Exercisers, I need some help finding the Force

Star Wars said the Force was within.  Well, it is, but it hides. I am having difficulty with something.  While training is going well, my trainer is on my case for stopping during a set.  Thing is, I do push through, giving it my all, but then there's this point where my body says "enough already" and collapses on me.  I regroup and keep going, but that's not good enough.  He wants it all the way through.  He says if I have it in me to do after I regroup, I had it in me to keep going without rest. I just can't find that inside me to break all the way through.  Sometimes it's because we've so exhausted the group of muscles that will be used.  Sometimes it's just too dang hard. My trainer thinks I have a problem, stopping at 10, but that's often because I don't know where he wants me to go--10, 12, 15, 20, 30....  Sometimes 10 is where my body is like "I can't do another one!" I talked with a friend and her quick response was "I just keep going till he tells me to stop."  FWIW, she weighs 140lbs less than me.   I just don't know what to do to make it through and not disappoint him or cheat myself.

hmmm. i think sometimes it's a mind thing, where you THINK you can't go more. and sometimes it really is your body saying you can't go anymore. only suggestion i've got is try to push yourself just one more each time. if you usually stop at 10, then go till 11. then next time go till 12. gotta confess, my 11 yr old son helps me alot with this by being my cheerleader. he sat and watched me do my work out video last week. there was one spot in the video that i'd been having a hard time keeping up with. i'd get about halfway thru the moves they were doing and i'd have to quit. he sat there and kept cheering for me telling me i could do it. i did more that day than i had ever before. and since that day i've went on to completely doing what i couldn't do before. so, it's in you. you just gotta make yourself your cheerleader i guess. or tell your trainer to grab some pom poms. hehe

He's a great cheerleader ("Come on, you've got this") but the "Jersey, don't stop, don't you stop" sometimes breaks me.  He says he can tell when I'm worn out and when I just give up, but I'm not so sure he sees it accurately.

I'll give him that when you see me lifting weights and my face all smushed up that yeah, that's about the end of the road.  But that's with weights. With core work, it's more about the will to move or hold a position.  I mean one day, doing a full body crunch with an 18lb body bar, I couldn't lift the bar for one more.  And sometimes in ab work I'm holding it or moving it till it just won't move more, or I'm even shaking.   And that's when the body says, "You think, LOL.  Not gonna happen." I know there are mindgames we play on ourselves.  Pushups do that to me.  Without him around, I've done 3 sets of 10.  But when with him, and after an hour of work and weights, I get 5 and rest, 5 and rest, etc.  Why?  Because I feel OH MY GOD, HOW HEAVY THIS BODY IS.  STOP, DON'T DO IT.  He says stop thinking and just do.  Argh.

I'm not training like you are but I do know about our limits and our comfort zone.  Just an idea, but it's worked for me, why not psyche yourself out before hand.  Sort of a motivational psyche.  I've seen athletes do it, why can't you we?  I've done this before a lot.  Then there is a more peresonal approach.   Last time I was really pushing myself hard everyday excercising I remember thinking of my niece.  She was 15 years old at the time going through hell with cervical cancer.  I used that in my routine.  I know, sort of strange, but it worked.  If she can endure all of this crap, then why can't I do just  half more mile on the tread mill.  There was just no comparison in my mind.  So I used that as my inspiration.  Just thinking about her will and what I wanted for her, I gave to myself.  Made me think of all the less unfortunate so why am I making a big fuss over this...just do it.   Make sense?

Usually what happens is I stop, try to find the will and in that moment of thinking he's on my case for stopping at all. "stop thinking" Not my forte.

How about asking him for a clear set amount of what you need to do.  That way you KNOW you have to power through and will focus on getting to that magic number. In the end, just keep trying.  You will only cheat yourself if you don't give it your all and by the sounds of it, you always do.

I always give it my all, it's just a question of whether he agrees or not.  Don't know if he's just using it as a motivation tactic or not.  Sometimes I ask, sometimes I just keep going, but sometimes I poop out early, usually when we've already weakened the bodypart with exercise... Try doing 3 sets of pushups or planks when you lifted weights for an hour.  Try doing more ab work when you just did an hour of it.  Oy.

I think he needs to throw a sistah a bone here...tell you how many, then ask for two more! That is my personal technique to keep moi going and challenging myself. I call the two more "for God". I have never had a trainer, but been around lots of them with a variety of clients.  One thing I have noticed is that when clients cannot get to the prescribed number, s/he says, we're going to get there, rest as much as you need, but we are not stopping here.  I do not agree that resting during a set is cop out, in fact, it is useful. When you begin building past the previous exhaustion point, that is where progress is!  I could not do more than 3 girl push ups when i started. Now I can do 3 sets of 15, no problem. That is how I know it is time to push myself, when it is easier than last time. Some days are better than others, too.

I must tell you I cringe and hope you are not over training. I am not sure he takes your extra weight into consideration enough.

If I overtrain, it's my fault.  He's advised me against it, I just am damn determined.  As long as I don't go much over 60-90 m/6 days a week.  Marathon sessions are usually including something mild like yoga or swimming. BTW, wasn't talking modified pushups--full blown military ones.  I've gotten good at them, and can do 30 out if I haven't exhausted the muscles, if I have, 5 at a time is hard work. Part of the no rest bit is because we're doing supersets.  Sometimes I think he just wants to motivate me, but today it didn't work.  I'm such a people pleaser (yeah, working on that) that I end up feeling like I disappointed him and I hate that.  And I'm very self-critical.  I'll get to working on that later, lol.