I need advice and FAST

Oh, this is a spot on topic. Let me ask you something - do you have any fat friends?  do YOU think they are pieces of crap because they are fat?  hmmmm?  Didn't think so. Those people may have a inner prejudice for fat people, but God help them if they don't want to hang out with fat peeps.  that's their problem if that is the case...and i doubt that. Girl. I agree with one poster who said this is an anxiety thing. I am not 100% sure that you need counseling, unless you find that you are not going to face this on your own. You DO have to face this, with counseling or without it. As a fellow, panic attacked person, I will tell you that THINKING about a scary thing is FAR WORSE than ACTUALLY doing it.  Make yourself go.  GO. Or let them come to your home, whatever. People will stop asking you to come around when you keep blowing them off. You guys live in an isolated area where you all NEED each other, on so many levels. For them, as well as for you & your DH, DO THIS.  It is bigger than you and your low self esteem. Our society has taught us to hate our own bodies. Do NOT give in to that. You are a loving, intelligent, caring person.  i see that without ever laying eyes on you. Yes, there's a pic up there, but all of us in person are far more vibrant.  i know i, for one, take some seriously ****ty pictures. Hold that chin up - you have a lot going on. Don't give in to a societal message that beacuse you weight to lose, you are "less than".  GO, let that inner light shine. Your prospective friends NEED YOU., and you NEED them.

Once again thanks.  My dh keeps asking, and I still can't say yes.  I keep telling him though that if we are going tonight he better call her and let her know.  Lol, I just can't say yes!  Guess I'm leaving it up to him and he's leaving it up to me.ha  Seems like a regular thing in this house between the two of us.   I'm already panicking this morning, heart pounding a mile a minute.  But I think you hit it on the spot, THINKING about it is alot worse ( I hope) than the actual doing it. 

I'll let ya guys know how it goes in the morning..if we go that is. :)  That is if I don't have a heart attack on the way there!