Ugh! Ambivalence is worse than all-out failure!

Mood swing du jour...hahahaha...yup, that pretty much describes me! The other terminally terrible thing about my personality is that I have no concept of my future. As in "Do this now and you WILL be happy about it later." I am slowly coming around to just GETTING OVER IT but obviously I can't even think about labeling myself as "something close to cured" until I have lost a lot more weight... Just want to be under 200...then I will see 175 somewhere...at 175 I know I will start feeling a hell of a lot more comfortable in my skin...damn this is hard sometimes!

Talk about emotions on this board.. Yall are going to make me have a period if yall keep doing this! Sonora: 1. Don't worry about everyone else, and what they are doing! This can be very counterproductive in many aspects!  Use all your jealousy and frustration as MOTIVATION to improve, learn, and change!  2.  Do you think a support group, where meeting in person will help your binging. I am sure venting, consolation, and solidarity will welcome you! We support you, but sometimes just talking to people in person that have the same issues as you do helps.  Like for me, I go to a meeting every Tuesday and we talk about the realities and hardships of the weight demon! I walk away knowing I'm not alone. Finally as Violamom said " Keep on plodding forward.... it is all any of us can do..." AMEN! -Bud

  here you go! Bud do you go to OA or TOPS or something else?

It's called the Methodist  Hospital Weight Management program. Right now I am in Phase 3 coined "Living IT". Very good crowd there. The really nice part is everyone there is at a different point in losing weight, so you get alot accounts of what's life like for them. Some are at goal and some people still have 50 to 100+ lbs to lose like myself.  Also the age range is from 20s to 60s.

Oh, Bud...you are a piece of work. You and your cycle. I really messed up tonight. Binge city...and I thought I was in the clear too. Can't give up, just can't...

  it's a brand new day and you can start fresh from NOW.  you can do this.  the episode has passed...  one step forward...

What else can you do, right? I promised myself I wouldn't give up this try around and I am going to stick to that. It would be better if I wasn't such an emotional crazylady though! I feel good. Usually the day after an eating "episode" I will either not work out at all or do a wimpy version of my usual routine. Well, I'm happy to say I got a very good workout in this morning. Maybe 90% on the power scale... I am totally going to take this opportunity to plow ahead as best I can into the new year...I MUST at least be under 200 by then. Can you believe my original goal was 180? It should have been easy to accomplish too given my exercise (if my eating was right). REGRET IS A BIOTCH! I am going to harness that all-or-nothing-ness if it kills me though. I want to go to Memphis too!!!

Way to go at bouncing back! Very commendable. -Bud

**hugs** this thread was hard for me to follow! (was barely awake last night when i read thru it the first time) the one thing it did seem like i saw was that Sonora needed some hugs. as far as the all or nothing thing......i am that way about some things. foods i feel i was addicted to, i had to take an all or nothing approach to. i was totally addicted to Sun Drop (it's a southern thang!) and secondary to that i was addicted to carbonation! if i couldn't have Sun Drop i wanted to at least have my Diet Sprite. in order to drop that habit i had to give up ALL sodas. diet or not. if i don't feel like i have an addiction to it tho, i feel that it's best not to totally deprive myself. otherwise when i finally do give in i'll end up binging on it.