Hi Y'all

Like Paula Dean would say it.... I just wanted to introduce myself as I am brand new here.  I have been lurking around, reading some of the threads over the last few days.  You all are a wonderful group of people, very supportive and very encouraging.  That is what I need right now!  I need some support as I embark on my new weight-loss journey. I had lap-band surgery back in 2004, and had so many complications that I had it taken out last month.  I am now going to go at this without any surgical intervention and having gained back some of the weight I lost, I am ready to get back on the losing side of things! My problem is that every day I think, "I really need to do this" and then the next day I think, "I will just wait one more day"  Awful I know!  We even bought a top-of-the-line treadmill and I have only used it once.  Dangit, I am going to use the thing and start eating better! What are some of the plans you all are following?  I don't particularly want to do WW and go to meetings and count points and all that but I suppose if I have to I will.  I really would like to know some of your guidelines.  What is a good place to start?  I weigh around 280 and I am 5'10, 30 yrs old.  Any ideas are greatly appreciated.  I look forward to sharing this journey with all of you! Thanks, Jenn

Welcome, Jenn!  Let  todaybe the first day of your journey!  YEAH!  It's a beautiful thing! I'm 38, started at 320 (5'6) and after 30 years of obesity and attempts at weight loss was ready to do WLS.  But I knew it wasn't right for me based on my habits, so I decided to take the ~10K I would have paid for WLS and/or out of pocket healthcare costs and put it toward the one thing I hadn't tried.   I had always been active, but never had instruction, so I joined a gym and hired a trainer. He had "biggest losered" himself from 380 to 200 and I trusted he could direct me well.  THe man gave me my wings. He is a tremendous blessing in my life. It's taken a little time to find the right eating program for me.  First thing was to stop dieting.  "Diets don't work," he said.  Forget the commercial diets, and he explained why.  Long story short, most people diet, don't exercise right, and the diets end up ruining their metabolism.  He suggested a program for me where quite frankly I'd be eating to fuel my exercise, which often meant eating the full amount of your BMR and letting exercise take the calories away.  One thing he pointed out, never have more than 300-500 calories less than your BMR.  Ever been hungry while dieting?  Guess what--you shouldn't!  Effective weight loss will leave you full and your body working for you.  THIS is where commercial diets and even WLS fails people--it does just that, makes them take in significantly less than their BMR and ruin their metabolism.   THIS is where diets end up causing the yo-yo (lose, gain back and then some, try again, lose, gain back and them some, etc.).  I wanted to break that cycle and frankly I was in it so bad that even 800-1000 calories on Medifast (with Jenny Craig, LA WEight Loss, and Nutrisystem in my diet history) and I couldn't lose more than a handful of lbs. So, diets were out.  We played with my nutrition.  60% carbs to start, then 40/40/30 (typical carb, protein, fat breakdown most nutritionists recommend).  We played with my calorie level.  I spent a few months not losing more than 0.25lb/week.  Then we eliminated starches (no bread, cereal, rice, pasta, potato, not even the healthiest options).  This worked with 2-3lb/loss per week.  No, it's not Atkins--fruits and veggies are unlimited and it's not a low carb diet per se, just carbs come from veg/fruit sources. I've researched this and discovered that this was the most effective diet pre 1970s, how we tended to live in earlier times, and the choice of many doctors to deal with weight, celiac disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc.  (There's a good reason bariatric docs advise no starches and this is it!)  It will work on the obese body best, IMO because it counters insulin resistance, which many obese folks face. The exercise component of my program is 1-2 hours day 6-7 days a week of INTENSE exercise. I emphasize intense because I'd always been active, but training has taught me  how hard you need to work to get results.  (If you have health problems, there are modifications you can make, so there's no excuse.)  I see many folks who take it easy.  It's not just about taking a casual stroll or swim (which is good for you but won't take you far).  Changes happen when you make your body really work. And to your I can't get started part--it was hard, sure.  I spent the first months wondering WTF I was doing to myself.  I cried a lot, was stressed--everything was challenging and I didn't like that.  But I kept facing it day by day.  In the beginning it was 1hr 5x a week.  But something happened.  As I progressed I came to love that feeling of accomplishment and desired new challenges.  Loved it so much and desire my goal that I now work out 1-2hrs day, 6-7 days a week.  It's not uncommon for me to spend my weekend in the gym (yesterday:  training, cardio, yoga, for almost 3 hours of exercise).  I'm still the "fat chick" and have a long way to go, but guess what--I'm loving the ride!!!!  I look at who I am 5 months later and I'm get this--an athlete!  I am strong in heart and body (and soul), and I amaze the staff I work with but more importantly myself! So that's my story.  You'll figure out what you will do, but choose carefully and protect your future.  I say that because dieting brought me to 320 lbs.  Living healthy (eating well and exercising with frequency, consistency, and intensity) is making me lose weight for good and frankly, with ease.  Took me 30 years to say that and live that.  Frankly, I wish I could take every diet commercial out there and put a big black box warning on it, KWIM? My advice would be to stop thinking that it's all about lowering your calories.  It's not.  It's about fueling your life.  That's my biggest issue when talking with others trying to lose weight.  It's just about healthy living. I hope today gets you in the game.  If you really want this for yourself, you'll stop saying "Tomorrow".  What do I mean about really want this?  When you want it more than you want the comfort the familiar offers you, you will step outside your comfort zone and get on the path to great health. And we'll all be there rooting you on!

