A short or not-so-short update on me

Let's see if I can keep this brief. Probably not! I am spending too much time on the computer today so I might as well do something beneficial that will keep me accountable as far as my weight goes. Wow, I have really struggled with my binging over the last 1-2 months. Can you say emotional roller coaster? It has been as bad as one binge every 5-7 days. But then again, before I weighed myself back in April, I was basically binging every day. I have been able to keep the weight moving (downwards) but the really hard part is knowing it should have been more if only I didn't have my bad days. I keep track of my calories and that's about it. Last night for dinner I made a vegan Boca burger on a light whole wheat HFCS-free bun and steamed some shiitake mushrooms and zucchini to go along with it...tossed those in a tablespoon of BBQ sauce. Other items currently in my cache are: jicama, strawberry soy yogurt, unflavored Fage Total 0% yogurt, hemp milk, fontina cheese, nutritionally evil kid's cereal , frozen whole grain sliced bread, chipotle hummus, canned tuna (which I haven't eaten for years for no real reason but am getting back into), and too much more to list! Did I mention I love grocery shopping? In the spirit of Donna's post about giving ourselves credit, I will tell you that I am very proud of myself for getting back into the gym after 2-3 years of being terrified to exercise. Originally, I swore I wouldn't be able to work out until I lost 50 pounds first (haven't lost 50 yet) and then I realized that it didn't matter and I should just START! So for the past 2 months I have been working out with a trainer 5 days a week, 1 hour a day, and for the past 2 weeks, 1.5 hours a day (except last Wednesday, which I skipped). My trainer is a doll and we can even make eachother laugh...not a bad relationship at all. I am so happy I found someone I truly get along with. My dad has agreed to help me with my gym fees for the time being and I am grateful for that. I am very happy about the exercise and although I'd still label myself "beginner," I am definitely doing stuff that would have been impossible for me 3 months ago. Motivated enough to head to the gym for Sunday morning TV & cardio? I tasted that a tiny bit before and never thought I'd be able to get the feeling back. This time I want to keep it forever because I know what it feels like to lose it and realize you don't even want to walk 5 blocks because it's no longer fun to move at all. My highest recorded weight was 255. Today I weigh 220. I cannot tell you how excited I am for the 2-teens! So that wasn't short at all! But there you have it. XOXO, guys. I hope everyone is feeling as good as possible today.

Gee, that doesn't sound bad at all, sounds kinda "normal" for us obese folks!  Yep, give yourself CREDIT, getting started with the gym is a BIG deal!   Looks like you will be in onederland this winter? Good for YOU!

It's weird how people can be on track for months and then all of a sudden it's gone and they can't seem to get back on track.  I have definitely been there.  For an obese person to maintain their weight for a year is sometimes surprising, but you are going down.  I know what you mean when you say it should be more, been there too.  Just keep hanging in there and taking those steps in the right direction.  For me usually when I exercise it makes me want to eat right.  I don't like to exercise and when I'm making that effort I want some weight loss out of it!  So the two can go hand in hand. Brenda

YOU DESERVE TONS OF CREDIT FOR KEEPING UP ON YOUR EXERCISING.. NOW IF YOU COULD ONLY RUB OFF ON ME.... LEARN FROM THE BINGES,. AND DO YOUR BSET NOT TO SABOTAGE YOURSELF.. MOVE FORWARD... YOU CAN DO IT.... LOOKING GOOD TOOTS.. KEEP IT UP, AND YOU WILL BE DOWN TO 210  BEFORE YOU KNOW IT...210....I WISH....

Girl, I'm excited for you and for me! We're both almost in the 2 teen's! I can't wait to get there and I'll be sooo excited when I get under 200!  I'm very happy you are enjoying exercising again! That's the best part! Keep on truckin, lol - you'll get to your goals!

(((sonora)) It is such a cycle, the love/hate thing with yourself  - making promises that you don't keep to your self do damage. Make smaller promises, like i'll go to the gym today, no forecast for tomorrow, etc.  I am sooo proud of you!!!! 

 First of all, congrats, because it really sounds like you are doing awesome in the gym and doing good. I don't have any wisdom as usual - just support, hugs, and cheers to keep up the good work! Congratulate yourself for the good things you have done for yourself and don't beat yourself up for the mistakes... sounds so easy right? LOL shiitake mushrooms is my favorite curse word :) and kids cereal sounds goooood right now. You go with all that healthy food girl! Sounds delicious!

Thank you Gael, Brenda, Snuggle, Heather, Neecee and Bridget for the support. I am trying to learn from the bad days as best I can...but, man, it can be HARD sometimes! Duh, right? The commitment to starting my day with a little MOVEMENT is what keeps me going at this point. I just can't let it go. I park my car in a garage 4 1/2 blocks from my house and I remember the day when even that walk started to seem like too much of an effort to bother with. I seriously thought it was SO FAR. I don't anymore. Unfortunately, I'd also be lying if I said I'd be perfectly happy with fitness and no weight loss. The occasional self-sabotage is really evil! Let's go, Heather! 219 all the way. Those numbers really seem like a whole different world to me. And of course the 100's after that. I definitely hope to be there during winter.