Update on Family letter I sent out

All total, I sent out 3 letters to relatives who weren't there for me when they should have been when I was 16 years old, in crisis, had just lost my mother, and was coping with my Fathers inability to be in my life at that time. My letter basically expressed how their familial abandonment had affected me, and our relationships. When we were kids, all the way up to 16, these Aunts and Uncles were ever present in my life, around all the time, and a huge part of my family. I was foolish enough to think that when your Brothers kids are in crisis, that a sibling would step up to the plate and make sure that the kids were taken care of. In my case, they all ran as fast as they could, and then after 15 years of abscence, when I saw them on my trip to Peru, they thought it was okay o resume a normal relationship without talking about what had happened. So.... I got the first response last night...I was in class when the call came in, and  I when I saw who was calling,  one of my Uncles I sent the letter to, my heart skipped a beat, and I felt goosebumps all over my body. It was all I could think about throughout the remainder of my class. I couldn't wait to hear the voicemail, to see what he had to say after everything that had happened. I got out of class, checked my voicemail, and returned his call on my way home. he basically said.. I got your letter, and it made me very sad to see how much you suffered. I am sorry that I did not call you more, or that I was not more aggressive in taking on a parental role for you, when you needed it. I am proud of you, and the independent woman you have become, and I look forward to talking more,  and visiting one another. One down, three more to go......

WOW!!!!  That is GREAT! Did this help you in any way to let it go a little? I think it would be HARD to forgive 100% but the acknowledgement would feel good to me. That shows that he truly IS sorry and DOES love you. It's amazing how our past relationships can affect our lives. I believe it is GOOD to face up to them- in whatever way you can. I have a brother with emotional issues and when he was like 21- (I was 13) he took all his aggressions out on me. He would beat the crap out of me- to the point of his being arrested and my being removed from the home and placed in a foster home for almost a year. YEARS later- up until I was probably 30- I had horrible nightmares of the attacks. I would wake all sweaty, crying and just *hated* the ground he walked on all over again!  The last time I did that- I couldn't sleep and wrote a 3 page poem. I put it all out on paper... I didn't even give it to him- but I *never* had another nightmare. It is just like writing that poem just took it all away. I am so happy for you, that you had a GOOD reply. Even if the other two are not as receptive... just this one, shows you are loved.

First of all you have to give yourself an applause on accomplishing something like that.  Most people would just hold a grudge forever and bottle it up.  You came out with it and look what is happening.  I'm glad he was man enough to open up to you.  Those words he spoke was very hard for him to admit, I bet.  He must love you more than you realize.  I personally think that sometimes when there is a tragedy in a family people handle it different ways.  One of them, is escaping and not admitting it's happening..just like your aunts and uncles did.  People cope in different ways, even if they don't mean too.  Of course there is no excuse , but it's reality and unfortantely happens.  Here's to you and your uncle getting to know each other all over again! 

I'm not feeling particularly brilliant today - so I am going to copy cat Holly and say--- yup!  what she said!

Lol, you crack me up.  It's actually something I know about!  I worked in an office enviroment dealing with elders and disabled so I had to take alot of classes on grieving and coping.  Not the most exciting job, but if your heart is in the right place, where mine seems to be...it brings more happiness to families than you realize.  Ok...sorry..being sappy..hehe  Anyways...your funny..I like you. .  .

aww, did that bring tears to my eyes! Good to know you are loved and he did not lash out at you rather than own up. 

I am sending that uncle a thank you prayer. God be with you, sweetie and may all of the letters bring love & healing to your world.

youre very brave!!!! Im glad that he came to his senses!!! keep up the courageous attitude!!!

I'm happy to hear that you are getting a positive outcome.  You really took control on the situation and I'm sure you know in your heart that this is the most important thing, but I'm so glad that you are making progress with your family (really that they are making progress with you).  It's so important to feel supported no matter how that family is related to us.  I hope the rest of your letters are received warmly and you get a caring response.