Thanks so much Jersey for your answer.  By the way, my posts are being moderated due to me being new, so it may take a while for this to come through! I think that I know that I have to eliminate the "bad" carbs.  When I had lapband, in the beginning, I shopped at the store wisely, I didn't have the bad stuff in my house at all.  I didn't go out of the house late at night for an ice cream fix.  I guess I know on many levels what I NEED to do, but I have no idea how I got to that part where I was so strong.  I exercised several hours at least 5 days a week, sometimes all 7.....if people wanted to go do something after work I would say no, or try to do something with people AFTER my gym time.  I felt SO good when I was exercising but with how I am right now it's so hard.  I get out of breath so quickly (my newly diagnosed asthma doesn't help this issue) now and it's almost like I want to jump right back into where I was before.  That just solidifies for me how far I really got before!  I want to get there again.  I have been eating well this weekend -- not really following a plan at all, but eating things that I know aren't bad for me, and not snacking and overeating.  I feel like I should have some guidelines as far as how much of different things to take in.....I guess my mind is engrained to think that way.....(in numbers).  When you cut out the starches completely, how did you regulate everything else?  Did you just try to concentrate on the proteins and veggies/fruits? I'm already accustomed to not consuming liquid calories most of the time.  And I am already used to buying lower sugar things, and reading lables.  But then it's like I read that the things manufactured for reduced fat, etc... are bad for you due to the carbs!  I realize that no one can sit and eat a whole box of reduced fat anything and lose weight, but what about in moderation?  I am just so conflicted on what is healthy these days.  It seems like one program focuses on one thing and another is completely different.  Everyone says they like WW because it's so balanced, but the last time I went, they were definitely pushing the low carb, high protein thing along with the points. I'm so scared of starting AGAIN and failing AGAIN at this that I think I am scared to start.  If I don't have a plan, then I know I will fall off the bandwagon so I need to decide TODAY where to start.  I can't just jump in where I was on the exercise, and I have to have a plan as to how I am going to eat.  Does that make sense.  Or am I just rambling randomly? Thanks for listening.....

