today at the gym

thanks for your support. i am really not like *hating* my body at all. i just wish i understood it better! sidebar, i can definitely see how peple get addicted to plastic surgery. now that its been awhile since i have any tummy work done, its looking a bit sad. that's prolly part of my tummy focus as well.

Andy i SOOOOo feel you here. I'm kind of in the same predictament.

I am hovering ~180, I am pretty sure (have not been on a reputable scale for about a month now).  yet i am getting compliments that I look like I am losing. I'm not. 

What I am doing is my Sunday marathon workouts - 2-4 hour aerobic things, whether walking hiking or biking. Per usual, my body is being hyper-efficient and not letting go of weight. It has to be that I appear more toned.  Like you, the muscle weight thing irritates me more than encourages me.  I don' WANNA be struggling to stay under 200#, but hey full of muscle. Yet here i am.  Driftng back to the blonde story...I was part of a gym for ~12 years not too long ago - *that* girl was there, draped all over the machines and benches, not doing a thing, looking like a million bucks...me the one over there, dripping in sweat, hair matted.....where's the justice in this world?????

Why does the muscle weight bother you? I totally understand being scale focused, BTDT, but why let it get to you?

Somehow, I finally got to a point where I realized it doesn't matter.  This morning a woman at the gym (70 year old I've "sauna'd" with) came to me and said, "I don't mean to be obtrusive, but how much have you lost?  It looks like 50".  It's not and I told her, but I'd rather look good and feel amazing then care about the scale.

i never said the muscle weight bothers me. i love the fact that i am toned and have big muscles. it allows me to eat more than like my sister, who after losing 90 lbs, is smaller than me but lacking the muscles. if i felt like my clothes were looser, i think i'd be more likely to believe the gym lady and not so quick to doubt the "gaining muscle" deal. what bothers me is people claiming they're gaining muscle when they aren't losing weight. physiologically very challenging to be able to build any muscle while you are on a restricted diet (of any kind). its takes bigger muscles to pull around a 300 lb body than a 150 lb body. when you lose weight, part of that weight is muscle and you can't help that. the weight training just gives you the best chance to hold onto as much muscle as you can. its still a number. and numbers have power, unfortunately.

Numbers only have power if you let them. Also, maybe you're about to go through more morphing?  I know I kept saying "I don't see it, I don't see it!" when others said they did.  I sure as heck do now. As for building muscle, it depends on their program.  If they build muscle first to lose the weight, and feed the muscle growth, then yes, it can be muscle weight.  But no, not while on a restrictive diet (they're losing muscle in that case).

yes, Andy, thank you, well said on the claiming muscle with no weight loss, THAT is the annoying thing. I always say, I have a size 8 under all this fat, I jus' don't wanna scratch it! Unfortunatley, Jersey, numbers DO have power. If I never had to go to a doc and get my BP done, or see a bmi chart, trust me, I felt FINE being 220 pounds at 64 inches tall!  I always have energy and mobility no matter what I weigh or what my bp reading was. this last 40-60 pounds to go are bascially all about fluff (translation:  how I look and feel about myself) if we want to go by how I FEEL! Those numbers were the reason it was NOT alright anymore. Even 40# down, my bp is still borderline, so must be a gene thang.

What's up Andy,

Compliments are hard to accept without feeling like you're gloating; at least that's what it feels like for me.  Try not to negate the compliments because that only longates the session of "But you look so fabulous..."  A quick "Aww Thanks!" should do the trick and shut the blonde bimbo up.  Even a pat on your trainer's back would suffice, passing the compliment on to him. 

Re: the numbers.  I wish I could help you there.  I'm just as bad as you are.  I have people coming up to me at work all the time telling me how much I've lost and I don't see my numbers moving down at all, so I'm panicky. 

All I can say is you're doing great.  Keep up the good work, keep your tooshie heading for the gym (something I need to do) and you'll keep on keepin' on. 

i did pass the compliment directly onto trainer! and he was like, i keep telling you that but you don't listen to me. you should believe completely random woman who has no vested interest in your outcome.  which is totally true. i don't listen to him. but at least i'm equal opportunity not listening....

I just wonder if it's just a woman thing.  I think just about every one I know does this.  We are perfectionists in our own way.  We always want what is just a little bit out of our reach.    Which I personally think is a great thing.  But yea, when you keep knocking it, I'm sure it does start looking bad.  We do need to start working on "thank you" and leave it at that.

I think we're fixed on the "number" because society has taught us that.  All the years being over weight and teased, etc.  It's been engraved in our minds we need to weigh a certain number. 

I can see wehre your coming from finding the line between vigilance and obsessiveness.  Look at the stats!  Evidently your very smart at all this, so it must be stuck in back of your head that it's an ever ending battle. 

I personally got to hand it to ya, you've done great.  You should give yourself more credit, you look fantastic and you got a strong sense of direction.  You know where you were, and you know where your going!  Lol, even if it is too that "number".    You just seem to not want too let your guard down.   Which who can blame you!

I think we should all pack away our scales, forget them altogether, and just live healthy.  You won't need to measure the results.  You'll live them.

Woman thing? To be self deprecating?  Hmmm, I think if we realize how we feel when another does that, we'll realize it's a waste of energy.  Say thank you and realize the changes exist and be glad for them.