New, and would like to get some advice.

I've been lurking on the boards for a week or so.  I got a big scare at the doctor's office.  Backing up a bit, I've been over weight pretty much all my life.  I lost over 100 pounds once, but so far haven't been able to do it again.  Since then I've just been gaining and gaining.  My legs have been causing me issues with nerve problems.  I can't seem to sit for long periods of times.  Then sometimes in bed it happens too.  It hurts and gets annoying.  Doctors have been putting me through every test possible.  Found out there is nerve damage, but not sure what the cause is.  Right now they think maybe it is restless leg syndrome.  I still feel some of the pain even while on the medication for it, so I don't think it is that.  When I went to the gynecologist the other day I thought I would ask her..why not, no one else seems to know what's wrong with me.  She instantly said she knew what the problem was.  She said it was my weight!  She even knew what side I hurt the most in bed.  She said by the time I'm 55-60 I'll be in a wheel chair.  I'm basically heading down a bad road.  She said the docs think I'll get mad or won't do anything else about it, that's why they keep trying other things...basically just to please me (and probably for money in their pockets).  She told me at 300 pounds and close to 40 years old I should be thinking about gastric bypass.  I'm so confused..since then I've been dieting like crazy and have lost 6 pounds so far. I have a younger husband, and four kids..I'm not  ready to check out yet.  I keep thinking am I fooling myself?  I have lots of questions of course (later I'll post em ).  But did you guys make up your decision boom...just like that?  How hard did you really try to lose the weight?  I know I've tried, and succeeded once...although it did all come back.  Think afterward is when you need the guidance from a councelor or someone the most.  From what I've read everyone still has eating issues and problems after the surgery.  I'm afraid...and confused...and need to talk to someone that knows what it feels like.

Welcome Holly!   I'm not sure who your asking- those who have HAD GBP or those who haven't... but I'll answer what my experience has been :) I've never really had a Dr. tell me things like that- but then, we have really crappy Drs. in my area that have failed me with major health issues in my children- so I don;t expect a whole lot of them LOL Personally, I just knew in my heart where I was headed. I am going to be 50 in April. I still have little ones at home (6 & 13) My BP has been UP- I've been on meds for 2 years and it's STILL up :(   I'm 5' 2" tall (short? lol) and my highest weight (that I know of) was 232.  I was having a hard time breathing, sleeping etc.  My mom died at 57- my aunts/uncles on her side all died at 47/48.  My grandmothers were early 60's. WAYYYYYYY to freakin YOUNG!!  I have been on the Atkins diet and was successful for that time- I lost the 20/25 pounds I needed to loose back then. That was in my 20s. All of my life I have had problems but I started really having weight issues when I had my children. My first came at 17 and it took me about 6 months to bounce back- but my (now) ex thought I was still to big- so he had me on several diets... soup broth diet, the rice diet etc.   I had a 6 month gestational loss while with him- the weight AND depression came on more. I left him and built my life back up. I got the weight off (Atkins) and remarried. Had  another child (10 years between 1st and last) and  really wasn't doing to bad- I walked and worked at it- then a year later- was preggo again!   (to much of the WRONG exercise :)    I had gestational diabetes (though not diagnosed at that time- so I lost weight in that pregnancy- was 20 pounds LIGHTER at delivery than I was when I got preggo!  But I lost my mom during that time and in came the depression AND weight again. From then on- I have gone up up and UP!   My weight seems linked to depression. I have a hard time dealing with situational depression and I think I EAT to calm myself?  Then of course- it becomes a real vicious cycle! cause I gain weight and THAT adds to the depression. I think my getting close to my 50th b-day has slapped me in the face. Because of my family history- their early deaths... I feel like I am really on "borrowed time" and I am TERRIFIED that I won't see my youngest dd's children!   I want to see her gown and HAPPY in her life. She is adopted and had a pretty rough start... I want to see her to her settled in, happy adult stages at least before I'm ready to check out. On August 20th., I decided it was time to DO something serious about my weight. One of my closest friends had the LB surgery in June- and has lost 65 pound. I was seriously looking into that but learned my insurance won't touch it. I joined Weigh****chers (just online) and I have been working their flex program for two months now. I have lost 16 pounds (18 really- but my TOM is here on the day I have to log my weight:(  I have worked hard, and yet I haven't worked hard. The flex program is not a hard "diet".... you just eat normal foods. You can still have sweets if you are dying for them... I am allowed 24 points (we count points and not calories:) and I ate good- AND had 2 lolly pops yesterday- they are only 1 point each!  Anyhow- I guess you can say that I just JUMPED into the decision to MAKE this work this time- in a way I did- I jumped on the wagon before I could tell myself NOT to :)    I was successful with the Atkins diet years ago, but have tried it since and only got to maybe 6 weeks. It was just TO HARD for me to stick with it.  I've been on the rice diet- that sucked. I have counted calories, oh! And the cabbage diet to LOL.   I was on Phen/fen and lost 16 pound in a couple months.  My Dr. put me on Meridia about 2 years ago- that worked for exactly 3 months. It was WONDERFUL! It was the first time I ever felt like I could CONTROL my eating. But it just *stopped*.  And at $150 a month- I wasn't going to keep buying it when it wasn't working LOL Anyhow, I think we just have to come to that place in our lives where you know this is *IT*. I am GOING to DO THIS.  Whether it is WLS or non surgery WL. For ME, learning that this really CAN work, has been a HUGE thing! It has given me confidence in ME! I thought I was going to have to dip into our retirement to pay for WLS.... instead, I have told my kids that when I hit 50 pounds lost... we'll go to Disney Land!!   It has been almost a contest within myself- each week when I get on that scale. You can do it!!!  You KNOW you can do it, cause you said you've done it before ;)  Keep coming back here- there is so much support in these forums!   We'll help hold you up Holly!  I *never* thought I could do this- but I am almost 20 pounds LESS than when I first popped into these boards a couple months ago! It really CAN happen! (((((hugs)))))