Carbs, good, bad..IMO, that's for maintenance, not for weight loss.  But some will disagree.  For me, I was having only good carbs and small amounts and not losing due to IMO insulin resistance.  I firmly believe most obese should avoid starches to lose weight.  Face good carbs when the weight is off.  If you're going to have starches during your weight loss, here's a rule of thumb--only have early in the day and before exercise so that your body uses it as fuel ONLY. " When I had lapband, in the beginning, I shopped at the store wisely, I didn't have the bad stuff in my house at all.  I didn't go out of the house late at night for an ice cream fix.  I guess I know on many levels what I NEED to do, but I have no idea how I got to that part where I was so strong." You mean mentally strong?  You wanted it badly, that's all and you're not quite there in this moment. " I exercised several hours at least 5 days a week, sometimes all 7.....if people wanted to go do something after work I would say no, or try to do something with people AFTER my gym time.  I felt SO good when I was exercising but with how I am right now it's so hard.  I get out of breath so quickly (my newly diagnosed asthma doesn't help this issue) now and it's almost like I want to jump right back into where I was before.  That just solidifies for me how far I really got before!  I want to get there again." Jenn, here's my tough love part--yes, it's harder because of where you are now--doesn't mean you shouldn't be doing it.  It's gonna be dang hard!  What I think happens is many will say "I can't" because of size, weight, or limitation, but it's really just that they don't know what to do and also are afraid of how hard it is.  Bull!  I was 320!  I did it.  I pushed myself so hard that I thought I'd collapse (I didn't).  I felt my girth when I did stuff, SO WHAT!  Now, you mention asthma and I'm not a doc or a trainer but I say get some instruction how to deal with that and still exercise well.  I worked through injuries as well, so I understand a lot of restrictions, but you can still do it.  Any other reponse is an excuse. "Excuse".  This is the part where I may offend people, but the thing is, I now see what I said at times as excuses, and now recognize it in others.  So forgive the offense but take it as tough love.  You have to push through this harder than anything else.  It's like people who get the strength to lift the unimaginable, like a car, when it comes to saving the life of a loved one.  Well, save yourself, Jenn! " I have been eating well this weekend -- not really following a plan at all, but eating things that I know aren't bad for me, and not snacking and overeating.  I feel like I should have some guidelines as far as how much of different things to take in.....I guess my mind is engrained to think that way.....(in numbers).  When you cut out the starches completely, how did you regulate everything else?  Did you just try to concentrate on the proteins and veggies/fruits?" I measure everything and use Fitday software as a food diary, but I find that my body knows when it's done (1900-2600 calories--yes, you heard me right!).  Really, I don't find it hard to moderate in the least.  I focus on filling my plate with fruits and veggies and toss in the protein, and voila, I eat to satisfaction.   You mention you k n ow what to shop for and what to eat, but then I read "And I am already used to buying lower sugar things, and reading lables.  But then it's like I read that the things manufactured for reduced fat, etc... are bad for you due to the carbs!  " Well, I'm a proponent of clean eating, which means fuggedaboudit when it comes to the inside aisles. It's all about the outside ones (produce, protein, dairy).  That means, LOL, you rarely need to read labels!  And you don't have to worry about lower sugar because it's not an ingredient!   Caveat--I do have some things where there are labels--like canned goods.  I keep for instance canned mandarin oranges in water in my pantry.  Only ingredients, oranges and water.   I'm not even remotely considering reduced sugar fruit ****tail, or such.  Also, the one thing I do keep that has labels is protein shakes and bars and those indeed are reduced sugar stuff and have labels. " I realize that no one can sit and eat a whole box of reduced fat anything and lose weight, but what about in moderation?" IMO, save it for maintenance and even then, IMO it's not about reduced fat because a) fat is not what makes you fat and is actually good for weight loss, b) once at maintenance, you're better off having one of the real thing then 5 of the healthier choice and c) reduced fat OFTEN MEANS increased sugar! " I am just so conflicted on what is healthy these days.  It seems like one program focuses on one thing and another is completely different.  Everyone says they like WW because it's so balanced, but the last time I went, they were definitely pushing the low carb, high protein thing along with the points." Well, you now know where I stand on that.  Pffft to commercial diets and calorie restriction! "I'm so scared of starting AGAIN and failing AGAIN at this that I think I am scared to start.  If I don't have a plan, then I know I will fall off the bandwagon so I need to decide TODAY where to start.  I can't just jump in where I was on the exercise, and I have to have a plan as to how I am going to eat.  Does that make sense.  Or am I just rambling randomly?" Nah! I get it!  I was scared too until it clicked for me.  But you can't get anywhere unless you try!  You've got to start first.  And be prepared for the ups and downs and just deal with it.  If you want this, it will be because it's best for you and there will be no other alternative! Yeah, you need guidelines.  Figure them out and start.  Figure out what your issues are and counter them  For me it wasn't about activity, it was how active and to what level.   It wasn't about food choices, already ate healthy, just had to find what didn't work for me.  It was about calories and in my case not eating enough.  Like I said, I knew WLS wasn't for me, especially when I didn't lose on a VLC program! My guidelines were easy--go to the gym daily, give 110%, work hard, and eat healthy without starches and monitor my intake.  I'd be happy to help set you up with some suggestions based on what I've learned worked for me, but I suggest professional advice, which I cannot offer.  I'd also choose whom you listen to carefully.  I don't believe doctors are the right people to go to for advice.  Do you know that until they specialize, most aren't trained in weight loss and or nutrition for more than a handful of hours if that???  So forget when a doc says the calories you should eat, IMO.  Even bariatric docs IMO have it wrong because if they "got it" they would never recommend VLC to their patients!  And IMO forget the commercial diets (even WW, IMO) are misleading.  For me, it just clicked to meet several people (trainers) in the gym who had lost 100lbs+ and how they did it.  They built muscle first, ate to fuel workouts, and let exercise and nutrition fuel their weight loss. I hope I help.  I will say, some don't like/agree with my advice.  I'm not "telling" you what to do, just sharing what I've learned and believe with all my heart.  The thing about what I'm doing and why I'm so passionate?  I'M HAPPY!  I'm not hungry, not tempted, not guilty, I find this easy and have no doubt I will get to goal. Oh, forgot a piece of important advice--expectations!  a) allow yourself the ups and downs of figuring out what works best for you and b) don't count on more than 1-2lbs week weight loss.  BE REALISTIC!  Create a lifestyle you truly can live with!  For me, knowing I won't have to ever restrict calories and I just have to choose wisely and move a bit--well, I LOVE IT! ETA:  I'm having trouble posting quotes here, sorry for the repeated edits!

