I think I'm all grown up now

I know, sort of a wierd title.  It just reminds me of "finally" being grown up as in...why haven't I thought of this YEARS ago.  This is also a ramble so ignore me if you wish, I'm just thinking out loud, trying to figure some things out in my head.

I have been thinking about it the last few days, and now I just wrote someone about it so I thought I would share.  How long did it take you, or have you finally realized you will be doing this ALL your life?  I know most of you, or a lot of you already have realized it.  I have always "known" I will be battling with weight issues all my life.  But I really don't think I reall knew deep down on how much of a struggle it would be, or to what extent.  I don't think I really faced it for what it was.  Make sense?  It's always just been "losing weight" in the past. 

I've always known I'll always struggle with my weight loss, but to what extent?  I don't think I've asked myself that before.  I wonder why it takes us so long to actually learn about our bodies.  To actually admit we're going to be like this the rest of our life.  Whether we lose all of our weight, it will still be a continuing battle with alot of us.

I think I've just came to terms with this.  I think I've "finally" realized there is no easy fix.  My easy fixes before never worked.  It is an addiction, which you have to treat it as an addiction.  That means I will have to treat it that way the rest of my life.  No matter how my body looks, whether thin or not. 

I will also have to count calories, or count points, or eat a certain way, every day of my life.   I was thinking about Sonoras binge, and the binges I have.  I was thinking about that life cannot happen with out once in a while eating a cookie, or over eating at dinner time.  But it's something that will have to be worked in our weeks allowance some how, without feeling totally guilty to cause another binge.

I have to make myself accountable for every morsel I put in my mouth.  And do it without guilt!  This part has been my enemy.  But before I put it in, I have to already know the game plan on how to make it happen.  To know where it's going to fit into my plan so it won't plan on being on my hips! 

I think I'm okay with this.  This is my life, I have to take it day by day because no body else will.

 I had the same thoughts before i started my program, Have to do this myself, for me , for the health,. To learn a better way to eat for the rest of my life, and iam ok with it now, Its hard but like you said one day at a time is what helps. Hard but iam looking forward to doing things i havent been able to do in a long time, i set small goals and reach them one at a time, is what helps me.  I realized all this when i knew the surgery was not  coming my way, so i started the first step rolling, and iam so glad i did, I eat to live, not live to eat, no more, i try and stay focused, I slip now and then, Iam human. LOL   Alot of your words is just how i felt. Hang in there you can do it. were all here for each other. Delilah

I must admit, I no longer feel as you do and strongly associate it to my choice in program, but also to my belief. When my trainer advised no starches, I worried it would be like it once was on Atkins.  It's not.  Honestly, I think it's because the reason this works is that the carbs are from fruits and vegetables and this is not a no carb diet.   But I think it also comes from him suggesting I view starches and sugar as evil.  Wow, that worked on me.  Why?  I guess I've experienced enough diets and subsequent failures to accept that for weight loss starches and sugars won't help you in the least.  So, I'm finding them easy to avoid. Today at lunch with colleagues I had spinach salad with egg and bacon and french onion soup  with cheese (no bread), plus an apple I will tackle soon as I have room.  I appreciated the bread they had with their salads, but I didn't have this "I wanna" run through my head. I guess when you realize what it takes and just do it, you stop thinking so much.  I won't be off starches always since we're doing periodization, but I just don't see the future as always counting this or that.  I do think, whatever your path to weight loss, you'll stop viewing it as a controlled program and come to view it as your CHOSEN weigh, I mean way of life.  KWIM?

I don't think of it as a controlled program.  But I do know that the rest of my life I have to watch what I put in my mouth...that simple.  Wether it be "my program, or "your program".  Or my eating plan for life.  Just like you say you don't eat breads right now...that simple! :)

maybe I wasn't clear.  not about which program, mine yours whatever.  i just find that by knowing what works against you (in my case starches) it's pretty easy to keep inline without having to watch every little thing, because you avoid the things that work against you.   having done programs like ww, i find it took a lot more thought and that itself was a challenge for me.

Hey Holly, I think that where you are at now it seems like a never ending battle.  I don't feel that way anymore.  Honestly, I realize I had to make a change, change made, onward and upward. Yes, it does mean that I will always be conscious of the food choices I make, absolutely.  But it's no different in my eyes then someone with a medical situation that they have to keep track of.  If I were diabetic and I couldn't eat sugar, I'd stay away from it.  It's really that simple.   I think for everyone, as I have said once if not a million times, the situation is different.  Some of us choose not to eat cookies ever again, regardless of how hard it is.  But there are people who have never had a weight problem that choose to never eat cookies either, it's a personal choice.  I don't eat red meat.  It's not because I don't think it's healthy, but I really don't like it at all.  So I refrain from eating it.

It's really all about adopting a lifestyle change and then letting it become part of your life.  It's not something that you will continually fight, it's more something that you will just become accustomed to! Donna

"adopting a lifestyle change " That's the crux of what I was trying to say  oh well that's what happens when you multitask

Donna, you nipped it in the bud!

So right on, Donnamarie my friend. Different for everyone. For me, I chose not to exclude any food. All things in balance. I chose to enjoy food in 3 bites rather than the 10+ bites I thought it required. Quality, not quantity. I chose to exercise most days to challenge myself, to condition myself, to burn calories.  I chose to see the real issue in my life one at a time:  am I loved?  do I love? do i see the blessings in my life? can i accept prosperity without reservation?  Can  i learn something i did not know yesterday.... I would no more NOT do these things than I would go out of my home with my hair unwashed/uncombed. Each may take one more moment of my consideration, but they are not to be beleagured.  I chose it.

I will still say that different for everyone is only in the choices they make, not in what works for them.  Low cal and traditional plans don't work for everyone, but no starches works on the obese body (and is also advised for those with blood sugar issues (highs/lows), high cholesterol, celiac disease, and a few others I'm forgetting at the moment).  I don't consider it an exclusionary diet, though.  Yes, while you're on it you are avoiding starches, but you are avoiding what works against weight loss.  It's that simple.  Everything in moderation comes at maintenance (or during periodization of no starch diets, ie when you allow some back in temporarily). It's our reasons for obesity thought that are IMO different.  I read "addictive behaviors" in Andy's post somewhere and it just reminds me that that's never been me.  I hear "chronic disease" in yours and I don't agree with the disease label (let's save that for measles, etc. shall we?).  I hear emotional eating and say Pffft.  But that's me.  Maybe all these words suit others better. Regardless, it's all about choice, choice to put forth the effort consistently.