My son just broke my heart

i worry about my daughter alot. she's 7 and weighs 78lbs. which isn't awful, but, she's got a lil belly, a fat mother and she loves food WAY too much. i mean, her eyes light up at the mention of food and she's always hungry. she will eat just about anything. there is very little she doesn't like. doing my best to set an example with my changes and just hope that she will grow into her weight. i don't wanna push things too much. i too was made to feel fat when i was younger and it coulda been controlled. i ended up becoming what i felt they were calling me. i don't wanna do that to her.

Sorry I did notget back on last night!  But i pondered it more, and this is what I wished I had been able to say to my ten year old with all the same issues: "This is the beginning of the part of your life where you will have more choices to make without Mom & Dad. I know you have all the tools within you to make the right decision.  You  may make a mistake but always know Mom & Dad will love you and help you get back on track. Son, anytime you hide things from the world, like how you are hiding food, you know deep down that you hide it because you're ashamed of it and it is the wrong choice. It's wrong becuase these are not the right kinds of foods for anyone, whether thin or fat.  They may taste good to you, but you can check science on this:  they are not the right kinds of food.  You have not finished getting taller, so i am not worried that you will be fat if you try to choose wisely more often in your food choices. This is your choice, Son, and all I can do is try my best to make sure the right foods are in this house for you and for me. Let's help each other!" How is that?????And while you're at it, get DH's help on this, no more or at least - LESS crap in that house.  DH can bring that crap to work and eat it til he is sick. Same for MIL....this is a family thang!!!! I feel for you, this is so complex.

Wow - I wish my mom woulda said that to me! But she couldnt - she was busy hiding food of her own still... like the giant hershey bars in the linen closet at the very back...  I even suspect that all of her bravado about how terrible McDonalds was was cover for secret burger binges...

Holly, I have a 15 year old that weight 285 pounds.  He is 5'8". All the things that people told you should be implemented, I agree.  That being said, I hear the desperation in your voice and all I can say is "I feel your pain." My son would rather eat food than junk, but he can consume quite a bit of it.  My doctor told me he is old enough to figure this out on his own and to stop taking responsibility for where he is.  I take responsibility because of course I taught him how to eat like this.  But at some point we can provide the tools and they have to use them. My son is active in sports all year.  Football, Wrestling, Baseball....so it's not like he comes home from school and eats his head off.  I think a lot of it has to do with training his fat cells as well, and losing for him is going to be difficult.  But that is a whole other story. Do what you've been doing and honestly keep the junk out of the house.  A calorie is a calorie but at least a calorie of protein will do more for his body than a calorie of pure junk food will. good luck

I can only share my own experience.  I was 10, 5'1 and 110 lbs.  I was about 20-25 lbs overweight.   I recently said something to my mother about dieting for 30 years and she said she never put a child on a diet.  Um, yeah, she did.  My first was at about age 9, it was a group diet setting and it was scary.  Why was I there?  Some of the people were super morbidly obese and that's frightening to a child.  And all I did was what my parents taught. I was active (gymnastics every Saturday, out riding my bike after school from 3-6pm daily and much of the day weekends).  And we didn't keep sweets in the house, so once when there was a box, I remember climbing onto the counter to get it off the top of the fridge and ate 3 twinkies immediately.  We didn't eat dessert, and dinners were frequently pasta. Yet I felt blame for my weight--something was wrong with me.  Everyone's focus on me was my weight.  That became my life. I very much think if they had done nothing but encouraged and themselves lived active lifestyles with proper intake, I wouldn't have been fat, tried to be bulemic, paid thousands over the years for various diets, etc. But they didn't, and instead I still am haunted by memories of being weighed and knowing this is what everyone focused on. If I am blessed enough to have children, who will likely have my unfortunate genetics, I will teach them differently.  They will be as active as I am.  They will consider activity as important as daily showers and brushing their teeth.  They will have to have a sport as well as an artistic endeavor in addition to their focus on intellect.  They will be allowed foods with fat as I have learned how important this is to good health and proper weight and satiety.  They will have meals that emphasize veggies and de-emphasize starches.   Children learn from their parents.  I want them to have full acceptance of themselves and respect for what their bodies need.... My 2c. 

What is hard, Jersey, is that leading by example does not always work.  It's the greatest lesson for having children:  they come through you, not from you.  They are his/her own person!

My younger daughter...from day one, hated exercise.  I literally had to drag her to come outside. I actually made her sit outside rather than in front of the TV! My older girl, could hike miles at age 2! Same parents, waaay different children. If you happen to get active children, you got lucky.

Not sure I agree.  I think you teach attitude, priorities and encourage interest.

I dont think you can make them....   my son dislikes the outdoors in general...  He spends most of the summer at the lake with my sister...  and he spends most of his time in the cabin.  About the most physical he gets is fishing...  LOL

there is no TV, no video games - nothing... and yet he will find passive ways to occupy his time all summer rather than swim with other kids etc. It is simply IN HIM to be that way.

Careful there!  I, also, thought the same way until I had them.  MY kids would NEVER (fill in the blank) easy to think that.  And..I got news for ya, it works both ways.  Sometimes our behavior as parents teaches how NOT to be: My mother was ...IS....a couch potato from hell, always has been, always will be. Where and how did I learn to ride bikes at age 10 just for the heck of it a country mile (12 miles blocks)? She was never fat, either. She is now, at age 70, since her bout with cancer.  Parenting..sounds easy...just wait.

5'1 and 110 lbs is 20-25 lbs overweight?  Really?   BMI is 20.8 and in the healthy range.... at 85 lbs BMI would have been 16.1  - underweight. You were not overweight at all.