"  When I had lapband, in the beginning, I shopped at the store wisely, I didn't have the bad stuff in my house at all.  I didn't go out of the house late at night for an ice cream fix.  I guess I know on many levels what I NEED to do, but I have no idea how I got to that part where I was so strong." imo you were strong because you believed the "tool" (lapband) would help you achieve the weight loss. but you were a part of making that tool work. believe in yourself as much as you did the lapband. i also used to use the excuse that it was "just too hard" to not exercise. i was at least 350lbs at my highest....probably a bit more. i know what it feels like. you have to start out with something tho. if you can walk for 10 minutes, then start there. i started out walking only half a mile every morning. as i got stronger at that, i increased. what i've done so far doesn't seem like much when i think about it. but, i've managed to lose 32lbs so far.  here's what i've done: -quit drinking ALL sodas, even diet. -started measuring my portions until i could tell visually how much i should be eating. -tracked my calories (i haven't done so great at this lately, but at the same time, because i tracked it earlier i know that i am within my calorie range even without having to track it) -started eating stuff high in protein and cutting down starchy carbs (bread, pasta, potatoes etc) -went as organic as i could and stopped buying so much processed foods. i too always felt like i had to have a "plan". but in reality, the only plan i needed was to stop making excuses and start making changes. you gotta just make up your mind to stop making excuses and start RIGHT NOW! not tomorrow, not monday, not Jan. 1st. RIGHT NOW! and, believe in yourself!

One other thing I wanted to add.  We all realize that there's the potential to regain.  Think of the Biggest Loser contestants who come back heavier two years later.  Many will say that they didn't keep it up, they went off program and that's why they regained.  That, IMO, is only partially true. I use The Biggest Loser (TBL) as an example because it intrigues me and is an example of lifestyle change.  But we all know what goes into the program, reduced calories and excessive exercise.  Well who can keep that up? With excessive exercise, who can keep up 4-6 hours exercise daily? With reduced calories, well my experience has been that makes me insane.  I get tempted, cranky, and I can't keep the choices up.  Do you realize that TBL has some men on 1500 calories, some women on 1200 calories?  How wrong that is!  They are not fueling their weight loss. Oh sure, it works--in the short term.  Well, I'm not in this for the short term.  I want lifelong results. I looked at those who have succeeded with maintenance at my gym and they're not eating little, they never allow hunger, they only workout 1-2 hours a day.  That's easy IMO to maintain...so there is no falling off the wagon and regain. Add to that, if you are eating the right amount of calories to fuel weight loss, you are building yourself as a metabolic machine from the inside out so that you fuel weight loss.  And if your calories are close to maintenance calories yet making you lose, you won't yo yo ever!  And if exercise is built into your life, you won't want to miss it! I couldn't get to a class today and am disappointed.  Total 180 for me, KWIM?