You just made me cry.  Lol, yes I'm a big sentimental baby!ha  You seem to have hit it right on the nose.  I have been trying to loose forever...yoyoing forever.  My one great weight loss was with medifast.  Yea, a big time let down.  I also lost my dad about a year and a half ago, ever since then I haven't been able to grasp anything.  Depression..just like you, gets the best of me.  I choose not to stay on meds, since I seem to have to take others.  I hate taking pills, want off all of them!  Getting high bp, have high cholestrol even though I'm taking meds.  I've been told I'm extremely close to having dieabetes (also runs in family).  LIfe just seems to have colllapsed on me at age 39!  I  feel also that I'm not going to see my kids grow up (18, 16, 10, and 7).  My legs, heart, body is telling me it's slowly shutting down.  I weighed in at the doctors office at 306..I went by my scale..said 301. :)hehe  Now I'm down to 295 as of this morning.  Yes I'm psyched, but I can't keep wondering if I'm fooling myself.  I'm not getting any younger and my legs are telling me I can't keep trying over and over and over again.  I'm thinking about making it to where if I don't reach a certain weight by a certain time..I'm going to get surgery.  My insurance I believe will cover it, I just looked online the other day.  But, I REALLY would like to do it on my own if I could.  I keep thinking, either way you still have food problems.  Why not figure it out without the surgery if at all possible?  So...that is where I'm at right now.  BTW, I'm 5'2 and live in Alaska also! :) 

Hi  and Congrats on the 6 pound loss, that is a lot and a very good start. I to have lost in the past and since the years have gained it back, so now iam going to Weigh****cher and doing pretty well.I couldnt have the surgery my Inc doesnt cover anything to do with weight loss. so my last hope was trying to do it on my own and with the help of people on this site, Everyone on here has diferent stories, but we are all on here for each others help. Hope you start to feel better soon, and keep up the good work on the weight loss 6 pounds is a lot and iam sure what ever way you decide to lose or have the surgery , You will do great. Good Luck  Delilah

