today at the gym

so i'm running all over the weight room with trainer. trainer talks to big buff gym buddy while i'm doing an exercise near him. big buff gym buddy is hanging around athletic looking blonde. trainer talks to big buff and blonde comes up to me. says she hasn't been to the gym in a month and that when she walked in, she totally didn't recognize me. that i look so good. especially around the tummy/butt/thigh area. how much weight have i lost? etc etc.   (we won't question the fact that athletic blonde apparently only needs to go to the gym once a month to stay athletic blonde....but that's a different issue). of course, i thank her. and then naturally, negate her compliments, telling her how i'm unhappy cause i've gained like 6 lbs. trainer says i should listen to her since she hadn't seen me in a month so is in more of a position to notice. he also had mentioned in the past that some of the gym rat guys he hangs around with have commented about me and my more toned look or whatever.  SOOOOOOOOO why are we so fixated on the numbers of the scale? am i being rediculous? and why can't i accept compliments??? i think i fear that if i ignore the number, i will suddenly wake up at 200 lbs. where is the line between vigilance and obsessiveness? i have always been very anti- "its muscle weight" because i feel that usually that is an excuse. plus you have to be eating a whole lot of protein to gain significant muscle, which i don't. and my clothes aren't like loose by any means (unfortunately). maybe i have gained muscle in my thighs and shoulders and the fat has relocated to my stomach. is it possible to just be content with our bodies?

Hey Andy. :) Long time no see.. First, i'll comment on the 6 lbs. If your trainer has access to one..  there are scales that give you a printout of what percent of your body weight is fat, muscle, and water. I suggest you find one so you can keep track of what is really happening to your body. It may save you the mental taxing. Maybe at your next checkup appointment with your PCP, you can request to be weighed on a scale gives you a print out of the body composition numbers. Now... Is it possible to just be content with our bodies? Short answer.. Yes, I think for people who struggle with weight and body image, it takes alot more time than people who don't deal with weight/body image issues. Finally.. Don't worry, be happy! -Bud

these are good ideas, although i have had mixed results dealing with body fat measuring systems. the scale ones you can buy yourself or that they have at gyms are notoriously inaccurate. i have had the one in water which is the most accurate. and the bod pod (air displacement) which ranked somewhere in the middle of the other two. i haven't had it done in awhile though. again, its a number thing that i just need to get over. if it comes back with a number i don't like, i get upset. having another number to obsess over isn't going to help me.  btw, i like that you have your pic up instead of the big question mark - cute!

While measurements can be inaccurate in their determination, you can use others (like my Tanita) to monitor progress.  That much is helpful. But you're already mostly there.  Why make yourself go nuts?  What's the payoff from the obsession?

payoff? maintenance. at whatever costs apparently.

Me:  But you're already mostly there.  Why make yourself go nuts?  What's the payoff from the obsession? You:  payoff? maintenance. at whatever costs apparently. You maintain your weight by going nuts??  Not sure you understood the question.  What's the payoff for the obsession.  You'll maintain by your behavior and general awareness.  Why be hypervigilant?

welcome to maintenance! its joyous. its very difficult to understand if you are not there. but outcome research, specifically, the national weight registry (which i am a part of) will tell you that vigilance is necessary. that most people who are in the registry weigh themselves daily and exercise daily. growing up as an obese child/adolescent/young adult  i don't think a day will go by where i won't feel fear on some level about losing where i am and going back to what i once was. i wi**** wasn't that way. but then again, i am also grateful for that fear. keeps me in check. gets out of control sometimes, yes, but still necessary.

Hey Andy, My standard answer for people who tell me how great I look is "yes, but I still have 30 pounds to lose."  Doesn't that suck?  Why can't I take the 140 I already lost and say "thank you, I worked very hard for this."  Sometimes I consciously choose to answer positively and bite back the negative after comments.  It's quite the struggle to do that, let me tell you. Yes, we need to embrace those wonderful successes that we have had.  But we are always going to be critical of ourselves. You know that even after all the plastic surgery we've had we are still looking in the mirror and saying "what the hell is that?"  LOL Is it possible to just be content with our bodies?  I don't know, most of the time I really am okay with my body.  But I'm also one of those strangely odd people that only notices how fat I was when I looked at pics.  Go figure.

Love yourself Andy!!

For me that's an issue of how what's left is arranged, you know? I'm down 130 pounds, but I still have a good ton to go, and what's left is still kinda lumpy and awkward. I have learned to say, "Thank you" and nothing else.

I'm working hard on the simple thank you.  I do the same thing, self depracate. Not good.