps me that I allow myself whatever I want but I plan it out.  If I'm going to have something special I try to eat lighter meals elsewhere in the day, add more activity, etc.  For me, I can't treat it like alcoholism and never have certain things, I just had to learn to live with those things.  Different things work for different people and you have to find techniques that will work for you long term.  If you can learn them now, you will be better off when you're maintaining.  It is much harder to do because sometimes you'll stumble but you'll learn from it and be stronger.

Thanks everyone.  Beth..those were harsh words (the saying), I 'm going to have to remember that one.  I've never heard that one before.  I pretty much fit that one myself.  

I think I've came to the conclusion that for me it's all or nothing.  There is no eating "one"  small piece of candy after dinner, etc.  I just can't do it, at least not now.  I know from experience I won't even be able to do it after eight months or so.  Then in my head while I eat these things I literally think "this might be the last time I can eat this", so I pig out.  Which the funny part is deep down I know I'll probably eat it again.   It's sort of like pigging out before your big day of beginning your new diet.  

One person mentioned stress, and omg I got the stress piled on me atm.  I'm sure that is a big part of it.  Christmas is killing me, I'm financially burdened atm, just realized the past few days we're worse off than I realized, my sons health is still up in the air..cardiologist can't figure out what's wrong.  Then he has some legal issues we're dealing with at age 18!ughh  So otherwise it's just been a ****ty month.  So I guess whatever happens happens with my weight this month.  I just got to suck it up and realize it might not be a good month for me for weight loss.  But I'm partially still tryin! :)