hi jenn -

welcome!

the first thing i need to say is that there are many factors that go into successful weight loss and mainenance. probably the MOST important part is that you are in the right stage of change. ready to really make long term change, as in life has become unbearable the way you are now and you MUST make a change. if you aren't in the right place, a new eating plan may work for a few days, but not long term.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transtheoretical_Model go get on your treadmill today. do you have a TV in that room? are there any shows that you religiously watch? pledge to only watch desparate housewives while on the treadmill. otherwise, you can'****ch it (or whatever show you feel that way about). try to think of exercise as an escape, a way to be good to yourself, rather than a chore. eventually exercise becomes just a part of your daily routine - like brushing your teeth. holidays are coming up - ask for personal training sessions, an ipod for jogging, some yoga videos. better than fruitcake, right? you need to find a plan that works for you. yes, you could work out 1-2 hours a day and eat no carbs, but really how fun is that? and more importantly, how maintainable is that for you? plus it doesn't need to be that hard. moderation is key for long term, permanent weight loss.  i lost my weight using a model i was taught at the duke diet and fitness center, which involves nutrition, exercise and health psychology. their 3 necessary things are monitoring (food, mood etc), exercise, and support (professionals, walking partners, friends etc). took 2 years to lose the weight - i have been in maintenance (within a 10 lb range) for 4.5 years. it has the best long term outcomes of any program in the country. they recently started an online program and put out a book  http://www.dukediet.com  this is me http://www.dukediet.com/publicsite/successstories/andrea.asp x this is my sister http://dukediet.com/publicsite/funnel/success-stories/laura. aspx in the long run, its the programs that advocate a balenced, moderate approach - a true lifestyle change  - like DFC, weigh****chers etc - that have the best outcomes. good luck finding something that will work for YOU. there are lots of choices out there. you know you can do it. use this board. use whatever support you can get - whether that if here, a husband, a WW or OA meeting whatever. now is a good time just to be open to new ideas.  

I just saw they had an online program the other day.  I really wonder if you get enough out of it like if you would walk into thier clinic.  It's caught my interest. Plus I didn't notice any book, I probably just missed it.

You and your sister both have done an amazing job on keeping the weight off.  I bet not only you, but your parents are estatic as well.  I loved it when I read they gave it to you for a graduation present.  I bet they are so happy it has worked for both of thier kids.

here is the book link: http://www.amazon.com/Duke-Diet-World-Renowned-Program-Healt hy/dp/0345499034/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1197235 486&sr=8-1 of course you're not going to get as much out of the online program as you would if you go there and are in a controlled environment with nothing else to focus on other than changing your lifestyle. but DFC is rather expensive and many people can't afford/don't want to take off time from work to go there. i think the online program is just a few bucks a month. the book and online program are meant to allow more people to participate and learn about the program. both my parents also attended and did well for the first year or so after they left but then they started being all social and eating out a lot and there it went. its not a miracle program - you have to "work" it, like any kind of maintenance plan. i know my mom just joined the online program since they can't get to the center any time soon - i'll ask her what she thinks. it looks pretty cool though - i think you can talk directly with staff nutritionists and exercise physiologists. 

Thanks for the link.  I figured its not as good as walk in.  But I am still curioius.  Let me know what your mom thinks of it.  I saw it was five bucks a week I think is what it was.   It really would be beneficial if you could contact them.  That would be a bonus on the plan in my books. 

Thanks for the info! :)