Yesterday's Oprah

  But you make one thing clear, that you felt you had to defend yourself.  Why?  I did not counter you.  I simply said that for every "I'm hungry", "I'm not losing", I'm off the wagon" there's a reason--here it is.  That's not prosthelytizing.  There's a difference.  I read through every post I made and see how I responded.  It's clear to me why they reacted, and you, the way you did.  You felt I was telling you you had to do it my way.  Nope.  Just stated the facts. If the facts make you uncomfortable, the reason is other than me.

Still, you've handled yourself awfully, IMO and yes, regularly attacked and belittled and the posts prove it.

Final comment: I didn't have to defend myself-- but felt someone should defend the integrity of the forum-- so it might as well be me.

What you represent are facts-- but not the ONLY or BEST facts. They are your realities, but do not represent universal truths that are the best choices for all people. Your insistence that they ARE is the root of the disdain so many here now hold for you, and nothing else. You got a face full because you deserved it.  "Belittling" is a natural response when one encounters a head that large-- just trying to get you to tone your ego down to actual size so your words might be of use to people...but you couldn't take a hint. So from here on out,  I suspect you'll get what support you deserve--- but having already shot yourself in the foot, don't expect much, or lash out at these good people when they call you on your attitude.

It's ironic, because I think you're ego gets the best of you.   Don't go to a gym and talk to a trainer, or to a class instructor, or read any fitness magazines--they'll corroborate the info and since you don't want to hear it as "best", then by all means, avoid it.  Why does the word best bother you, because you chose differently?  We all have the power of choice, that I respect, but the choices themselves.  Nah.  Not when they aren't all they can be.

And belittling is never a natural response.  Only hurt people hurt people.

You STILL don't get it, do you? I HAVE A trainer, okay? And class instructors. And come to think of it, I am the department chair of a Physical Education department. And the one thing ALL of the fitness experts I know (which is a number in the dozens, and not one guy I have clicked with) agree on is that bodies are not all the same. What works for you is NOT the only way, nor is it the best way for all lifestyles and body types. My plan is/was not so different from your own, and my successes are well-documented...well before any surgery ever occurred. It's NOT the content of your posts that's of issue, it's the delivery! Yes, eating can happen! Yes, protein is good! Yes, exercise is crucial! No one's arguing your "facts"! It is quite natural to defend the actions of good people when someone comes in and makes their peaceable and supportive place tense and disturbing, which you have done. I want you to stop. They deserve better than you're giving them.

"Integrity of the forum" What, to just pat on the back and offer cyber hugs for moodswings?  Because that's what I saw a lot of. Shari, I used to come with all the same excuses I see here and want the same response, but a helping hand did much more than a hug could ever do.   I'll give you this, I'm solution-oriented and a lot of women aren't.  Many may want to just vent.  And I'm not into venting.  It comes across more like whining and rather self indulgent.  Maybe that's what was deemed threatening to the integrity of the forum, a person who gets down to brass tacks.  But a message board should allow for all types.   Again, I read all my posts.  Not a single one took the tact that yours did.  I'd like to think that as a mature woman you'd have avoided that to begin with.

Shari has has much right  as anyone to show up on this board - more, really.  She has laid her life wide open, given and taken shots on all this that we talk about. If a person wnats the truth, ask Shari, if not, well, missy, don't ask then. !  The VERY GALL of that statement of what is she doing here. Her input  & presence has been valuable and appeciated...yours, on the other hand....

Jerz...dude...you have had this public lashing coming for a while now. While I am hardly saint-like I think twice, no, FOUR times before I put anyone's plan down or bash anybody I don't agree with.  I never hold back...love the discussion, can't stand mean-ness reflected in my posts. Not sayin people don't misunderstand once in a while. My goal is to be a soft place for many people to land on. You, though, are truly insulting. Hate to say it, you deserve every bit of this. The irony, is, per usual with folks of your ilk, you think we are all the problem. I wonder why I am wasting the keystrokes on you.  Don't EVEN question why folks are here - not your (or mine) call at all. Last time I checked, it is a public forum - it's a free for all.  EDIT: ...and furthermore, cyberhugs for mood swings...do you really think anybody here is looking for advice from complete strangers????? We all KNOW what to do..we are having trouble getting there and staying there.  You, included, but you will never admit it. Most humans want validation and to know somebody is listening.  If you think because I offer comfort to anyone here for chry-eye just to baby her, you are dead wrong. The fruit of my womb, my own children don't get that from me. I offer comfort to those who i percieve have asked for it.  hug time is limited, and there is work to be done, stuff that is out of the comfort zone for lots of us and it takes handholding for many types to get over that line. Of course, not YOU, you have this wired. so, why are you here, except to tell us how it's done?

so now you are the bouncer too?  bugger off. this board has lots of folks who are considering surgery, preparing for surgery and yes, even recovering from surgery.  How dare you take it upon yourself to speak to our Shari that way!  Shari lost 3 times the weight you have BEFORE her surgery.  She knows the struggle and is quite welcome here.

I have to wonder how your VSG 'friends' feel about your opinions.  Do you go over and tell them all to abandon surgery and get a trainer?  I'll bet you do...  and if you dont - could you try that here please? I am so sick and tired of you ragging on about how sucessful you've been, as if no one else has had success.  You preach on and on that losing more than 2 lbs a week is just los****er or muscle - couldnt be fat and then you wonder if your trainer is right that with correct thinking you could lose more?  well it must not matter because you'll only be losing muscle and water - so why bother?   There are other people here who have had success - some less than you ... some significantly more.  It doesnt make any of our plans perfect.  It just makes us who we are. Furthermore - this is a place where we CAN get hugs when we need them, for many of us it is the ONLY place where people really understand the struggle.  Dont you get that?