A major *jolt* of reality :(

Yesterday a guy I have known all of my life- died. He was 51 and died of a major heart attack :( The last time I saw him, he looked BAD. He was very heavy, his face seemed swollen, he had very poor coloring- had a hard time breathing. I feel so sad for him... he lost so much yesterday :(   He left 3 kids, his family and a LOT of good friends :(   He had been very sick a few years ago- came close to death from a nasty lung infection. After months in the hospital- he came home looking so good!  He had lost weight- his coloring was great! But as we all understand- he slipped into his old habits again :( This has made me realize even MORE, how very important it IS... to get myself HEALTHY. I don't want to be another statistic.... this SCARES me :(  I need to get my BP DOWN! I need to get my body IN SHAPE! There is no time to play around these days... I'll be 50 soon- I *need* to get healthy! My 13 y/o woke me at 1:30 this a.m.- he came to my room and said: "Mom?" I asked him what was wrong and he burst into tears :( He said: "I love you mom", hugged me and cried in my arms. He said he had a dream that dh and I had both died and the whole family was "messed up". He said nobody was together anymore- they all went their own ways. Honestly- THAT is my biggest fear in life. That I will die to young and my family will not stick by one another.  (in my family- the moms seem to be the GLUE that stuck us together) I think my ds picked up on the turmoil with this friend dying, and things are bothering him to.  All the MORE reason to get this weight OFF & get healthy. Wish I could get it off FASTER!  Maybe I'll order some of that alli- didn't I read it makes weight loss happen about twice as fast? I might just look into it.  

((((((Sorry to hear about your friend))))))

It is a huge wakeup call.

The one thing I have learnt from losing this weight is that I hate the fact that I lost time being fat.  It was selfish of me to allow myself to get so fat that my health and lifestyle was compromised for my family (and me).

Work hard, eat smart, be healthy.

Em

yes, we are at *that* age where people around us die and it all becomes real. 

Turning 50 for me was not about grieving my saggy boobs & butt - it was a signal that my life is likely more than half over!

Each day is so precious. I am sorry for your loss.

I am really sorry for your loss.  You're doing really great on your weightloss. Keep it up. :)

I'm sorry about you friend, Mama

Thanks you guys... it's really an eye opening experience :(   We've lost a lot of folks our age up here but they have been accidents. We live in a high risk area with a lot of boating, sea planes, rough weather etc., then you add to that the drugs/alcohol abuse and THAT has been 99% of the reason for so many loss'. But PR is the second person within 5 years of my age- that we have lost in our small community to a heart attack... both have had weight issues. THAT SCARES me! Ya know neeceee,  I am with you on the saggy boobs & butt... I agree 100%. I may complain about it... but I KNOW what the alternative is.  I just want GOOD health at this point. I want to be here to see my youngest dd grow up... to see her children (omg they will be CUTE ) Em, that's what I'm feeling now. I feel guilty for letting so much slide for my family... for me.  Now that it is coming off- however SLOW it is... I feel like I have wasted SO MUCH TIME :(   I've been heavy like this for 20 years now... since the birth of my 3rd child.  I have NEVER been in our public swimming pool. NEVER wore shorts, NEVER been comfortable with  ME. And I *could* have been.  It seemed one day rolled into the next- and one day I woke up and found my life is  over half gone :(    If only... :( Thanks again everyone

I am a little late, Mama, but just wanted to say sorry for your loss :( If you can, try to be proud you're taking control now, rather than beat yourself up that you didn't do it sooner.

((((HUGS))) My mother was only 50 when she died (Nov. 7 will be 12 years).  I believe it was a heart attack as well. I pray that you will continue to take your DS's words to heart and that you'll achieve a loss you can live with and be proud of!