Why is it always so extreme ???

Why are so many of us all or nothing type girls... Why can't a middle ground suffice? We self sabotage and we are completely aware of what we are doing.... For instance, if I had a half of a cookie, why does that open the flood gates to making bad decisions for the rest of the day or the rest of the weekend? I need to work on not feeling like everything has to be all or nothing, because I know that in the end, it will pay off, but I can't help but wonder why in the world I do it to myself. I am sure the reasons are deep,  in all actuality I do understand why I do this, and I have come a long way, but I still have that once a month self defeatist episode. It seems like allot of us have the same issue.. We use excuses, or cir****tances to tell ourselves that it's okay to cheat, or it's okay to eat like a pig all weekend, and then when we had that crappy weekend, and Monday rolls around we feel like someone poisoned us, when we did it to ourselves. It's like I need to binge to remind me why I don't want to binge.. That makes no sense.... I did that last weekend, and I am just not interested in doing it again, but I also feel like having no grains is taking a toll on me. SO tonight, for dinner I am making Paella with whole grain rice, and I am not going to feel guilty when I eat the rice, because I really think I need it. Since July or August, I have gone out of my way to delete grains form my diet, and I think I just need to maybe allow it once a week or something, and maybe that will help me not make stupid decisions like I did last weekend, and binge. . I promise here and now, that I will not binge, or eat outside of my alloted foods this weekend, no matter what !!!! I just can't afford it anymore.. I only have 7 pounds to go for crying out loud.....

random question, but, why are you trying to eliminate grains?

Doctors orders to get insulin and metabolism  under control

ah i see. i would find that very hard indeed.

Along this line- I wonder, does anyone else find the easiest time to have this happen IS when we are so CLOSE to that certain goal?  Cause I have WANTED DESPERATELY to hit BELOW that 200 mark. And yet- I was not all that good to myself. I was AT 200 or between 200-202, and I knew all I had to do is stick with the plan for the week- but I sabotaged myself and in doing so- it took me much longer to get where I wanted. I suspect it has something to do with what you are talking about. Maybe there is something deeper that was "talking" to me. I know in my heart what I wanted- but maybe self-consciously I was having head issues and a part of me was NOT wanting to get beyond that. Good post!  

Alrighty Snuggs, I'm with you - I promise to make it through this weekend without a binge.  I will stick to healthy foods and watch how much of them I eat. 

Ditto, that goes for me too.  I think I need it for this weekend, or until my appt on Tuesday actually.  It keeps entering my mind to just go blow it and pig out since starting Wednesday I will be on a restricted plan possibly.  I guess it is all or nothing for us girls.  I think we need to change that.  But I do call it, us girls being "addicted".  Think that's what it boils down too.  Either turn away or you know your going for the whole thing.  Guess that is what this is all about, to learn portion control and to stop binge eating.  So make sure when you put that rice on your plate tonight it is a PORTION, and not a mound!  That is so easy to do when you havne't had anything for so long.  OR maybe you should rethink your plan and see if your "evil twin" in your head is trying to trick you.  Yea, your close, almost there..only seven pounds to lose.  But if you go off your plan, if your anything like me, you might just gain a pound..possibly two!  Is it really worth it?

Thanks for the reality check before I blew it and gained back the little I have lost this weekend!  I keep fighting it in my head on what to do.  That little "evil twin" in our head have got to get a kick in the butt! :)

I love you guys, I really do.  Somehow whenever I come here, I can find someone to relate to or match my mood, even if I'm not actually out there talking to you all. i completely agree--on this post.  When I was younger, I went to jenny craig with my mom.  We were both really successful, but it didn't stick because we quit and blah blah blah.  Anyway, one of the pamphlets they gave us that really stuck out to me was titled "why eating one cookie is better than eating 3."  It went through this basic process..how eating one leads to guilt then the all or nothing, throw the baby out with the bathwater attitude that just leads you spiraling down a binge fest.   anyway, I am currently going through a breakup with my boyfriend of 2.5 years.  this is tough, man. this is probably the hardest thing i've ever dealt with, and that's including weight loss.  i'm afraid.  i'm fearful that i'll be alone forever, that i'll never find the right person (this guy is essentially all that i could ever want for the right person, and vice-versa.  we're just not feeling the...fullness, and we're both finally fessing up to this...yeah.  it hurts).  I'd love nothing more than to reach for the cookies.  mmm, or the ice cream.  or the big bowl of pasta...but i'm forcing myself not to.  being full of food will not replace being lonely in real life.  but i know if i slip just a little...it'll just be the end.  i'll keep spiraling. also, i agree with the person who said that when they get closer to their goal, they tend to do this more.  For a year, i sat at 160-170.  a whole freakin YEAR.  then, I pushed it down to 155-150 in about 3-4 months.  Now, I'm sitting at 155-150 since august.  WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN DOING!?  yes, i'm maintaining, which is good..but i'm not moving.  i'm not FINISHING.   ugh.   but, on the breakup and personal trauma end...those are the easiest times for me to downward spiral.  

You asked:  "For instance, if I had a half of a cookie, why does that open the flood gates to making bad decisions for the rest of the day or the rest of the weekend?" To decide to open those floodgates is a CHOICE that you make. Trust me, you will get better at this. In time, and establishing certain practices, you will teach and re-teach (and reteach again)  yourself to forgive one or two less desirable choices and not let  it affect the next meal or snack. This took me MANY years, many tears, many bouts of shame and backward thinking.  The weekend thing is pretty hard, i will admit.  it is like the Last Frontier for me, too. I have a need to rest, regroup, and repair my spirit, mind and body on the weekend after a hard, stressful, go-go work week.  I tend to think that by letting go on food choices, that fits that need.  I am working very hard to retrain myself to think of the highest quality of food is EXACTLY what i need, not tons of crap that is going to weigh me down.  I'm trying to find a way to establish a weekend practice that will allow me to not have to then do damage control all week.  I am trying to make sure to take advantage of a bit of extra time on weekends to fill up with a longer exercise routine.   Lastly, I am trying to take mini-stress breaker moments all week so that my weekend does not have to be the Everything that is About Cutting Loose Vibe.  I will leave you with the notion that you CAN decide to lose that All or Nothing thing...in fact, if you do not CHOOSE TO LOSE that attitude, i am not sure that you will really break this bond of compulsion. We all need to find that softer landing place where yes, we have the discipline/control to create healthy practices, yet we also can let go of that control and forgive when we are not right on the dime with healthy practices.  in my yoga mag just now, i read some beautiful words:  discipline helps us create the space where transformation can grow!  Is that COOL????

I feel the same way as you do. I do so well staying on track with what I'm doing and then I blow it and I feel like everything is shot. I guess I need to learn that each meal is a chance to start over. If I have too much at breakfast, I can start over and do better at lunch.

A lot of my depression revolves around my weight. When I get depressed about slipping up, I eat. It's such a horrible cycle to have to live with.

I wish you all the best with everything you're doing. Don't beat yourself up too much if you slip up. We're all only human after all.

A little tip I use is that I'll order dinner, or make something really good and then I'll invite my fiancee to eat supper with me so that I don't over eat. Usually, he'll finish off whatever's left once I take a plate for myself.