Thanks for the encouragement.  So far I'm really liking this web site.  I hope you are having lots of luck on WW.  It is a great program, lots of people have good luck with it.  I have chosen to do it on my own, with my own set of rules.  I've seen nutritionist and wl doctors up to ying yang..I should know it all by now! :)  So I'm basically just eating between 1000-1200 a day...if I go over some days of the week no big deal..will make up for the bad 1000 days.  I had one doctor tell me that.....look at it like in a weeks worth instead of daily..to balance over eating, or special events on occasion.  Sort of like your extra weekly points!  I'm trying really hard to cut my carbs down and increase my protien.  I have such a hard time with protien.  I'm such a carbaholic.  I boought shake supplemental, but I still always lack.  Between the carb cutting and 1200 I think I should be able to do it.  I just have to journal, journal, journal, and more journal every day!  Think that also might be a key for me. Take care and looking forward to getting to know you!

Hey BTW! I wanted to add here that WW has a great visual on WL.... this is what YOU have lost so far!!  You have LOST the equivalence of: 1 pound= 4 sticks butter 5 pounds= 1 sack of potato's So you are REALLY doing VERY GOOD!   I've also read that you go DOWN one size per 10 pounds you loose.  So you will be moving DOWN in size before you know it!   Try to look at SHORTER goals Holly. If you look at the big picture- it can often get to overwhelming and easy to give up. You are doing GREAT!!!!

Woohoo a sack of potatoes gone...I like that!! ALOT!!hehe Reminds me of a video I jus****ched on youtube.  A lady who had gastric bypass done, and she was very impatient with her weight loss.  Whenever she was giving up her friend told her to go to the store and pick up how many of something (she chose turkeys..10 pounders) and see how it feels to weigh that much again.  She would line up 17 turkeys in the store.ha  The meat guy finally asked her what she was doing.ha  But she couldnt' even lift all of those turkeys it was so much!  She was amazed on how she could even walk.  It was a great little video.

Hello Holly... I am the Diva of the board... (or atleast I like to think that I am ... )   Welcome to our cozy board...  First lemme congratulate you on coming to the board and out of lurk mode...LOL...  I think alot of use have realized that we have some type of relationship with food... be it depression, or everytime we celebrate something it is with food, happy its food,  or whatever... and it is a cycle.   Our pending health issues often slap us upside the head before we realize what we need to do....  A lot of use have made up our mind that the way we are now is no longer and option... I'll be honest... I am still flirting with the idea of LapBand... but I wanted to give myself a true 6 months to see what I could accomplish on my own.... so far I am about 19 pounds down (was 20 down, but had a weekend of bad eating.. eww!) since May.   I made a conscious decision to watch what, when, and how I eat.  I have learned... that there are times, I eat just because.... so I had to change that in my head.  That if I am full STOP!!!!  If I ate at 12pm... I do not need to eat again at 1:15pm..... Sometimes I ate, just because it was there.... and that padded my toosh with weight too.... I had to committ exercising and paying attention to my bodys natural signals and not overriding those signals with my want to indulge....   I am blessed because I do not have any comordities, aches, or anything... and I want to stay that way... We have to realize that this is a life change... and that even if we have surgery.. we still have to take control over what and how we eat in order to be successful on this weight Loss Journey.    Best wishes to you Holly and again Welcome to the Board

Thanks for the warm welcome.  Like you, I think I need to give it my all and give it one more shot.  But in the mean time I'm waiting on my phone call to see when my appointment is to talk to the doctor about lapband vs gastric bypass.   I'm looking forward to getting too know you better Miss Diva! 

Holly -  I too am 39 and just over 300 lbs.  I seriously considerd WLS and was nearly ready to go ahead and start working on paperwork to get it done... and then I found out the hard truth.  WLS would not allow me to eat what I wanted - just less of it.  I would STILL have to change my eating habits! So I decided that I needed to think about it.  And that if I was going to have surgery I wanted to have a bmi under 50 before going under the knife... Now I have decided to just keep on with the eating right and see how far it will take me.  I can tell you that a 10% weight loss has made me feel so much better.  I cant wait until I am at 20%!! Welcome!